JUDAS KISS- Seventeen- At Last ✍ ✖ ☎ ☔ ☗ ☯ ✚

... she heard a sound from stairs:

"Mom, what's going on?"

"Mom? Oh, my God, my son!" Helen breathed

heavily!

Her lungs heaved arduously, as she took a glance through the half open door, and saw the young man, tall, so good looking with grayish blue eyes, tan, identical to her in face and to Jacob in body and height. He had the aura of Jacob, the young Jacob that she had fallen in love with, not the corrupt Jacob of many years passed that New years Eve Party, who was Mr. powerful lawyer!!

He had a full head of blond hair, just the color of her hair!

"I don't know honey!" Jennifer said. "There is a lady here wants something from me!"

Helen thought for a moment on the choice words that Jennifer had used to explain Helen, "WANTS SOMETHING FROM ME!!", and she right away Knew that Jennifer had already connected the dots. This woman was here to ruin her life. She was not a type to share her son, Peter, with his biological mother. It was obvious that she felt threatened by Helen!

Peter came to the door. Helen breathed strenuously. She held on to the door, so she would not fall since her knees were shaking beyond her control. As she breathed laboriously, a stream of agony came out of her mouth.

Peter put his arm around his mother, Jennifer's shoulder. Jennifer's height was up to his shoulder. Helen breathed in everything she could see and hear, so she would never forget!

"I'm so sorry!" Helen blurted out the words with the last strength she had left in her. "I think I'm in a wrong house! Perhaps I'm lost!"

Jennifer had already seen the resemblance of her son and Helen. She also sighed, feeling sorry for Helen, yet being so thankful that she had changed her mind to ruin her life.

"It's okay!" Jennifer said; and closed the door. Helen turned around and ran the three stairs and then towards her car!

~*~*~

As she was getting close to her boss's home to take care of his animals, and mails, and ..., since he was out of town with his boyfriend, she thought about the bad economy, about the rumors that they might close the company, or some would be laid off.

The country was in a big chaos. It was the year 2011. Many people had lost their jobs. The president of the country, which she had voted for, because she was so impressed by his message of hope, had turned out to be doing nothing. She always voted Republican, in fact her ideology was very conservative. In fact, many thought that the President was a very liberal, almost socialist man! He had made the country into a complete plight; the debt of the country had passed fifteen trillions with T!

Steve had lost his job, but it did not matter, since it was close to his retirement anyway and he had a good pension. She thought to herself:

