Thirty Two, Ruination

Disappointment, what an unearthly word!
It brings not only bitterness, but also encouragement.
The ruination ruined for awhile.
But she is healed now to take on power.
She talked when she was solid as the earth.
She acted when the thunders ruined all.
*
The happy, bitter, infuriated, and wavering people, a candle that flickered for a moment, the bloody ruination of everything, the artificial, irrational, and continuous revolution and revelation, the collapse of monarchy, the exasperated, abject, adverse, and unwholesome patriotism; and the prolonged sadness combined with the endeavor of the revolutionists who were anti the Shah, anti Americans; and their words, their bleeding along with an incapability to do decisive and crucial things were all there and new for Anna; but not the unwavering and inevitable rhythm that was imperative.
Everything was new for Anna. She had never known revolution, war, killing one another for power; and she was certain that all were new for the majority of Persian people in Iran or abroad. Nevertheless, this game of power, perhaps was joyous for many who were to gain some kind of economical or political advantage. She, being back in Dallas, heard the news in American television and read it in American newspapers. To her, the whole cataclysm was not only a destruction of everything and brought hate, but they were also shame and embarrassment- a disgrace for the unjustness and mindlessness of the Shah, and an abashment for the unfounded, groundless newcomers; and the way they were brainwashing people especially the youths of the country even against their own parents and families.
Except death, nothing is inevitable. The Revolution was not avoidable. Many things like disproportion, prejudice, starvation, insolvency, manipulation, and unemployment are solved in different ways in various countries in the century we live. In the twentieth century that Anna was born, these miseries were about to unravel in a cruel way, a ruination.
For her, at this point of her life, there were no thoughts or feelings, good or bad. She knew that her thoughts and feeling would always be just thoughts and feelings; and if she felt good, it meant the absence of her hateful thoughts, and she felt depressed, it meant the deficiency of any good deed; however, none of them really existed. They were all like a myth, a changeable thought or feeling. They were all like games which without them her life would be dull and empty. All the symbols that came with her moods, like laughter, tear, bliss, torment, and sadness were like a dream that was essential to her life. However, at this point of her life, being far from the events and in a safe haven, all she had left from that Aristotelian terror and bliss was only terror. She was terrorized for the safety of her parents and for the future of her innate land, a land that had faced many upheavals during of three thousand years of written history and a lot more of unwritten one.
Her father's words flew like a river in her mind and took her along. "If you love us, you'll go back." She remembered her last minutes in Iran, at the airport, and in the arms of her parents. Was that the very last she would see her native land? Shahzdeh, Fatie, and Reza the driver, and even Dr. Hamid, her cousin were there to say good-bye to her. Oh, how difficult it was to say good-bye! Isn't it always easier to say hello? Oh, how horrifying it was to leave those she loved! would she be able to see them again? She had thought then. Would she ever see Iran again? She had felt then. Her feelings in those final moments at Mehrabad Airport had been indescribable; as though she was waiting an execution. Only when the microphone announced the time of the boarding, had she realized that not only she had to go, but she was predestined to go. That was her destiny as it was her parents'. Everything in the last fourteen years had happened for a reason. A man like her father had been convinced against his will to send his daughter to America at such a young age! She remembered the very first time that she wanted to go and her father did not. How strange it was the turns and twists of life, her life, their lives! How time and series of events had changed everything even the feeling of people, or the principals that a man like her father lived by.
She remembered talking to Dr. Hamid about her father's health and if she could call Hamid from America concerning her parents' well being. Then, Hamid had fierce, dynamic eyes. He looked at her and Anna suspected a hatred in his eyes. She mistook that disgust with annoyance he might have for her request; but when he spoke, had she realized that his loathing was for the revolution not her. He despised and abominated every one of those revolutionaries with a deep, personal anger.
One thing that gave her a little hope was her parents' upcoming interviews for their green cards. However, when the time approached, they told her that they could not keep their appointment and she needed to reschedule it. Their reason, of course, was not good enough for her. She wanted to get them out of country before the worst would happen. "We're not ready yet." Those words of her father echoed in her ears for several days; and finally she called Dr. Hamid. His son answered the phone; and he was the one that told her that both her parents were under house arrest. They could not even leave Tehran for another city in Iran. Dr. Hamid's son also told her that the revolutionaries had confiscated many of theirs and her parents' properties.
How foolish and naive she had been! of course, the target of these narrow-minded people would be wealthy and well-known people like her father and Dr. Hamid. To them, these kind of people had drained them for centuries and now it was their turn. These people were not fighting for Islam. Matter factly, Anna called them socialists who were hiding behind religion. Dr. Hamid' son's words kept echoing in her ears:
"You know all your father's employees, including Mehdi are joined the revolutionaries. They all turned their back to us after all these years of employing them, feeding them, marry their children, educate their children, and taking care of them."
She though even Mehdi, the gardener, whom she played with his children! She knew it would be impossible for her father to endure this disgrace- a man in his position, now being under house arrest with no money, and waiting for the charity of the thieves! How could she get them out? She did not care if they had lost everything. All she cared for was their safety. If she could only get them out, she would support them, she would take care of them.

To Be Continued