While Hana was carried away by her enterprise to open as many eyes as she could, she was blind herself to realize that politics had always been a dirty task that a small voice like hers could not change it or influence it for better. Her vehement passion to be a pioneer in women's movement impulsively stupefied her family, especially her mother. Hana, who was so vulnerable and weak in her own affairs and personal relationship, became a strong, unbeatable voice among oppositions by lecturing, passing flyer, and demanding fearlessly the two regimes, one about to die and the other close to victory, leave Iranian people in peace so they could elect a government by and for the people. Her impassioned demeanor frightened everyone in her family; and they picked Behroz, her favorite uncle, to talk to her.
In their conversation, Hana called Behroz a cowardly, timorous, and feeble individual. Behroz's reasoning was not good enough for her. He could not possibly divert her opinion that the newcomers were even more vicious than Savak, who had executed her brother, Van. He reminded her of their friendship, of their secrets together to soften her adamant behavior but to no avail. Reporting to her sister, Behroz told Gol that he was not capable of changing Hana. Gol was paralyzed. If Behroz could not convince Hana, no one could. So she waited for another shock in her family which later would bring her to another mental collapse.
While Hana's ventures were about to cost her job and freedom, Hamid calmly moved as wind and went along with whomever had the power. That gave him a sense of importance that had taken away from him since childhood. In his blindness and selfishness, he could not see that his wife was drowning into an abyss of falsity. He did not even know what Hana was doing as long as her paycheck was on time. Since they have closed all the liquor stores, now he had set up a pressure cooker with some other equipment to make his own vodka at home against Gols' objection. He did not show any more respect for Gol as he had done at the beginning.
When a day came, to be exact, December of 1978, that Hana's paycheck was not given to her, She went to the office of Mrs, T., the manager of the fiscal affairs of the college she was teaching. In respond to her startling objection, Mrs. T. told her that she had nothing to do with that and the Ministry of Education was holding her check. Hana compassionately argued with her about right and wrong and told her that she was a weak person ; and her job was to defend teachers and staff.
"Listen Hana, I know you're the best teacher here and work very hard; but if you want your check to support your family, you must give up these activities. Everybody knows about it. I'm telling you the situation is very bad. The Shah is leaving and Khomeini is coming from Paris. These newcomers are worse than the Shah. You must be careful. Personally I like you a lot." Mrs. T. said what she really felt.
"So you agree with corruption. Don't I have the responsibility to open my students' eyes?"
"Listen honey, We don't live in America. I know you're right, but I'm close to my retirement and am not going to jeopardize all these years of working, you shouldn't either."
Hana looked at her puzzled and she could not understand why Mrs T. was so timorous; however, the thought of not having her check was very shocking to her. How could she feed her family without money while everything was outrageously expensive and the smugglers of food were taking advantage of the chaotic situation? On the other hand, giving up her belief for her check was like living without soul. Ironically, a part of her had lived without a soul since she had married Hamid. With hesitation, she asked Mrs. T.:
"What can I do?"
"I hope it's not too late. The assistant district manager wants to see you in his office tomorrow."
"Do you mean Mr. S.?
"No, Mr. S. is not there anymore. There is this new guy I haven't met yet; and please wear a kerchief on your hair and a loose, long coat."
To Be Continued
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