"Did I leave food out for Miss Daisy and Tony?" She could not remember. Her pets were big eaters!!!

~~~~~~~```********* THE END *********```~~~~~~~~

JudaS KISS- Seventeen- At Last ✍ ✖ ☎ ☔ ☗ ☯

The maid answered yes to Helen's question of:

"Is miss Jennifer home?"

Helen insisted that she wanted to see Jennifer:

"It's very important matter!" She told maid. "No, I can't give you my name!" She answered the maid, who was trying to do her job.

"Does Miss Jennifer expect you Miss?"

"No, I should have called, but I didn't! Please I must see her!"

Helen was still not sure if she would stay or run, by the time Jennifer would come to the door; if she would ever come to the door, if the maid changed her mind and told her that Miss Jennifer was not home, or she was busy, or she would see no one that early in the morning, or she did not know, or she was in a meeting, or ...

A woman's first born, specially in Helen's case, considering that her son was the child of a man that she had loved with all the love that she could amass, all the love that was concentrated, all the love that had never found satisfaction...

Jennifer did come to the door. A woman about her age, very beautiful, short blond hair, certainly colored, since Helen could see the dark root at the top of her head. She was wearing a blue silk robe and a high heel white sleeper shoes! Oh, how high class she looked even though she was not dressed properly, still in her robe and all! She looked rich, classy; but above all she had kind eyes! Helen breathed in all these in just a few seconds she had while Jennifer approaching the door. She wanted to keep this memory forever in her- the woman, who had become her son's mother and had raised him!

"Yes, Rosa tells me that you won't leave until seeing me! who are you? what do you want? Is this about a children Charity? But I've never met you!" She talked fast. She was suspicious. The woman, who was standing at the door, with one leg inside, looked so much like her son, Peter! Jennifer wanted that all these to go away. What she was afraid of for all these years had happened. She was certain, the intruder, who had come to her house without calling, was her son's biological mother!

Helen, bewildered, confused, not sure of herself was about to say a thing that she was not sure what it would be. Suddenly she heard a sound, a voice, so similar to the voice of Jacob, coming from stairs:

"Mom, what's going on?"

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Seventeen- At Last ✍ ✖ ☎ ☔ ☗

Helen turned off the car again. Since the birth of her son, her first born, she had this extreme desire to see him, to know about him, to touch him, to know his name, to know about his life; now she was here after four years having the informations she needed to find him, and she was frightened, she shook so much so that she thought she was having a heart attack.

She was in front of the house he was raised, and she did not have the courage to ring the bell! She did not know how his parents would receive her. She did not know if he was home or not. "Hello, I'm the one that gave birth to your son!" She laughed at her own thought! Would they not ask her why now, after all these years? She needed the courage of the old times.

She thought for a minute about Jacob. She had not heard anything about him since she broke up with him after that doomed birthday party; however, deep inside her heart she knew that he was the only man she ever loved. But she loved the Jacob when they both were sixteen years old, or the Jacob of that New Years Eve's party of so many years past, not the Jacob that came to Chris's second birthday party. He had changed; as the world had changed all around her, as people had changed all over!!

She at last rang the bell! It was a very beautiful house. She was happy that her son was raised in a very good and wealthy family. She had done some investigation about these people. Everything that she discovered about them was positive. The man was in oil business, the woman did not work, yet belonged to so many charities, and raised money for poor children! What a wonderful thing to use your money and to fund raise for this beautiful cause! They were very conservative people.

She had to climb three steps to get to the door and to ring the bell. A woman, who seemed to be maid with white uniform on, opened the door. Helen took a glimpse of the inside through the half open door. She saw part of the wide, fancy stairs in the huge entry hall which had a bend to go to the second floor. Oh, how wide the stairs were, so wide!!

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Seventeen- At Last ✍ ✖ ☎ ☔

One weekend, to be exact, Saturday morning, on a cool April morning, so nice, yet windy, just a month before her first son's twenty fifth birthday, Helen got dressed early in the morning. She wore a beautiful green dress, that it was one of her

boss's design and he had given it to her for her last birthday. The dress was the color of Spring, long sleeve, almost form fitted, the length of it just in the middle of her knee! She wore a multicolor scarf which its main color was green, around her neck; then she picked up a black leather shoes with very low hill and a black designer small purse. One things that she always spent good money on was her bags. She looked at herself in the mirror. She was still a beautiful woman. There were some streaks of gray hair amongst her blond hair, but they were barely noticeable. Her figure still turned heads. She did not want to be too dressed up, yet she did not want wear jeans and a shirt, her normal outfit for weekends! She thought that she had succeeded to look nice, yet modest. She wore her hair in a pony tail and then twisted it to a bun. She wore very little make up, almost unnoticeable! She looked at herself in the long mirror of her bathroom once more, and at last left the her apartment.

