Hamid, being angry at her growing body, mocked her repeatedly and called her ugly among other names. Her reason, of course was not good enough. Hana, who knew woman's body would change during pregnancy, began feeling guilty and submitted herself to Hamid's punishment, which was violent sex, abuse, and excuse to do his sick habit to her without considering the consequences. Pain of her lower back, bleeding, and constant heartburn caused her almost a mental and physical breakdown. Hana, who needed her mother's gentle advice, touch, and love, was not sure if her baby would be born healthy. Hamid had threatened her that if she spoke one word about what was happening in their bedroom to her doctor, he would burn the house down. The horrible sensation that her baby might not be healthy, filled the rest of her pregnancy. A few times she was tempted to talk to her aunt about her situation and to ask her advice; but when she realized that her aunt most definitely would tell her uncle Nabi about it, she changed her mind. Those days in her country, doctors did not have the equipments to know about the health or the sex of the baby. All they did, was to listen to the heartbeat of the baby and asked some questions from the mother; which in Hana's case, she never said a word about the abuse she tolerated from Hamid. She forced herself to get up every morning, go to work, go to college after work, return home, and cook and clean. Boby, her brother was a great help. Every morning Hana would give him a grocery list and money so he could shop after school. Refrigerators were new then in her country, and they could not afford to buy one; therefore they had to buy grocery everyday. Her sister Sara, stayed the way she had always been, a heedless user, who spent hours in front of mirror, and her younger sister, Mina, continued to help while becoming closer to Hana and further from Sara. Gol, her mother, roamed the rooms with an uncombed hair and unpleasant appearance all day. Grandma came and stayed with Gol, her daughter, most days; however Gol would not settle down until Hana would come home, as though her vague ambiguity and pain would end when her oldest child returned.
In a cold winter day, when an unbearable pain struck her while she was teaching, some of her students helped her to the office. There, the principal asked her about how far apart the pain was. Hana, who did not believe it was time, was horrified. However pain did not return for half an hour. She refused help from all the teachers and principal to take her home; and left school on her own. Another pain paralyzed her while opening the door of the house; but she managed to go inside to face the worst shock in her life. What she had expected to see at home was her mother's roaming and perhaps Hamid being still in bed. But in her room, she found Sara, her sister, in bed with Hamid. She stood there almost unconscious, twisting in pain, and in total disbelief. No word would come out from her mouth in that stage of shock. She watched them kissing and fondling; however, fully dressed. They were so involved in their sick act that did not even noticed Hana. Suddenly Hamid caught a glimpse of her standing on the doorway. The electric encounter of their eyes trembled her; and she ran to the hallway. Before getting to her mother's room, she felt discharge of a fluid on her legs, as though a big body of warm water was just released magically. With extreme confusion, she looked at the water combined with blood running down her legs, and dirtying the floor. By the time she reached the telephone, Hamid was there, too; and Sara was quietly disappearing of shame to mom's room. Her mother was standing there and staring at her through her insane eyes.
After finishing her conversation with the doctor, she ran to the street while Hamid was following her. When a taxi finally stopped, she threw herself in it and Hamid got in from the other side. With a voice that was barely audible, she said to the driver:
"Mehr Hospital. Please hurry."
The driver looked at her and smiled: "Is it time?"
To Be Continued
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