Inside the room, the curtains are drawn and in the unseasonable darkness, Hana is sitting on the floor with knees touching her chin. In that dim ambiance, she ponders for a new, necessary expense which she does not have any resource for it. Farhad will begin College in fall; and Hamid refuses to get a job to help his family. While her son is investigating different schools, Hana remembers that not only she had to put herself through college, she was also the main provider for her entire family. Even though she has seen many students in America who work and go to college, too, she feels her children need only to concentrate on their education. She wants to give them an easy life to make up for many other things they have missed, like a normal father. When she brought them to this world and held them for the first time and saw their vulnerability, she promised herself and them not to let them suffer. Those newly born babies could not possibly understand what their mother told them at the time of their birth; nonetheless, Hana believed that they did! How could she have children from a man like Hamid? Many people have asked her that question. It was her strong desire for motherhood that made her to have children! Since she had complied to that great desire of many women, even though in her situation they were terrible mistakes, she must carry those loads to the end of the road. The only lives they have to live should be easy and tranquil compare to her life which has been cursed even before she was born. For Frahad and Sam, she had accomplished the "easy" part she had promised them at the time of their birth; but she has never been able to achieve the "tranquil" part of it for them because Hamid was not only an evil husband, he was also a terrible father. Her submission for the nihilistic ingratitude towards the entire existence brings her a silent throbbing; and while she clenches her teeth for the lifeless living she must endure, her body matures with the last gleam of the day light. She suddenly bethinks the sun rays she can never reach, glassy solitude she may break, and the frosty winter path she desperately misses.
*
In our home's entrance, in the open space,
A girl is sitting, light glows on her face.
Days after days, nights after nights, for you and I,
She opens the door for night to pass by.
Provoked by her soul, veins of her sound
Never open a laughter ever profound.
*
Waiting the visions of past to slip away, she remembers even more of days gone.
Tehran-
To Be Continued
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