Odyssey...=+= 10- Monster

In the next twenty days Hana did all her everyday, normal routine. There was only one change in every one's life- no one talked to Hana because she did not talk to anyone. Every afternoon, at the end of work day, she would ride a bus to go to college. She secretly saw Hamid almost everyday. He, who looked frustrated, would repeatedly bring up the unsolved question, when? Hana, who had no true answer for that question, would say, soon. The twenty minuets ride to college would spend in silence most of the time. In one occasion, Hamid tried to touch her leg in the bus, and she stopped him at once.

"What is it? Don't you love me anymore?"

"Of course, I do. It's just not right."

Hana, who had tried to rise above the custom of a country in which women were oppressed, was not sure if that statement was a true one. She had always thought if two people loved each other truly, they did not need the holy words of a Molla (Muslim Priest) for marriage. They could be joined in marriage away and far from law and religion and say those holy words under the canopy of sky to each other. They could be together faithfully with honor, respect, and loyalty which are the requirement of any healthy marriage without going through the ceremony conducted by a charlatan. When she objected Hamid's touch, did it mean before marriage! If her perspective of marriage had passed above the standard of the society, why she did not want him to touch her? Did she believe what she preached? Or perhaps she knew what she stood for was right but she did not believe Hamid was the right person for her! Perhaps she had come to understanding that her family was right! If that was the case, why did she want to marry him so badly that no one, not even her grandfather and Behroz were able to change her mind?! Did she spitefully want to ruin her life and be wretched only to prove to her family that she was against their culture and she was free to do whatever she wanted to do!? Therefore, her intention had to be going against the crowd! Was that not a childish and dangerous game only to prove to her family that they could not run her life any more?! Could she not think of something smarter so it would not ruin her entire future?

It took her twenty days to explore her true feelings after the chaotic argument with her family. She finally came to resolution that her family was right; and Hamid was a user, even worse than that, an abuser and charlatan. His eyes were not the eyes of a normal man but a sociopath. Why didn't he ever talk about his family or where he live? Remembering his insistence for living in Hana's home after marriage, despondently trembled her. Discovering that shocking truth, her family known it and she had not, shuddered her. She finally came to realization that one's elders were always had more experience; even though she had more education.

She was not sure how to break the news to Hamid and then to her family. She could hear the ring of so many inquisitive voices in her ears: "We told you so. We told you he is a user." If just her family would not say those words to her! Imagining herself at home or at her grandparents', she could see her family's derisive smile; and she could hear more of those hammering words: "We told you, we told you..." Depressed and angry at herself, she felt as though that mistake was not a forgiven one. She understood no matter what, she would always live with that indelible guilt. Pondering over a solution, she decided to tell Hamid first.

Dallas-

To Be Continued