Odyssey... <><>4- Graduation

Blissful and terrorized, Hana crept silently to her room and closed the door. A dim pillar of light flickered through the crack of door. It looked like a column of dust. She could actually see all the very small dirt in that round light. Dizzily, she lay down and drowned herself into the very first feeling which followed by dreadful thoughts. Tomorrow she would secretly see Saeid. How long could she see him like that? She knew her parents, and even her grandparents and her uncle Nabi would never approve of him. They had always thought Saeid's family beneath them and not in the same class. His side of family were mostly merchants and hers were landowners. Even Saeid's father's business where also Saied worked, its land belonged to her grandfather and through him to uncle Nabi. She thought who created the class in their society? In the brawl of her good and bad thoughts, she fell asleep hungry, hopping to dream sweetness. Enchanting fantasy of her dream might change the culture she and everyone else lived in.

As she was slowly drifting into a heavy sleep, she felt her body shaken by a natural cause like an earthquake. She opened her eyes; it was her mother standing by her bedside and calling her:

"Won't you have dinner?"

Her mom, seemed to her, standing far, very far, somewhere in space. She thought she was dreaming. There was a mist before her eyes and she did not remember where she was. Gently she rubbed her eyes and finally she could see her mom in one piece.

"No, mom, I'm not hungry."

"Did you eat at grandma's?"

"No, yes, I... don't remember!"

"What is wrong with you? You don't act like yourself!"

"I don't know. Just leave me alone."

"What kind of talking is that?"

"Mom, please..."

"Is it for tomorrow?"

Hana suddenly jumped out of the bed. "How does she know?" She thought."

"What about tomorrow?" She said it to her mom with reservation.

"Your diploma!"

"Oh, yes, I am just nervous."

"Well, then I go with you."

"No, mom, I'm fine. I come down in a minute to have dinner."

Dallas-

Hana wishes to bring back those days only to answer her mom truthfully. Ironically she never told her mom about that day. Now that she is relieving her past, she tries not to be only a provider for her sons but also a good friend; so they can come to her for advice and talk to her without any reservation or fear. Strangely she does not know how to get out of the mother's shell and become a friend; or to be both at the same time. "You can tell me everything!" But when they do, she gets upset; and sometimes depressed. Hana realizes not only she has lost many years of her precious life for not feeling close to her parents at tender teenage years, but also she is about to ruin her sons' lives because she does not know how to gain their trust. Nonetheless, she is certain of one thing- she knows her shortcomings and mistakes. Perhaps with that understanding she can overcome the custom that fused to her entity. By relieving her past, she seeks the knowledge her parents lacked.

Tehran-

She spent the longest, sleepless night. Forcing her eyes to stay open so she could think. The dismal light of the high beam in neighbor's yard made a way into her room through the door that she was never able to close it tightly. She paced he closet- like room almost all night; and finally a dawn of rapture arrived into her every existing nerves when she saw the orange sun in fire rising. By now, she was out of her room and standing in the turn of the stairs in front of the window where she could see the neighbor's garden. It was a dawn of a new day, and perhaps a new beginning.

{}

Saeid in his room thought about every solitary day that he had lived. The room was filled with his cigarette smoke. He finished a whole pack before dawn began changing the order. Trying unsuccessfully to solace himself by forcing good thoughts into his mind, there was only one line kept echoing in his brain: "If we can't have each other, I will die!" He had never known a girl like Hana. He remembered the time that they were much younger. Then, he had never envisioned to have such a feeling for that tiny, arrogant girl. Now things were different. That tiny girl was an attractive, intelligent, and sensitive young woman, who had stolen his heart.. A spiteful exasperation trembled him and he angrily threw his fist into the air. "Why, why?" He could not be optimistic by knowing stories about the arrogance of Hana's family. His relationship with Behroz, Hana's uncle, was a different story. They had gone to same school and graduated at the same year. Besides, Hana's family could not accuse him of having feeling for another man. As his anger was increasing rapidly, he tried hard to let go of bad thoughts. "This morning I'll be alone with her. I tell her how much I love her. I know she loves me, too. They say a woman in love is capable of doing anything she wants." When the dawn forced the darkness out of his room, he shaved and went to bathroom to take his shower.

{]

To Be Continued