Dallas-
Hana can understand why her sons hate their father. What she does not understans is why she despised her father when she was a teenager. Investigating her thoughts and events of the past, she realized that her father was a kind man being victimized by the society and culture as she and other women had. Hana, whose thought proccess was older than her physical age and was beyond that tredition, had always objected her father's fanatical way of raising his children. While her father was hated by her not for any evil act but for what he thought was the proper way of raising children; Hamid, her husband is hated by her sons because he does not act like a father or take resopnsibilties like one. To Hamid, a good life means when all aspects of it suits him and his will; and the only phases of life that interst him, are the superficial and transient enjoyment like sex, must have to be violent, and forcing his want by intimidation, threat, and violence. No, Hana does not blame her sons for loathing this self- centered, selfish man, who can get away with all these hateful pretences as the head of the family- a master, who does not even work to support himself and depends on his wife's income; a devil in human shape who makes Hana's crying pen shed blood. Small jobs in America are too little for him. Perhaps he espects a job in the Congress of the United States. Until then, he can have fun by going to topless bars and use the family's earning for things that were not the goals of their leaving Iran in the painful way that they did.
Hana's double or other- self has striven from the time that she gave birth to her, to stop her of being victimized. Nevertheless, Hana knows, as frightened and hesitant as she is, that one day she will be able to give in to her double/ other-self. Whie Hamid does not know anything about his sons, or their interests, ot schools, Hana recalls her father's profound concern for all his children, particularly Hana, he called her my smart one, and the great trouble he had when she was Farhad's age, fifteen. She brings back those memories to present time and relives them in one of her hallucinatory moment.
Tehran-
Mother was crying while father was extremely sad and nervous. Sisters and grandma were crying, too. Everyone was upset and hopeless; and Hana, alone, very lonely, was lying on the bed in her closet-like room. She was crying but she did not think she was sad. She had an unknown feeling of oppression. She was dizzy while hearing voices in her ears; sounds like howl of wind among them. A sudden sorrow pinched her heart and she frowned to examine who she was sad for! Was it for mom, or dad, or herself? She just did not know. She wished to go away to a forest or somewhere far, far from there and all those people. Mother thought what would happen when father was gone! Hana felt they did not need him.
The morning after, father was gone. Mother in the kitchen wiped her eyes with her apron. Her eyes were red and feverish. Everyone was sluggish and Hana felt woeful. A heavy load of grief was breaking her irony will. However her worse feeling was for her mom.
The day before, father had asked Hana to forgive him. "Does he know that I hate him?" She ran hastily up to her room and threw herself on the bed, sobbing. She could not help the deep feeling of love was entering her heart, a late blooming love for dad. Father called her: "Hana, Hana," She did not answer. Then she heard his heavy footstep. He entered her room, stood there vacant and hesitant; and then walked to her bed and hugged her as tightly as he could while crying. She had never seen her father cry.
"Take care of yourself." He babbled and then left the room. House seemed empty and everyone looked unfeeling. Hana was numb and motionless. Mother in the kitchen was preparing breakfast for the big crowd while trying to hide her deepest sorrow from others. Hana wished father come back home in the evening from work as usual and make mother and her happy; but she knew he would not come back. She did not understand why! All she knew, was that she could not help this great, immeasurable love for dad that was growing in her
Dallas-
To Be Continued
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