She drove her car, a new model BMW, that she had used the money from the little black bag, to buy it. There was very little money left there. But it did not worry her at all. Now she had a career, and she could live a normal life without depending on that blood money, like normal people!

Anonymously, before buying her car, she had put an envelope in the male box of poor Marks' house one late night, with $100,000 on it. No note or any hand written thing anywhere in the envelop except the money. On the envelop, she typed in, "Please don't search for the sender of this money! This is for Mark's family! It's nothing compare to him losing his life!"

She drove to Highland Park area. The memory of the days that she had lived with Roger in that area rushed back to her as an unwanted flood. In fact she passed Roger's house, the torture chamber that she had lived in at such a young age between sixteen and eighteen. She had not been in these area since the day that she opened the safe and ran. Memories of Mark rushed back to her like a nightmare. If the poor man had not helped her, she had never been able to escape from the paws of Roger. Perhaps he had used her, made her to do drugs, perhaps she had come with some disease! " Oh, poor Mark, you lost your life to save mine!" Tears gathered in her eyes. She almost wanted to stop, but she continued driving.

The house she was looking for, was not very far from this doomed one! "Am I paying for my miserable life because of Mark?" She questioned herself! This house that she was searching for was the house that her first born was raised. It was in the richest area of Dallas. It looked a beautiful house from outside. This was the house of the man and woman, who had adopted his first born, the son she had with Jacob. "How I've been able to hide this from Steve and even Jacob?" She murmured. " Did I have any right not to tell Jacob that he had a son with me?" She thought to herself.

She parked her car in the street, not exactly in front of the house but a little further down the street. She hesitated in the car for awhile! Should she or should she not? But when she thought of her son, whom she did not know anything about him, not even his name, she was not sure if what she was doing was the right thing! " Knock knock, I am your son's mother! I am here after almost twenty five years to destroy your life!" She thought to herself. "Does he know that he is adopted?"

She did not know anything about him; how he was raised, how he was educated, how nurturing his adopted parents were to him, how ...? She started her car to o back home; but again she thought hard and deep:

"If I don't do it now, I never will!!"

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Seventeen- At Last ✍ ✖ ☎

But one thing Helen had not done yet. She knew where the parents of her first born lived; but she was not sure if her son was still at home, or out

somewhere in college, or perhaps even married, or lived on his own! She had not yet done anything about the informations she had craved for so many years; and now she had them. She carried the large envelope with all the adoption documents in her bag with her, everywhere she went, to work to supermarket, to dinner. She knew if one day she did go there, it would be spontaneously. She wished she knew her son's name, but she did not. Of course there were ways to find out about it, now that she had all the facts, but she did not know how to approach it, or perhaps was afraid to learn about them.

Four years had passed from her divorce and from having these information. She was frightened to show up at the door of the parents of her son's home and say, "I am your son's mother!" All her courage had used up to survive all these years, for all these dealing with men in her life, for raising her children, for unending quarrels, for hiding so many informations from Steve, for being terrified if by any chance she had come face to face with one of Roger's client, for the depth of love for Jacob she had, and for how the money and power had changed him, so much so that he wanted her only for the sake of having a mistress. She remembered that once Jacob told her that it was almost like a fad for all these powerful men, such as lawyers, oilmen, men with so much money, to have a nice family for a showcase, and to have other women at side. Steve did it, so did Jacob! Like her boss that was a straight man with wife and two children, and yet because of his profession, being in fashion industry, he had all of sudden had become homosexual. Of course she had nothing against these gay people. They were, in her opinion, were some of the nicest people ever! But now working in a place that most of the designers, people, who were on salary, men or women were homosexual, but people, who worked in the factory as an hourly basis were not! Again this was another trend which was catching up like a wild fire!

