After all these years, Hana still postpones taking charge of her life. She thinks when the day of action comes, her double wins her over and she can do something about this wretched life her sons and she live. Despondently, she assumes that the day of taking control will never appears to her sight without the help of her double. The anxiety and fear of her own thought shivers her; and the concept of living this life for ever frightens her.
As her sons are getting ready for their finals, she tries to provide a peaceful ambiance for them, as her parents did for her many years ago. Strangely they do not have much of studying or homework, as she did in Iran in their ages. To her frenzied insistence, her sons tell her that they study at school. Not being able to believe them, she calls their schools for a meeting with their teachers. The teachers of both schools confirm her sons' true remarks.
"We give our students time to do their homework at school."
Hana is not sure which system is better, here or there in Iran. One thing she knows well; it is not up to her. She conjures up her hard work and days and nights of studying.
Tehran-
With all the fear that Hana had had, she passed the final exams successfully. Her endeavor, staying awake, and studying thousands of pages of text books over and over should finally come to a sweet result in a week when she would get her diploma, a piece of paper for twelve years of her life. The night before achieving that great success, her friends in the Secret Society noticed her nervousness.
"What is wrong, Hana?" Safa, one of the member asked her.
"I have to go to The Ministery Of Education tomorrow to get my diploma. I am scared."
"Why are you scared? You're an excellent student." Saeid said gently.
"I don't think I did as good as I used to."
"You always say that. Why do you want to be number one all the time?" Behroz, her uncle, annoyed, said.
"I don't know; I guess I don't want to disappoint mom and dad."
"Don't worry! I bet you'll do great tomorrow." Saeid's gentle voice gave her an easy feeling. She smiled for the first time that day.
When at seven she was ready to leave, Saeid got up, too.
"Where are you going so early?" Behroz asked him.
"We have company tonight. My sister and her children are visiting. I haven't seen them for awhile."
Behroz gave a knowing glance at him; as though he could read his mind. A transient warmth slid into every veins of Hana. Was Saeid's reason for leaving early only a story? "He wants to talk to me." She ran down stairs and was about to leave when her grandma in the kitchen took a glimpse of her.
"Why are you running? What is the rush?"
"Nothing, I just want to go home and ..." Suddenly she saw Saied was going out. Completely confused, she said: "Grandma, I have to go."
She closed the door behind her with force. In the alley she looked around to see Saeid. For a moment she went blank by disappointment. A bleak emptiness filled her heart. But when she saw the slender shadow of him behind a tree, she breathed a long sigh.
They began walking in silence. Hana's home was just a few blocks away, not enough distance to talk and discover all those hidden glances and palpitations of heart in each other's company. He finally began the conversation:
"Would you like me to go with you tomorrow to get your diploma?"
She blushed while lowering her head as though she wanted to learn mystery of the earth.
"I love that."
"What time?"
"Ten o'clock,"
"Where do you want us to see each other?"
"At T. Square,"
"All right,"
"Tomorrow!"
"Tomorrow,"
He walked ahead of her and disappeared.
Dallas-
Dating, Hana thinks, is American way for young men and women to meet and get to know each other before marriage. "What a beautiful custom!" Back home, especially the days that she had no control over her feelings for Saeid, what seems so normal in America, was an evil act in Iran. Dating was not accepted by neither families nor society and religion. Girls married men their families had chosen for them with closed eyes. Sometimes it worked out and they fell in love later; nonetheless, mostly it did not; and those women and even men lived a life of misery and endurance beyond belief. Should the old fashioned fathers found out their daughters secret dating or meeting a man, not only they would become outrage, occasionally they went for a quick decision and found a husband for their daughters to end a shame that had never existed. When Hana recalls how daring she was to see Saeid, a pale smile blossoms on her lips. She introspects more of those days.
Tehran-
"How come you're home early?" Saeid's mother asked him.
"I'm tired." He hastily answered his mother and went to his room. There, he sat on his bed and gazed into space, completely motionless. He was drowned in so many unresolved emotions and thoughts that he did not know which one he would solve first. Only one word echoed in his head, "LOVE". He sighed in despair. He knew Hana's family never liked his; even though they had been neighbors forever; and he had been Behroz's friend since childhood and they even went to the same school and graduated at the same year. He damned his luck. "Her parents will never allow her to marry me!" A coquettish glimmer of sunset forced itself through the crevice of the cotton curtain. He stared at the gleam that gradually faded away. It was a dark night; and he felt that obscurity in his entire body and soul.
{][}
To Be Continued
No comments:
Post a Comment