Maryam was never a jealous type. What she told Sohrab was her true feeling about Neda's extreme love and attention to their son. She was thankful that her son had so much love all around him. After this conversation, they ended up to spend many nights at Neda'a home. Neda even offered them to move in with her. It was a tempting suggestion; but they wanted to have their privacy and independence once in a while.
Some nights after bathing Aria, Neda would wrap him in his blue towel, he had a dozen of them in the same color, and placed him on her chest, lay on the bed; The way she remembered they had put her daughter on her chest after birth! Most nights, they both fell asleep just like that. Oh, how easy it was to doze, dream, and even sleep when Aria was on her chest; and how heavenly it was to go to the deep, deep sleep, yes to sleep, something that would not come easy for Neda. This little boy and her poetry were the only purpose of her life now; everything else was on the periphery.
Mehri, her mother, and Zari, her aunt came to see their grandson, Aria, often. He would not go to them no matter how much Neda told him:
"Come on sweet heart, do it for Aunt Ne. Give your grandmas a kiss."
But no matter how much Neda insisted, Aria locked her hands around her neck, hid his head in her shoulder, and did not move. One day Mehri, her mother said:
"You could have made a very good mother!"
Neda almost turned blue. Her mother had never learned to be diplomatic. Zari noticed how the color of Neda's face changed. It was apparent that she was not in a happy mood anymore. After a long silence, she said to her mother:
"I'm a mother!" Then she walked out of the room while holding Aria close to her heart. She walked to the yard. A few tears glistened in her eyes and wetted her face.
"Aunt Ne cry! " Aria wiped the tears from Neda's face with his little hand, and kissed her.
"Aunt Ne bobo..."
Neda hugged him harder so much so that she heard an "ou" from him.
"Aunt Ne is sad." She answered her nephew.
These days nobody interfered with her life anymore. She had not seen her father, Sima, or half sister, Mina for the last four years.
Sometimes she thought about her childhood, about the relationship she had had with her father. She wondered how was it possible that if one loved his child once, that person could ignore or forget her, as her father had done first to her and then to Sohrab. She had not even seen his grandson, Aria, yet. She never asked her mother about her father, Sima, or Mina. Her mother did not ever say anything about them! Neda told Sohrab and Maryam one evening:
"I guess mother is used to her life now, and has accepted to be unimportant!"
Sohrab did not answer. Maryam grimaced, and Kasra hurriedly said:
"True, true, " Then he went to get the dessert from the kitchen.
Neda, who had always had a hard time to sleep; either she dreamt horrible dreams, or just sat and wrote with her bleeding pens, nowadays slept very peacefully every time that her nephew was next to her. He gave her such a serenity and uninterrupted calm that she could not even believe it herself. Just knowing that Aria was there, next to her, gave her such a harmony that there was no more nightmares, no more getting up and forgetting completely about sleeping while going to the yard and smoking nonstop. With Aria next to her, it was just a tranquil sleep while feeling his soft, gentle breathing. Occasionally he turned towards her in his sleep and unconsciously wrapped his little arms around her, as though he was afraid that she was gone. OH, how heavenly!
She promised Maryam and Sohrab that when Aria was at her home, she would let him sleep in his own room. She kept her promise. What an ordeal! The child would cry for hours before he would finally calm down in his own bed. When finally he was sleep, Neda could hear his breathing that still sounded like crying even in his sleep because of the prior crying. Then Neda would wait longer to make sure that he was not going to wake up; then she would get up and go to her own room. Sometimes this new process would take hours. The child and the aunt both were unhappy. By the time Neda was in her own bed, the insomnia would set in. The serenity was gone; the nightmares were back. But she knew it was the right thing. One night she felt so desperate and needy for love that she called Kasra, who happened to be spending that night at his own place, at two in the morning.
To Be continued:
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