Now at age fifty, she yearned to see her first born. He was twenty four years old now; her last born, Caterina was in first grade. She had moved to the house, as it was in their divorce arrangement, so she could go to the same privet school that her sister and brother had gone. Elizabeth had finished her education; however against her parents' advice, she got married and now was expecting her first child. Steve and Nancy had two children, both boys. Chris had dropped from school, had moved out of the house, and moved in with Helen; but yet again left his mother's house. He was a confused young man, who was mixed up with some friends, who were influencing him in wrong ways. But he always returned. He always came back to his mother, Helen, for money; and then disappeared again!

When Helen had formerly worked, that work of so many years past, it was not only for escape of her doomed life, but also and most importantly was for the love of teaching! At that time, she used to think that without work, her life was too gloomy. Now she needed to work so her life would have some colors, so she would have some social life of her own, not of Steve's choosing, so she would have some uniformly bright life, if such thing ever existed!!

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Seventeen- At Last ✍ ✖

In the interview, they asked Helen why she had not worked all these years? She just told the truth. She decided in her case, lie would not bring her a chance to find a job; therefore, she adhered to honesty. She made a very good impression with the supervisor, who was interviewing her. He gave her a tour of the company. She

would to become the designer's personal secretary, the man, who also owned the company. The man, who lived with his boyfriend. Helen would do more than secretarial job for him only a few months into her working. She would take care of his house, dogs, cats, parrots, ... when he was traveling either for business or pleasure, and always with his boyfriend!

It was Wednesday morning when she had the interview. It was a pleasant fall day. They asked her to go to work Monday. The other secretary was retiring, but she had promised to stay two extra weeks to mentor Helen and to help her to learn her new job. She also told Helen of the designer's demands of doing his personal things. Helen said: "I don't mind!"

When Steve heard about it, he began his complaining again, but this time Helen cut him off and said:

"Not anymore, Steve! We're not married anymore. I can do anything I want. And how do you except me to live without any income?" Steve never knew about her little, black bag!

"What about Caterina?"

"She'll be okay. Besides, Nancy had offered to baby sit. And if one day she can't do it, I take her to daycare. She'll learn social skills there!"

Nancy was pregnant with her first child. Helen looked with her fiery eyes at Steve and said:

"I am so grateful to Nancy. When she has her own baby, I'll send Caterina to daycare. If you want, take me to court. But no way I let you do to this child what you did to Elizabeth and Chris! Look how spoiled they have turned out!"

"If it's about money, I give you more!" He said while trying to contain his anger.

"Keep your money. I don't need it. I've been wanting to work all these years and I didn't because of you. But now you have no control over me!"

Even though they were not married anymore, they still fought. But this one, Helen decided, that she should win and she did.

Now that she was at last doing what she had always wanted to do, she felt sorry for herself. She was close to fifty years old. All her youth was wasted living with a domineering man! All her childhood was wasted living with her parents, who were sick. She had two choices now, and needed to make a decision, to feel sorry for herself or enjoy what she loved to do no matter of her age. She decided on the second option!!

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Seventeen- At Last ✍

Caterina was a sweet little girl. She was a happy child; never fussed like the other two when they had been her age. She was happy to see one or both parents! She had learned at such young age not to take

sides, and to love both mommy and daddy the same. At the time of the divorce, one thing both Steve and Helen agreed to, which was not written anywhere in their divorce decree, was to do everything they could possibly do for the well- being and comfort of the children! This oral harmony was only for the good of the children. They promised each other never in front of the children they say something unpleasant about the other; and would stay friends for the sake of the them; even though Elizabeth and Chris were not children anymore, yet they were still at home and leaving with their father and Nancy. Helen Still had the key to the house. She could go there anytime she wanted; but she never used or abused this privilege. They were a lot better friends than husbands and wife, so strange but true! A few times a week Helen even had dinner at the house.

It took Helen a while to find the secretarial job for the famous Dallas designer. Helen was almost three yeas old when it happened. Steve always wondered how could she live without any income, but anytime he offered help, she refused. When Helen began working, and Nancy volunteered to baby sat Cterina, Steve was again went through one of his temper tantrums.

"Am I not giving you enough child support? Why do you have to work, and drag my child every morning here and there?"

This happened in front of Nancy. Strangely, Nancy took Helen's side.

