That night, not knowing her true feeling and being caught in a total purgatory, Hana called Behroz, as soon as she got home.
"I need to see you tonight."
Behroz, who had never questioned Hana's unpredictable calls or visits, said:
"All right, where? Do you want to come here or you want me to come there?"
"You come here and the we go out for a walk."
They walked in the narrow street side by side without speaking. Behroz, knowing well her niece more than anyone else in the family, guessed her dilemma. In fact, he had been waiting for this call since the beginning of Hana's and Hamid's friendship; and all the opposition from their entire family. He had never seen Hamid personally; however from what Hana told him, he felt he knew this young man. Hana had discussed the whole matter with him. The only thing that she had not told Behroz was her ambiguity and doubtfulness. He somehow was suspicious that Hana's strange behavior not only was self destructive but also was something hasty and perhaps out of gratitude to Hamid's uncle help for Van's case. Oh, how well Behroz knew her. Ironically, for the past month, he was suspicious of her impetuous confusion.
On the other hand, Hana, who did not know how to start the conversation, was trying to organize her thoughts. Her disorientation was obvious and anyone could tell that she was very close to a nervous breakdown. In a little over than a year, she had faced the death of her young father, her mother's nervous breakdown, had discovered Van's political activity and then his capture by Savak, had worked to provide for her big family, gone to college, and meantime had met Hamid. Behroz did not know how the book worm, spoiled Hana, that everything was always provided for her, had changed this way and so suddenly. His best guess was if the family left her alone, she, on her own, would leave Hamid. But since everybody was telling her that she could not marry Hamid, she felt entitled to do what ever she wanted for becoming practically the dad of the house overnight. Behroz respected her a lot. He had never imagined that the same Hana of two year ago could become like this!
He could not stand to see her, his favorite niece and friend in that despondent stage. He gently grabbed her arm, who was one step ahead of him and brought her to a stop; now they were face to face. He looked at her feverish eyes and pale face. He noticed for the first time that how much weight she had lost. While Hana was trying to release her hand from his, he continued holding that delicate and small hand, again he noticed it for the first time, and slowly softened her stubborn, one of the traits in their family, uproarious soul with his deep and sharp eyes. The ambiance brought her to tears while she was hanging to him. He as usual let her cry on his shoulder. When her tears dried out and there were no more tears to shed; and her emotions somehow stabilized, she told him of what he did not know- her confusion, her decision, her promise to Hamid; and finally about the event earlier that evening in the campus of the college. She did not left out anything. Now Behroz was the only person that knew everything. He listened patiently. One thing that was missing in all the things she told him, was if she loved Hamid. He remembered how she was for Saeid. He knew her. What he gathered from all the things she told him that in all of this, there was no love involved. He knew love. He still loved Lida, after all these years; and even though she was married.
Eventually, they found themselves in a small cafe in T. Square. Behroz ordered her a cup of espresso coffee with some brandy in it. He drank vodka straight up. That was how Iranian men drank; It was mostly because of the influence of Russia being a neighbor in North, and and occupier in one of the big wars.
The taste of alcohol brought a furrow on Hana's forehead, and she coughed. Looking at her amiable uncle across from her, the effect of brandy, and the bitterness of the strong espresso coffee, finally caused her to laugh, a real laughter, something she had forgotten for a long time. She laughed, and then cried and coughed. She moved her arms while talking in a way that Behroz had never seen. It reminded him of the Italian movies that he liked so much that the art of gesticulation was one of the things that made those movies so memorable. Behroz laughed with her while drinking his vodka. If people there did not know Behroz, they perhaps assumed they were lovers. Soon, there was a second drink for Hana and another shot of Vodka for Behroz. Drinking gave them an ardent joy which caused them both to forget the reason for their meeting. They stayed in that little cafe unaware of time until the familiar waiter told them that they are closing. They laughed even more to unchain the hidden desires while their sorrow and confusion strove to return to the surface, where they have always been.
Going back home, three in the morning, Hana hysterically laughed more when Behroz asked her what she was going to tell her mom. Her laughter soon mixed with a roaring cry; and in a stage of ruination and madness, she screamed:
"You didn't help me tonight with my problem; instead I had so much fun with you. I got drunk for the first time; and mom will relentlessly put me on stake tonight or tomorrow. But you know what, I don't care." She hiccuped a few times before finishing.
Behroz screamed even louder:
Okay, let me help you. Marry Hamid, don't marry Hamind, marry..."
"So what do I do?" She was still laughing, but this time her laughter was so emotional that one could tell it was a hysterical cry.
"Let me think, marry, not... You will marry him... what is the sense of my talking. You've already made of your mind."
"I know I marry him..., because if I don't,...he kill himself. We'll get engaged ...on my birthday."
"Do you really believe he'll kill himself...?"
"He said so!"
"So you have made up your mind to believe him. Congratulation! May I be the first?"
Behroz laughter was becoming more like a squeaky noise than a normal laugh; that was how appeared to Hana. She did not know he was crying.
To Be continued
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