"How can you do this? We don't know her!"
Farhad gives a dirty look to his mother and says:
"Stop being so suspicious to everyone. She is not that kind of girl."
Very soon, Karen moves in officially. She, who had said she lived with her father, says:
"My father is transferred. I have no place to live."
Hana's soft heart aches for this fragile girl, whom her mother ran away with another woman when she was a only six years old, and her father did not care much for her according to what she had told them about her life. While Hana makes herself to believe that she has a daughter now, at night when she hears the squeaky sound of the bed next door, an afflicted hesitation changes her mind. Between work and college, Hana does not have much time to cook as before; and when one day she hears Karen's unbecoming compliant, she is quietly outraged.
"You don't cook any more. I'm tired of eating this ready made food of yours." Karen says.
Even Farhad shakes up by his girlfriend's comment.
That night, in her room, Hana brings Lila, her other self, to life with difficulty; and for the first time in a long while, asks her advice. Lila rebukes her, as it is her way, and then says:
"You never change. You always let people abuse you. What is it with you? Why are you afraid? What are you afraid of? Why did you let this rude girl move in with you in the first place?"
"I don't know. I guess I didn't want to make Farhad mad at me. I was afraid he might leave me and never come back."
Lila puts her hands at her waist, a gesture Hana always hated, and says:
"Oh, God, you're so simple, so naive. You think if you don't people run all over you, they won't like you anymore or they leave you? How stupid you are!"
"But we're not talking about any people; we're talking about my son." Hana desperately says.
"I know who you're talking about. But let me tell you something; if you don't respect yourself, nobody will. Farhad is not going to leave you. He may get mad, or raise his voice, but your proper action will make him, he won't admit it to you but he will to himself, that you're right."
"What you're telling me is to tell Karen to leave and if Farhad threatens that he is going to leave, too, I say fine. Is that what you want me to do?"
Lila laughs hysterically and says:
"Yes, now you're talking. He'll threaten you for leaving, but he won't. He can't even do his own laundry. You've raised your kids in a way that they depend on you for everything. They can't function without you; and like everybody else they use you."
Hana becomes angry.
"That is not true. Look at Sam. He is God knows where in army for his basic training without me being around. What do you think of that?"
"I have an answer for you which is going to blow up your mind. It wasn't you that raised Sam, it was me. He has my character not yours. That is why he moved away; that is why he'll become somebody. But look at Farhad. You raised him and pampered him so much that he knows he can get away with everything."
Lila's statement almost explodes Hana.
"That is not true. I've always thought that Sam is just like me. He..."
Lila interrupts her: "Maybe part of him is like you; but not the part that wants to be independent and to get away from all these chaos. He respects you so much that he didn't want you to work harder to put him through college; and that is why he joined army, something that you didn't want, I might add. Remember how much you tried to stop him!"
Hana desperately comes to realization that Lila is right. That entire night with open eyes and weary mind, she ponders over the abyss that she is drowning in it. She perceives in desperation that all her life she has let everyone to use her only because she has been afraid losing them or creating turmoil. Nevertheless, her entire life has been chaos and she has almost lost everything and everyone.
She decides for the first time to listen to Lila and ask Karen to leave the next day. Meanwhile, she pictures their discussion and Farhad's angry reaction. In her anxious mind, she pictures scenes of her strength, when she shows her son and his girlfriend how adamant she is and who the boss is in that house. When she finally falls asleep at five in the morning, she knows what she will do that day.
To Be Continued
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