"You didn't let her work all these years. Leave her alone now. I said I take care of Caterina!"

"What if one day you had to go somewhere, or you have something to do? Then what?" Steve flared up to his new wife.

"So what! People always use daycare for their children! There is nothing wrong to take Caterina to day care once in a while! It is good for her." Nancy deliberately put some emphasis on the word GOOD.

Helen these days had more trips to the bank and to her little, black bag. Besides Steve paid Child support only for Caterina, since Elizabeth and Chris stayed at the house, and they both had passed age eighteen. Steve's spiteful tantrum did not work this time. The two women, one former wife, and the other new wife, told him that he was an old fashion man, who thought he was still in military and these two women were working beneath him!

Helen had refused any financial help, or even half of their community property that lawfully was hers. She had refused to receive any alimony. Time had come for her to work; she wanted to work. For the last twenty four years Steve had prevented her from working, had run her life, had watched her as if she was a child! Now, she was at last free. She tried first different colleges for a teaching position; but things had changed since last she had taught. People she knew, they were all gone, retired, or else! She was older. She had not worked for so many years. According to one of the places that she applied, she was not a desirable person to be employed. They told her that she had no experience. She faced a brick wall everywhere she applied. Lastly she decided to try different kind of jobs. The first ad in the newspaper caught her attention. It was a secretarial position in this fashion industry corporation.

They responded to her call at once; invite her for an interview, and asked her to bring her resume and references. She did not have much of a resume; but she did have the education, and she still had her good look!!

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Sixteen- The Agreement ✺ ☏ ☗ ☘ ☤ ☪ ☘

"tell me what you want!" Steve immediately talked about dividing their assets, or that was what Helen thought!

"I don't want anything. You keep everything. Just leave me with my children!

She said with no fear of him. She knew this time the divorce was for real!

"Are you joking? My children!? You're dreaming! No way!!"

It took them six months to settle. Meanwhile, Helen moved out of the house and rented a small, one bedroom apartment. Steve's girlfriend, Nancy had already moved in the house!

They at last agreed that Elizabeth and Christopher would stay at the house with their father because of their school; however, They could see their mother and spend time with her anytime Helen wanted. Helen thought this was a better arrangement, so the children's lives would not change dramatically and they could go to the same privet school. Besides Helen Liked Nancy, Steve's girlfriend. She was very good With the children; and the children liked her, too! It was down to the middle joint custody.

Helen refused to get half of the house or any of their belongings. She refused alimony which by Texas Law, she was eligible for it. Steve was shocked by Helen's generosity. He was also amazed that how she would make a living without any job or help from him! Nevertheless, she found a job very quickly; it was not the teaching that was her dream career, but it was the assistant or secretarial position to this well- known designer. She still had plenty money left in her little, black bag; but she was finally able to work. Helen just wanted to get out, to leave, to be free, lastly!

Caterina, was agreed to stay with Helen until she would be school age; then she would live with her father in the house, so she could go to the same privet school that her older siblings had gone! During the day, that she worked, Nancy baby sat Caterina.

Helen's lawyer told her that she was crazy that did not want any financial assistance or half of their belongings, since she had a right to them as the community property!

"What is the matter with you? I've never seen any woman like you! Most of the time women take their husbands to the cleaners in divorces. You're so strange!"

Helen laughed at her lawyer and said lastly:

"But I do want one thing! It is a long story!"

She told her lawyer about her first born, the son she had had with Jacob!

"What I want is to know who were the people who adopted him and how I can find him! I know Steve has all the information. They all locked in his safe!"

Steve, at last, agreed to share the adoption information with her. Elizabeth and Chris stayed in the house. Their lives did not change; their school did not change. They had seen the fights between their parents. Now, they saw their mother everyday; but they lived with their dad and his new wife, Nancy!

Helen went every morning to the house to drop Caterina, and to take Elizabeth and Chris to school. Nancy picked them up every afternoon; since Helen was still at work. When she got off work, she went to the house and picked up all her children. She spent the evening with them. They normally had dinner with their mom. She made sure that they did their home works. Then she took them to the house. Steve still had the same schedule. The little Caterina was now two years old.

