In the week that Stacy was gone, beside doing spring cleaning and donating many things that she did not want anymore to charities, Anna did a lot of thinking, soul searching, and walking. She would graduate this May with a bachelor degree at age nineteen. This was her last semester. What would she do next. Her plan from beginning had been to go for her master degree and then her PhD. and to become a nursing professor. She was already working in a hospital as an intern. Her ability combined with intelligence and hard work was paying off. The hospital she was interning had offered her a permanent job when she would finish school and get her licence. What was it that keeping her there? was it higher education as she had planed from the begging before leaving Iran, or was it a hope, a false hope, like a far mirage in a Sahara. Pondering and introspecting, she finally made a decision. "I will go back home. I need to serve my people. They need me more than American. I will live like a nun. I will never get marry and completely dedicate myself to serve my people."
The insomniac nights without Stacy brought her a new habit. The first night without her friend, she got out of the bed at two in the morning, got dressed, and left for a walk. She was seeking a rhythm for her life and an inspiration for longevity's oscillation. She meandered aimlessly the streets close by. The inside of campus and outside were very secure area. In fact she saw many students who were roaming in the streets. As she left the campus, just outside the gate in the street, she noticed a small cafe/bar type of the store that was open. She wondered how she had never noticed this place! She went in. Besides the young bartender, there were a young couple, definitely students, sitting at a table next to window. The place was filled with smoke of theirs and bartender's cigarettes. The couple were drinking something yellow color in a very small glass, she learned later that they are shot glasses.
She approached the bartender and sat herself on the tall stool. This was her first time in a bar alone.
"Can't sleep? What would you like to drink?" He was annoyingly lively.
Anna felt out of place. She did not know how to leave while she was already seated. She did not want to stay because she was certain that bartender would want to talk to her.
"Coffee please."
He disappeared and then returned shortly after with a cup of steamy coffee. "Sugar and creme?"
"Yes please." She slowly sipped her coffee and occasionally glanced at the couple and the bartender. The couple were engaged in a heated conversation which seemed to her more like an argument. Bartender was busy cleaning and washing. She drank her coffee so fast that almost burned her mouth and then slipped down from the tall stool to leave. "How much do I owe you?"
"Would you like another cup, on the house?"
She had never heard the term"on the house" before. She did not know what it meant.
"What do you mean?" She exclaimed.
He looked amazed. "Means free."
She flushed. She thought the lonely bartender flirting with her. "No, I can pay for my coffee." Her voice was abrupt.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I always offer the second cup free to my customers." His voice abated explanatory.
Now Anna was ashamed of herself. She thought that as good as her English was, she still did not know many things specially when it came to slang. He was just a man, perhaps a student at same college, who was working at night and trying to make a conversation.
"Sure, I take another cup. Your coffee is delicious." She tried to override the charge.
He gave her an insightful glance." I've never seen you here before. Are you new to this area?"
"No, I live in the campus. I have an apartment there. How about you? Are you a student, too?'
"Yes, I go to school during the day and work four nights here."
"I thought that I've seen you somewhere." Anna now did not mind to talk to him.
"I can't afford to live in the campus. We have an apartment not very far. It is four of us that share it."
"Life is hard, isn't it?" She meant it.
"Ha...!" He interrupted himself. Another couple entered the bar.
The smoke in the room made Anna giddy; nonetheless, it had a sweet aroma that she decided to try it herself. Before leaving, she asked the bartender: "I want to buy a pack of cigarette."
"What kind do you want?"
Anna thought to herself: "What difference does it make?" She had no idea what kind she wanted. She pointed to the shelf. "That." It was Marlboro. She paid for her coffee and cigarette but before leaving, she asked him: "Can I have a match?"
"Sure!"
She left the bar. Out side the morning looked rich and assuring. She opened the pack in a way that tore the top part of it. She did not know there was a certain way to open a pack of cigarette. Anyway, she took one cigarette out and lit it. The first puff almost chocked her but she continued smoking. A strange dizziness invaded her body, but whatever it was, she liked it. It felt like being drunk. She walked more around the campus and smoked more.
The pale, full moon penetrated across the expansive sky, clarified the heart of life, and was biting primitively its own body in the acute, azure sky over the earth. A gentle breeze moved among the foliage. She wondered about the wind. She could see the movement of the branches but not the wind, just like standing next to an ocean and looking at the bubbles close to shore and thinking there must be a big body of water there.
It was five in the morning when she returned home and went to bed. That entire week, Spring break week, without her friend, Anna left home in the middle of night and went to that bar and had her delicious coffee and smoked.
To Be Continued
No comments:
Post a Comment