In the restaurant, as usual they got a very special treatment. They were given the best table in a corner. There was a man made blue-lit canal full of gurgling water with a gondola in it. Anna did not remember that she had seen this the first time they had come here with Stacy. But that time was New Years eve and they were sitting close to the bar. That body of water created an ambiance like they were dining in Venice. Their table was surrounded by the wrought iron fence and inside the fence was decorated with natural flowers and plants. Anna had never seen anything like this. In the back ground, she could hear the pianist was playing a soft music.
"Would you like wine or do you like to try a new drink?" He asked her, looking into her eyes.
"I think I just go with what I know. It's hard to experience new things." She said it with a little smirk in the corner of her lips.
"I agree with you. But life introduces us to new things everyday and if we don't want to try them, we may as well die. I think you're very experienced when it comes to trying new things." His remark sounded sarcastic, but he did not mean it that way.
"I try and challenge new things for greater consequences not little things like a new drink!" It was obvious that she was hurt and wanted to get even with him.
Steve realized that right away and felt that their being together was not a date but a battle. He liked it anyway.
"You have answer for everything."He said and turned to the waiter who was waiting to take their order.
"Two white wine!" Waiter walked away.
"I'm surprised that you didn't order whisky for yourself."
"I know that you're very observant. You even know what kind of drink I like. On the other hand, it seems to me that you're feeling better these days." He forced a smile.
"First, it doesn't need to be observant. You always order whisky. Second what do you mean that I feel better these days. I never felt bad." For some odd reason, Anna could not let go of the attitude she had chosen.
"Yes, you felt bad, after your brother's death you were miserable, Stacy told me."
She sighed. Her face became overcast and motionless. Steve saw that and rebuked himself for reminding her of that tragedy.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
"No, it is all right. My brother's death is a fact of life that my family and I have to accept it. However, death is not an event of one time; it is a continuous remembering and relieving it for the people who are left behind. I have come to that realization after a long time mourning. I have not forgotten the death of my brother but I have pushed it deep in me because if I let that sadness rule my life, I can't do what is necessary to make my old man proud."
At the this point the waiter brought their wines and two glasses of water. He wanted to take their order, but Steve said to come back later for that. After the waiter left, Steve said:
"You like your father a lot, don't you, more than your mother?"
"I like them both equally. But I respect my father a lot. He is a very exceptional human being."
"Stacy told me that you and your father had disagreement before!"
"Yes, it's true. But I've proven myself to him and I've changed him. Now he treats me as though I am a boy."
"I know of that kind of culture that men like their sons more than their daughter."
"No, no, that is not true. They like them both the same; but they want their sons to follow their footstep and their daughters just to be a good woman and marry respectable men."
"So you changed your father so he thinks differently now?"
"Yes, I did. My father and I got to know and respect each other when troubles with Aria started. Then he realized while he wanted his son to be like him, strong and manly, his daughter turned out to be like him. Then he began trusting me. It didn't happen overnight. It took its gradual course. When I noticed his joyless face, his motionless, dark eyes, I made it possible for him to gain a little delight in that time of tribulation..."
"You know, you talk very eloquently." Steve had to interrupt her to compliment her.
"Thank you. You know, when I went to Iran for Aria's funeral, there was this heavy and long silence among all of us. I thought then that my father was disappearing in his despondency. I told him if you're here, talk about it loudly. Don't hide what happened or how you're tormented, and how you've reached this point of hopelessness. He opened up to me. He talked to me. He told me of his depression and gloom. We spent hours everyday together. I miss that now."
"I understand. But isn't your being far from them, what you wanted badly enough to go through what you did, contradict your utmost feelings for them?" He inquired gently.
"Yes and no. I don't think I wanted to be far from them, even though at the time I felt like it. I wanted to have the identical opportunity, as my brother did, to test my life and my chances." She paused for a moment and then continued: "I didn't want to live like my mother or other women I knew."
"I don't blame you. You're too intelligent for that kind of life. He stretched his hand and touched her fingers. He had dynamic eyes then. Anna shuddered by that touch and pulled her hands and put them on her knees.
"I'm sorry." He flushed.
At this point, he called the waiter and he took their orders. Anna let Steve order for her. He ordered some kind of veal dish with roasted potato, vegetable of the day, spinach, and lemon pepper sauce. While sipping her wine, she had this strange desire to ask him a question that had long caused her to be curious. Finally the effect of wine enabled her to ask him the long overdue question:
"Do you ever wonder who your real parents are?" Stammered she.
He gazed thoughtfully into space, feeling stifled beneath her gaze.
"My real parents are the Williams. No, actually I did when I was a teenager but not anymore. I have had a good life, good parents and sister. Why would I be curious?"
"I don't know. It's just if I were you, probably I was curious to know."
"You're not me. And you haven't been in my situation. For what ever reason, my biological parents didn't want me. I was lucky enough that good people like my parents adopted me. They have cared for me as though I am their own." His voice passed his prime and showed the discomfort of talking about this sensitive subject.
"You don't like this subject. You're angry."
"Yes, I don't like the subject. No, I'm not angry. But let's talk about it and get it over with; because I know you want to know. Is there anything else you want to know?" He talked with execration.
Anna thought for a moment and then asked: "Yes, just one question. How old were you when they told you about this?"
"I was fourteen years old."
"How did you feel? Were you sad, angry, upset?"
"I was devastated, angry, and I cried. I screamed but only for a day. Their love and care gave me the energy to recover from the shock."
"They are very good people, your parents!"
"I know."
"I promise I never ask you these kind of question again." She said.
"I believe you." He said immutably.
"You're lucky since your entire past is cloudless and holly." She said in a hesitating voice.
"Does it mean that yours is cloudy and unholy? Everyone has some kind of cloud in his or her past. But life must go on."
Anna looked at him passionately. His tall and handsome figure, his strong hands, his ingenious face with gloomy eyes that changed with his smile, everything in him was naturally enchanting and alive; even his voice was calm and harmonious with the aura of his appearance.
"The only cloud I see in my past, is my brother's death. We were very close. At one point, he was my mentor; but at the end our roles switched. I became his mentor; even though in his injured soul he didn't want to admit it. I can't believe how an emotional outburst, like in his case his wife's betrayal, can change an optimistic person like him to what he was at the end. Yes, Aria's life and death are the only cloud I see in my past. It's hard to forget or let go." Her voice was trembling by emotion.
A grave silence ensued. Words died on Steve's lips. The gratified sadness influenced them both; and Anna chastised herself for carrying so much gloom with her, everywhere she went. Apologetically, she looked at him and this time she reached for his hand and touched his finger.
"I'm sorry. It seems that I ruined your evening." She said.
Steve, as though was in another world, trembled by her talk and touch. He caressed her hand.
"Don't apologize. I understand. If something happens to Stacy, I would be devastated, too."
The waiter came. "Is everything okay? would you like some dessert?"
"No, thanks, I am full. The food was delicious." She responded.
"Everything is wonderful. I like coffee. Anna, would you like coffee, too?" He had a false smile on his face. Anna shook her head for no. She was giddy and confused. She had hidden feeling for this man while thinking: "He will never ask me out again."
"would you like to dance, Anna?" Steve broke the ongoing silence while waiting for his coffee.
"It's late. We better go home." She said in half whisper; but her eyes said something different:" Yes, I love to dance with you."
Steve's pride was humiliated.
Outside, the crisp cold air struck them both. She looked at horizon where moon and stars were enveloped by clouds. As she was going into the car, she noticed that the edge of the clouds were violet color.
To Be Continued
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