Odyssey... {~} 20- Abandonment

The only thing that saved Gol for a while was her grandsons. She was responsible for them while their mother was in hiding. When they asked for their mother, she told them that she was transferred to another city and next school year they would join her. They angrily objected that and wanted to stay with their grandmother. Gol promised them that she would go with them.

"Mama Gol, we want to be with you." Farhad, ten, and Sam, six, would tell her.

"I'll go with you, promise." Gol kindly would lie to them.

However that promise would not stop the boys' growing anger towards their mother, who had left them without saying goodbye.

Hamid's persistence to know of Hana's hiding place did not make things easier for Gol, for she did not know herself; nonetheless, she did not tell Hamid that her brother, Nabi, was involved in hiding Hana. Once a week Gol went to a far relative home, an old aunt, where and when Hana called her, so mother and daughter could talk. Hana wanted desperately to talk to her children but uncle Nabi thought that would not be a good idea.

In their conversation, Gol and Hana talked in a way as nothing had happened. Gol felt her daughter's greatest regret and her missing home. Hana sensed that the only thing keeping her mother from another breakdown was the responsibility she had for her children. Hana, who had mothered her mom in crises, now needed Gol, her soft, warm, and loving shoulders more than ever; but how could she tell her mom of her weakness, breakage, and misery? She had to be strong as always; and needed to find a way to fix things. Never in her life she felt that forlorn and deserted.

Living in abandonment had one positive point for her, thinking about her life and the situation in the country. A day came that she confessed secretly to herself that she had been wrong and politics was more complicated than what she anticipated. Walking, reading, and listening to the foreign radio station on the short wave radio filled her days. However, it was that beautiful nature surrounding that house that gave her peace with a little hope. The garden was decorated by whipping willows and there was a path from the front porch of the house all the way around the garden which was decorated with colorful, four season flowers in that snowy and rainy weather. When she gradually gained her courage back, she would walk further and would leave uncle Nabi's property, where the sky and earth would join and the silence of nature was only being interrupted by occasional rain or light snow. There, she would walk and breathe the clean air while investigating her life.

Ziba, uncle Nabi's temporary wife, was a young, uneducated woman, Hana's age. As reluctant as Hana had been at the beginning to stay with her, she found out very soon of Ziba's innocent personality. She had a little boy, five years old, a cute boy, who looked so much like uncle Nabi. Hana was surprised to know that unknown cousin. While his half brothers and sisters lived in luxury without shame, that little boy had to hide his identity forever. To him, his father was dead, and this man, who came once a week and slept with his mother, was just their benefactor. Mehran was a little younger than Sam; and Hana who missed her sons terribly, made a strong bonding with her newly found cousin. Ziba, who had never lost her identity, being an indigent woman, and had worked in people house to survive, did not mind this arrangement at all. Now, she had a life, a place to live, a child, and a man who was taking care of her as long as she did not say anything about this, and stayed out of sight. She loved Nabi in a true sense of loving a man and Hana, very soon, found out that her uncle loved her, too.

To Be Continued