For Hana time after Hamid's death is withering and useless, but for me is like a fresh flower with delicious aroma and delightful beauty . I find it unacceptable to mourn and feel sorry; she finds grieving an inseparable part of her existence. Our conflicts cause a clashing brawl between us. Both of our minds live in past; however, for her is only to torture herself and for me is to use those memories to be aware of present. She is beyond dispute and to reach her takes a great effort which I am tired of it. Now in freedom of all chains and ties, she still watches her back, checks her car thoroughly, as she did in fear of Hamid's vandalism, and refuses to make friends or go out. And here I am, attached to her, a victim. who wants fairness and can not get it only because we are connected. She thinks I am part of her, or she is my creator; nevertheless, I wish the situation has been the other way around.
After a long discussion, she finally agrees to take the English course in writing she has always wanted. For me this is the first positive step. Just to get her out of home besides her job has been a great challenge for me. Very soon, when she is accepted as a smart student, as she had always been, the missing smile returns to her face. As usual she takes college seriously; and my argument to make her understand that her going to college must be fun, too, is useless.
Now between work in day time and college in the evening, Hana does not have much time for hallucination. She studies so hard as though she is working for PhD. Going to college gives her an unusual sense as though she is born again. Lila's argument to live a different kind of life in this new birth makes her to think for the first time, and she accepts the invitation of one of her fellow students to go to her birthday part on Saturday evening.
Being a punctual person, Hana parks her car a couple of blocks away from Valery's home since she gets there ten minutes before eight. One minute before eight, the appointed time, she drives her car and parks in front of Valery's apartment, but she does not see any other car. Confused, yet excited, she rings the bell and an unfamiliar young woman opens the door. Hana introduced herself and handed the woman the gift she has brought. She goes inside to find out she is the first guest; and Valery, herself, is not ready yet. Ashamed and upset, she sits on a chair as though she is there to discuss some important issue. Valery's guests gradually show off around nine. Even though most of them treat her with kindness, she feels so out of place that in total disorientation she thinks about leaving. However the thought of saying goodbye and coming with an excuse stops her for awhile. She is bewildered by this strange culture she has lived in for the last ten years and never knew it this way. Mostly unmarried men and women are together as couples. They talk, laugh, drink, and hug. Valery is with her new boyfriend while her old boyfriend is also there with his new girlfriend. It is a strange atmosphere for Hana and when finally she decides to leave, a man about fifty approaches her.
To Be Continued
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