Now Helen had the information that she had desperately wanted for the last twenty years! She knew where her first born lived, who his parents were. Would she use those information? She was not sure! She had searched for her first born, the son of Jacob, all these years; now that she knew where he was, she was not sure what to do with it!!

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Sixteen- The Agreement ✺ ☏ ☗ ☘ ☤ ☪

How could it be? How was it possible? "Oh, God, not now!" Why didn't she think of something when the doctor removed the IUD? On the other hand, she never thought, that at her age, she could get pregnant!

The pregnancy delayed the divorce. Steve refused to go ahead with the it since she was pregnant. In fact it brought him much closer to her for the first time after over twenty years of marriage!.

For Helen, it was a nightmare, it was the worse news. At her age, right at the time that Steve had at last agreed to a divorce, this should happen! How many women her age would get pregnant? She had never heard of one! The doctor said there were many. The feeling of despondency that had seemed dead in her since Steve had agreed to a divorce, revived itself more and more; sprang out and took possession of her heart. She figured by the time the baby was born, she would be forty four years old.

The doctor called it, "high risk pregnancy". Even though It was against her religious belief, she told the doctor:

"Is it high risk for which of us, for me or the baby?"

The doctor looked at her with amazement and after a few seconds of thinking said:

"For both!"

Helen immediately said: "Then it does call for an abortion!"

Steve was with her. He looked at her with the strangest gaze ever; so did the doctor! But it was the doctor, who said:

"I don't believe that you said that! It happens all the time. Any pregnancy at your age, or even younger, like in thirties, is called high risk! It doesn't mean you should have an abortion!"

Steve looked at the doctor with thankful eye; specially when she said that there are new tests could be done to make sure the baby was okay and had no def act!

The high risk pregnancy was one of Helen's easiest one. The only thing that was a little out of extraordinary and happened at the end, was the baby, a girl, was born twenty days earlier than due date; not even called to keep the baby in the hospital. They named her Cathrine. She was born on September twelve, 1986, one month short of Helen's forty fourth birthday.

Caterina was a beautiful girl, a little small built; but even as a baby, which was always hard to know, since babies would change a lot she looked like Helen. Everybody said that she was the mirror image of Helen. It was love at first sight for both Helen and Steve, and even Elizabeth and Chris!!

When Caterina was one year old, Helen stopped nursing her. Then she brought up the subject of divorce to Steve:

"We just have to do it. I've been asking for a divorce since the beginning of our marriage. I had no idea that I was going to get pregnant Again!"

Steve was barely home. He still had the same schedule. On his three to four days off , he spent most of his time with this new, now openly girlfriend, Nancy; a woman twenty years younger than him! He did not hide it from Helen, or lied about it. She knew up to the last detail about Nancy. She had even been to the house a few times!

Now in fact he was happy to hear that Helen brought up the subject of divorce. But he was not a type of man that go through a simple and friendly divorce. Everything in this union had been unfriendly and traumatic!!

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Sixteen- The Agreement ✺ ☏ ☗ ☘ ☤

Then it came a period that besides the headaches, Helen began having very heavy periods; sometimes two or three times in a month. Pain was unbearable. She was even concerned that she might have some from of cancer!

Lastly she went to to see her gynecologist. But before this she heard a news that shocked her, yet made her happy to her innermost core! Steve told her finally that he would agree for a divorce. But the children should stay at the house since they went to privet schools. She knew that Steve, as horrible as he had been to her, was a good father, and would not let the children suffer because of divorce.

As she drove to the doctor's office, she thought that she would not ask for any financial help from Steve because of the divorce. Just letting her go after all these years was the greatest thing he was doing for her. She still had plenty money left in her little black bag; how much, she did not know. She told herself: "I'll get a job, anything at last, doesn't matter what! Oh, God, at last!"

She was now forty three years old. Her best guess for her heavy bleeding was that perhaps she was going through menopause. But the doctor told her otherwise:

"Your bleeding is for the IUD you have. It's been there for many years. We need to remove it."

She suddenly remembered that how she had another doctor to insert an IUD in her after the birth of Chris without telling Steve. At the time she did not want to be cheated by Steve and get pregnant again. But still she had heard women her age go through female climacteric. She brought the subject to doctor's attention.

"There is a possibility; but we won't know until we see how you do now that I removed the IUD. If you still are irregular, then in a few months I'll do a hormone test on you and we go from there!"

The heavy bleeding stopped. She had one normal period. The divorce process was going almost smoothly! She was happy at last. She was at last gaining her freedom back from all these men in her life who had used her in different ways but none in a good way!

