"No, but she is not all together again; like the way after what happened to Van."
"Come on uncle Nabi, she is insane again!" She was desperate.
"Yes, she is insane again, worse than before. She had to be watched at all times. That left us no choice but to put her in hospital. In the last two weeks, my mother is taking care of your kids."
The three months of abandonment because of her stupid, yet righteous act for educating her students that had cost her job, perhaps her sister's incurable disease, and above all her mom's repeated insanity. How could she forgive herself for that morbid personality she was bound to carry forever? Everything she touched, became ash and stone; and every action she took, resulted disastrous, monstrous, and unnatural. How could she even be a good mother while she did not know good from bad herself?
At home, her sons' aloof behavior, as though they did not know who she was, did not surprise her. She had never been able to win them over; and now she was the cause of their favorite grandmother's insanity. The entire city looked different and strange to her. Now that the new regime was officially ruling, all women were wearing either kerchief down to to their forehead with long, loose clothes, or chador (a long piece of fabric from head to toe, normally black color). The instability, anger, and frustration of people were increased tremendously; and she, who had lived in a distant paradise for the last three months, had not been there to see how the history had changed, and how to get accustomed to changes as others did gradually.
After visiting with her unfriendly sons and concerned grandmother, uncle Nabi took her to the hospital where her mother in one section and her sister in another section were fighting their relentless, excruciating, and loathsome gnawing.
Gol even did not recognize her. Hana, haunted by horrified vision, held her mom's hand; but Gol surprisingly pulled her hand away from her and began laughing at her. She had lost so much weight that to Hana, she looked like a ghost. Hana's tearless eyes reminded her of a day, in the doctor's office, when her mother and she had been told of her father's terminal cancer. She had not been able to cry that day as she was not today.
In her sister's room, the situation was different. Sara had no attack that day which made her look normal. Her husband, Hasan, was there, too. They were keeping her in the hospital to determine what the cause of her attacks were. Hasan's mother, at home, was taking care of their little girl. They both gave Hana not a welcoming look; and their cold, indifferent attitude proved even more to Hana of them blaming her for everything.
That evening at home, Hamid attended the homecoming of his wife. Mina and Boby and their families were there. Even though Hana did not feel socializing, she pretended she did. Late that night in their bedroom, Hamid questioned her roughly of her hiding place and Hana bluntly said:
"I can't tell you." She had promised her uncle and there was no way she would break her vow.
Angry Hamid accused her of so many loathsome disgrace that Hana felt to run away from that house and disappear forever. When finally the vulgar, exasperated Hamid got tired of screaming without getting any response, he forcefully and violently assaulted her. She did not cry of pain, as she always did, since a greater bitterness had already filled her with pain and agony. She just wanted to have that sick sex over with.
To Be continued
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