Odyssey... 23- Deprived Memories

The purest flower nature had offered was to be thorny. The shinning glow of freedom in West, as Hana perceived and longed for, turned to be a different kind of slavery; since her fortune had been destined in a way that she had no way out of it. When they arrived in Dallas with empty pocket book and exhausted minds, Hana, almost thirty four, Hamid, forty, Farhad twelve, and Sam, eight, had different goals in their minds. Hamid thought of freedom that would allow him to buy liquor not making it, and to experience an immoral life as before, western style. Farhad's attention was all for fabulous television programs of America; nonetheless, he missed his grandma terribly, and he did not trust his father particularly and his mother somewhat. For Sam, it was strange. He did not want to be there. He did not understand the language, yet he would be the first to learn it and Americanize. For Hana was a long list of dreams; learning English, even though she was fairly good at it, good life, a moderate home, and above all to make it here with her family. She felt not being under political pressure and Persian style of family life, she could change Hamid to a decent husband and father. Wrong!

The early years were hard, so very hard that sometimes Hana wished her cursed homeland. Hamid did not even try to learn English. To him. that was the language of barbarians; however, he was able to manage to buy his liquor and learn about all places for immoral conducts. He never worked. One thing worked in their benefit and that was their smuggling. That helped with their immigration statues. With many people who spent thousands of dollars to get green cards, the cards came to them. Their smuggling and Hana's political activities in Iran enabled their lawyer to get them green cards as political asylums.

Dallas-

Today, ten years from the danger she put herself and her family through, she is alone, as she has always been. Her sons are not babies anymore. They have turned to be strong men and live their own lives. The reason they are still living with their mother is for her support, not for supporting her and she knows it. Farhad's girlfriend, is mostly there. She eats with them, uses them, and sleeps over frequently. Farhad shamelessly has her to sleep with him in front of his mother and brother. Hana rejects that in her speaking mind but she is never able to tell her son to stop that obscene act. She is afraid he may leave her. At night in her bedroom, Hana hears the squeaky sound of the bed, next door, where her son having sex with his girlfriend. The nights that karen stays over, Sam uses the sofa as bed since he does not want to sleep in a same room with his brother. Hana offers her bedroom to Sam, but he refuses.

Whereas Farhad, Sam is quiet. It has been so hard for Hana to know how her younger son feels or thinks. When May comes and he graduates from high school, he simply says to his mother:

"Mom, I am joining the army."

Hana can not believe what she hears, but Sam's stern look makes her wonder what she has done wrong.

"But why? Please don't do this to me. Let's talk..."

Sam interrupts his mother impatiently:

"Mom, I knew you're going to object this; but this is a done deal. I've already gone to the recruiting office in Dallas and applied. I've done all my physical and I've even taken series of tests. They're doing some background check on me now. Hopefully I hear from them soon."

Hana, shocked, says in a voice barely audible:

"But why? How did you learn about them?"

"Through school; they brought their brochures to school way back."

"Listen honey, don't do this. I want you to go to college and become somebody."

"Mom, that is the point. I'll go to college. They pay for most of my college. Then you don't have to work so hard to pay for my school."

"I don't mind to work hard. I get a second job. I don't mind it at all. Please don't do this to me. I am not against military. I just don't like you be away from me."

While begging her son, she realizes how much Sam is like her. His courage, determination, and attitude are what she had in his age. She remembers the days she hated her father, was annoyed by her mother's over protecting position, and wanted to run away.

"Is it me you can't stand, sweet heart?" She wishes for a no answer.

"No, mom, it has nothing to do with you. I want to be alone, to get away. I must do this. I'm confused."

Hana understands him while she can not imagine her son in army.

"I understand, honey. You have my support and love whatever you want to do."

To Be Continued