She went to the doctor both for follow up and for not getting period for the last two months now. So her guess of going through change of life most likely was correct. After examining her, the doctor told her the shocking news:

"You're pregnant!!!"

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Sixteen- The Agreement ✺ ☏ ☗ ☘

Days, weeks, months, and years came and then they disappeared as though they never existed. One day Helen realized that she was forty years old. She was still a very attractive woman; she had gained a little weight which was not bad at all since in her thirties she

had been much too thin. The maturity brought up all her beauty, in and out, to the surface. Even Steve would sometimes tell her:

"You turn heads. You get so damn prettier everyday. I've been hooked on to you for this one reason all these years!"

Steve still would not let her to work. This was a puzzling thing for her. The only thing she could think of was that perhaps Steve thought the man who fathered her first born, was someone from work! She knew as time passed, finding a job as a teacher, which she loved, would become harder for her, someone who had taught only three semesters in her twenties; yet she knew that there was always other positions which she could get hired for. She always looked at Sunday Papers for jobs; even though she knew as long as she was married to Steve, it would never happen!!

Elizabeth now was a spoiled thirteen years old teenager, who looked much older than her age. She was totally daddy's girl now. Steve let her do what she wanted. Helen did not approve of the way she dressed, short skirt, open neck, ... She wore make up, like a woman. Mother and daughter fought all the time. Helen had transferred all her fights and agers with Steve to fights with Elizabeth. Steve always defended Elizabeth even though deep inside she knew that Helen was right!

Christopher was ten years old. He was hers, always hers! He was her life. Nonetheless, she had no idea few years into the future, the influence of some bad friends, and knowing how miserable her mother was, would change her Chris, that he would drop off from school, that he would make a mess out of his life!

Steve still had the same schedule; three or four days work, and the rest of the week off. On his days off, he still went to bars and got drunk. During the last ten years, Helen was certain, that he always had had a girlfriend, a one night stand, a mistress, short affairs, or long affairs! But she did not care! She did not care for anything but her son, Chris, and her son with Jacob, whom she did not know anything about his whereabouts, or his adoptive parents. He was fourteen now. Oh, how much Helen wanted to know him, to see him, to touch him! But she knew what she wanted and wished for was impossible!

All these years, she had not figured out the combination of the safe that Steve kept all the legal adoption document there. Not once he made the mistake that Roger had made!

The old headaches were back with vengeance. The doctor told her that his best guess was stress and migraine. She never told the doctor how Steve had made her life miserable because of the birth of her first son. She never told him that she wished he divorced her and left her to find peace at last!!

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Sixteen- The Agreement ✺ ☏ ☗

The men in Helen's life had ruined her, destroyed her peace of mind, her personality! So many horrible things had happened throughout her life only because of these men. All of them had made her to become someone who was not sure of herself, who did not know what she truly wanted. Jacob's calling became less and less until it stopped. But this period lasted a long time; it didn't happen overnight!

The Jacob she remembered was gone; the one who fathered a child with her was now a different kind of man! Money and power had corrupted him like Roger. She liked the Jacob, who was poor, desolate, who ran away with her from Chicago. She was still in love with him, not this new Jacob, but the one at the New Year's Eve party, the Jacob of her childhood! But she certainly had fallen out of love of this new Jacob, who was corrupt and powerful!

Meanwhile Steve mentioned them several times:

"We need to get together with them. I really like them!

Helen, who had already warned Jacob, "No more socializing!", told Steve:

"It's their turn to invite us! Why do we have to always give parties? No one ever reciprocate!"

For once, Steve agreed with her. He was puzzled why Jacob did not call him or even ever returned his calls.

"You're right. You never know people. He doesn't even return my calls!"

Helen laughed within herself at her handiwork and then said:

"See what I'm saying?" She was delightful that her threat to Jacob that she would tell his wife she was the one, who had an affair with her husband, had worked.

Every so often, after all these years, Steve would bring up Helen's first pregnancy and would begin a fight. However he was perplexed why she did not fight back anymore. He liked the old, always frightened Helen better than this new calm woman! She had decided not to fight anymore. She just did not have any control over her feelings; and what was her feelings?

