Thirty One { Return }

In the whole situation, Fatie, Anna's mother, felt completely left out. She thought not being born in an aristocrat family had something to do with he degree of Anna's love for her father compare to much less for her. She would sit in her room every evening alone, while Anna spent time with her father in his room; and she would think about her life, the way Shahzdeh, her husband, had treated her all these years, and now her own daughter, who almost had a nervous breakdown after Aria's death, being so dedicated to her father, , as though he was the last person in this world she could love. On the other hand if everything for Anna was blood line, her blood was in her veins, too. Why did she treat her so differently than her father? She remembered that for the last thirty one years since she married Ali (Shahzdeh), he neither abused her nor criticized her; however, he had never satisfied her with passion or told her loving words as men normally did. In fact, his behaviour towards her had been just the same when she was only a nanny for Aria. The only thing that their marriage had changed in her life was sleeping with him occasionally and not getting paid for the her service as nanny. Her daughter's life had opened her eyes somewhat to the fact that a woman could be equal to a man. For her there was no equality. She felt that even her own daughter thought differently about her since she was not an aristocrat. If she only knew how hard Anna worked for living, may be she would change her idea for the last part of her suffering.
On the other hand Anna was not aware that her behavior was hurting her mother. If she had only known; She would perhaps pay a little more attention to her and comfort her that she loved her just as much as her father. No one could accuse her of taking sides because of rank and money. The only thing that made her so close to her father was that she saw herself in her father, or as her father had said to her in the hospital: "You're me!"
Sometimes looking at her father, she felt she was looking into a mirror at herself. Even her physical look was very much like him- being slender, the shape of their face, nose, mouth, even their fingers. The people that they did not know them, like in America, could tell right away that they were father and daughter. Their manner, the way they talked, moved their hands, everything was so similar that Anna sometimes did not understand why at one point she had hated him. One thing though she had in common with her mother and was very proud of it, and that was her hair, medium brown, shinny, and without curl. People that worked for them, respected Anna just as they did her father; as though she was the master when he was ill. Since Anna did not want anyone to bother her father with the business of their state, news of the day, and chores of the house, all employees would come to her every morning for taking orders and giving reports or the news of the day. In all these Fatie felt more and more isolated. Weren't those her job to do when her husband had fallen ill?
One of the news that captivated Anna and she followed it intensely was about revolution, street fights, and riots in the different cities against The Shah's regime. It all started with an article in a newspaper about the exiled Khomeini. The insulting article stirred up religious leaders and their followers. Things looked bad since the revolution condemned people like her father for being aristocrat and belonging to the One Thousand family. She was frightened for her parents' safety. The surge of the revolutions seemed to be anti- Americans, and her being an American Citizen, daughter of an aristocrat, and widow of CIA agent, were a lethal combination in that environment.
Talking to Dr. Hamid one evening about her fears and worries brightened her eyes to many things that happened before her time and almost the history of her native land. Her cousin thought it was time for her to go back to America before they close all the airports.
"How can I do this? What about my parents? I'll be worry to death for them."
"I understand your worries, but you can't do anything except adding to the anxiety of Shahzdeh and your mother. Your dad is very concern about your safety. He told me so."
"But he didn't tell me anything himself.!"
"Because he knows how adamant you are and you won't listen. It's over a month that you're here. He is feeling much better. Your life is there, your career, everything. You must go back before it's too late; if you want to please your dad!"
"Let me think about this. Are you coming here tomorrow night?"
"Yes,"
"I'll give you my answer tomorrow night."
That night in her room, she thought about what her cousin, Dr. Hamid, had told her. Everything he had said was true and made sense. She knew if she could not get out, her father would be hurt and sick again. On the other hand, how could she go in a situation like this; when her father's health was not perfect, and his dignity was in danger because of the revolution? Her father and people like him would be the first target if the revolution became more serious and moved to the streets of Tehran. She needed to make a tough decision. If she could just take them with her.
In the morning, as usual, she went to her father's bedroom. He was awake, waiting for her. He was also waiting that she would approach him to discuss her decision; for he asked Dr. Hamid to talk to her. He knew that his daughter liked Hamid and respected him and found him a man of reason.
In the room, as usual, Anna kissed her father. He was already bathed and shaved and had his navy, satin robe on.
"Do you want to have your tea here or in the living room, dad?" She was suspicious that he knew that Dr. Hamid had talked to her about this issue.
"I have my tea a little later this morning.
Anna did his bed and then sat on it. He sat on a chair next o the window. His back was to her. For the first time Anna noticed that her father's bedroom was the smallest in the house. But she right away figured out the reason. It was a corner room with two windows on east and side side. He could have a nice breeze in summertime.
They both were waiting for the other to throw the big question or the bigger answer. Silence went on for awhile. Then finally Shahzdeh got up from his chair and came and sat next to her on the bed. Hesitantly, he said:
"Have you read the newspaper today?"
"Not yet, why dad?"
"Just want to know about revolution. I don't feel good about it. I am afraid for your safety."
"How about your safety, dad?"
"I'm not an American Citizen, you are. If you love me and your mother, you must go back as soon as possible.
"Dad, it is not fair that you say if I love you two..." Then she stayed quiet. Tears rushed down her face. The infamous knot formed in her throat again; and before bursting into a loud cry, she said: "I know dad. I decided to go back. I don't want to add to your anxiety by being here. But you must promise me to move to America as soon as you can and live with me. Maybe things calm down; then you can return."
He sighed. He was crying, too. They embraced.
"It takes a lot of preparation. But I think about it seriously.I tell Reza to call the airport for your ticket."
"Yes, dad."

To Be Continued