Dallas-
Wiping the rushing tears on her cheeks with the back of her hands, Hana remembers those tragic moments. She never had a chance to ask her dad for forgiveness, as he did before his departure. A knot in her throat reminds her that painful heedlessness. As she feels the agony of her sons for the true misfortune of having an irresponsible, unkind, and almost vicious father, she experiences even more excessive anguish for not saying a loving word to her dad at the time he needed the most. It seems though by torturing herself and conjuring up those days, she can release her captured heart from that great guilt. So she recalls life after dad's leaving.
Tehran-
In father's absence things changed rapidly. Everyone wanted to be in charge, unaware of the fact that dad was only a provider not a boss. It were the two women in the house than ran everything- one with love and care, and the other with anger of not having her rich husband and many servants around anymore. Grandpa had been a very wealthy man. But at the time of his sudden heart attack, he was completely broke. Grandma had lived a fanciful life full of jewelry and silk fabrics at the bottom of his iron chest that she had only the key to it. Hana was suspicious that she still had a lot of money hidden somewhere. Grandma thought since she was the oldest, and she was a rich shrewd at one point, she should be now in charge of this household. Hana thought that grandma was the dumbest creature in the world, who did not know anything but superficiality. She, like children, always wanted something which her mom and dad did not have the money to provide it for her. That was why there was always fight. She blamed everything on mom; and she thought it was mom that stopping dad, her son, to give and give and... Mother was busy with her everyday chores and began sewing for money. The four boys, Hana's two brothers and two uncles, thought since they were MEN, women should obey them; and Sara and Mina, Hana's sisters were too young to think of anything but their amusement.
Hana had never realized how important father's role was in their lives until that inauspicious day- a day that she found her father and then immediately lost him. A scar in Hana's heart reminded her of his warm, kind eyes. A peevish feeling moved into her mind and seemed passing into her body like some vicarious sensation. She was confused of the unnatural way that her father's eyes were piercing through her mind.
Each person in the house had his or her own way of coping this misfortune; nonetheless, for Hana was writing to Mesa, her imaginary friend, in her closet-like room. She wrote a story, a tale of that night to Mesa:
"Oh, Mesa, dear friend, why can't you be here so I can talk to you, tell you how I feel, and what I am going through? You know today is the worst day of my life. When I heard the news some days ago that father would be gone for some time. I actually was happy. I've always hated him. But you know yesterday when he left, I came to my senses. I just felt a great deal of love and respect for him that I never knew before. I am hurting so much because I know somehow I've always showed my hatred to him. I am sure he knew about it. He asked me to forgive him before he left? Can you believe that? I've been thinking about it ever since. Why did he say that; unless he knew I hated him, unless he felt that he had done something that caused me to hate him! You see, how can I live now? In a moment of a great tragedy in his life, he asked my forgiveness.
"I don't know if I should tell you what happened to him! Well, I know you won't tell anyone. I must trust you because if I keep this only to myself, it is going to chock me to death. Dad had a partner in the business they have. My naive and kind dad has trusted this man for many years. I remember mom always hated this man. She often told dad that this man was not trustworthy and honest; and she wanted dad to pull out of the business with him. Anyway, Rashed, dad's partner, has been drawing money from their joint account for many years. Now they are facing bankruptcy. Rashed is gone. No body knows where he is. He has run away with all the money; and the creditors are after my dad. He left yesterday for Tabriz, where his brother lives. He is going to hide there for awhile until things calm down. Now not only he had lost the business that he had for a long time, and was an extra income for supporting all of us besides his government job, but he is completely broke. Mom is thinking about sewing for money. You know dad's other job was in the telephone company. He took three months leave without pay. I hope they don't fire him. The problem is that mom and dad have to support grandma and her two sons, too. I don't know why! Before all these things happened, dad had promised me to send to a privet English class to learn English. I am afraid with this new situation my going to that class now is impossible. I was very much was looking forward to it. Oh, well, isn't life full of unexpected miseries? I wait for your answer every minute.
"Your friend, Hana"
Dallas-
To Be Continued
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