She would not get angry anymore. It seemed as though cutting ties with Jacob had calmed all her nerves that were related to him. Steve, sometimes, in order to bring up the old emotional Helen out to the surface, told her awful things; but she had made up her mind on several issues; first and the most important was never to tell Steve who the father of her first born was, and then never to mix up with Jacob or any other man at all; and the third, never to get angry with Steve no matter what he did to her! As bad as he was as a husband, he was a great father and he was a hardworking man!!

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Sixteen- The Agreement ✺ ☏

At this moment, being drunk, having a good time, with the two men in the house, one her husband, the other her lover; she truly could not bear either of them! She despised them both for the very thing they were proud of; and that part of them in egotism

with themselves, their highly- strong temperament, contempt and disregard for everything coarse and unsophisticated!

She watched with horror the greediness in which some men ate and drank. She tried very hard not to let them see that she had noticed!

The last to leave the party, were Jacob and his wife. It was three in the morning. Their goodbyes lasted ten minutes while the two men talked about their works; and they promised each other to get together again; and Melisa kept reminding Jacob that they needed to get home and send the baby sitter back to her home!

Helen spread herself on the bed at the top of the bedspread with her dress, jewelries, and shoes still on. She fell asleep instantaneously. Steve came to the bedroom, began shaking her.

"Get up, change your clothes!" But Helen had no will or energy left to get up, to change, to remove her make up. She was completely worn out of the long day and night and the two parties! Drinking excessively had not helped her being so tired!

One week passed from the party. Jacob called everyday. She refused him everyday!

"I told you it's over. Didn't you believe me? You're married, I'm married. We've made a big mess out of our lives! For God's sake, leave me alone!"

The inevitable end of everything confronted both of them for the first time with such an irresistible force that Jacob, who knew she was right, had such a hard time to be refused. Helen told him on the phone that his wife was a beautiful, classy woman, a wonderful mother! She told him that she knew all about Mr. Holland's plan, who was trying to save his investment, Jacob, after all he was a business man; and to save him from the demon of his self righteousness; and he needed to accept it! The last phone call came. She told him:

"If you don't stop calling me, I tell your wife that I'm the one who tried to ruin her marriage!" She really meant it. She was tired of all men, Steve, who would never forget her mistake, Jacob, who at this point, she was sure of it, just wanted her for sex and old memories!!!!

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Sixteen- The Agreement *

The party was a success. People talked about it for a long time. Helen played her role as a hostess very well. She acted in a way that no one could suspect there was anything between Jacob and her! She began feeling comfortable in her red dress that she hated it when she had put it on.

All the women in the party complimented her dress and her beauty. Evidentially, Steve's plan to show her off as a loose woman did not work.

Melisa, Jacob's wife, was wearing a black, velvet dress. It was a very simple, short, and strapless dress. She was also wearing a black velvet stole with red satin lining around her shoulder. She wore her hair in a French twist. Amongst all the women, Melisa and Helen were the prettiest; and Jacob had both of them.

Helen was sure that Melisa did not know Helen was her husband's mistress; even though she knew of his adultery.

The dinner was served; but people decided to take their plates and sit in different places in group of two- three, or more. Helen noticed that Steve, Jacob, and John, the friend who had had the accident, were together the entire evening, talking, drinking, laughing!. She, herself, drank a lot, although it was her tactics not to drink too much when she gave a party!

Since Steve had told her earlier offensive things again, she decided to act the role of what Steve had called her! She was sexy and flirtatious. She swished her red chiffon dress when walking, began to feel comfortable in her low cut dress that showed her wide, beautiful back and her cleavage in the front! She noticed that Jacob's eyes followed her everywhere; but she had made up her mind that night to break up with him. She thought to herself: "Even if his father- in- law forced him to come to this party, he could had done something to refuse it!" If he truly loved her the way he always said he did, he could had found a way not to come to her home and befriended her husband!

In her drunkenness, she believed that at one point, Jacob loved her for who she was; but as he had become a powerful lawyer in the law firm, and had noticed that most of these successful men had wives and a mistress at the side, he had also changed; and Helen had become just an affair, just a mistress, not a true love that she had been before! She believed that the childhood crush, the love of that New Year's Eve party did not exist anymore. It was now all about having an affair. But she also knew that she had always loved Jacob! Now this love had changed to a love with disgust!!

To Be Continued