Neda stayed in hospital with her father for the next six days. The old man was hooked to all kind of machines, what ever was available to them those days. It came a day that the old doctor told her that nothing could save the old man.
"my recommendation is to remove all these tubes, and disconnect the machines. Your father is suffering this way a lot more. He is a dignified man; I don't think that is what he wants."
Neda looked at the doctor with dry, scratchy eyes. She had no more tears to shed.
"We need to talk to everyone about it!"
"I know!" He said and then added:
"I get all the legal papers ready in case everyone in the family agrees. I don't want any dispute. But you know it is Sohrab who needs to sign these papers not you or his wives!"
Neda thought for a moment and suddenly and unexpectedly said:
"You're very good in altering papers, changing birth dates, changing the the name of the mother who gives birth, who carries the baby for nine months..." She wanted to go on but the poisonous knot in her throat stopped her. These were the words that she wanted to tell the old doctor for many years. She found this moment suitable.
"You'll never forgive me for that?!"
She thought for a moment and then with difficulty said:
"How can I? But as I've forgiven my dad, I perhaps forgive you, too, when you're on your death bed. My life has been like death or better yet, like dying all these years..." She walked away.
She regretted what she had said to the old doctor, but on the other hand, she wanted to say these things to her father which she never had a chance and she could not anymore since he was in comma. So in a very intelligent way, she told the doctor, who was about the same age as his father, that his life would come to an end, like her father's life, one of these days. She knew that the doctor was suffering from some form of cancer. She knew that he was planing to retire so he could do more intense treatment.
As she walked outside of the hospital to smoke a cigarette, she thought how could she put this burden on Sohrab, her older brother, which in reality, she acted older than him? But that was the law, the black law for women, and the good and ugly for men!
That night in the dim room, while watching her father's labored breathing and his other vital signs, she put a small light on and began writing on some hospital paper. She could always find paper, and Kasra would take care of the rest.
✍
"O' daddy, remember your little girl,
Remember the days of her depression,
Remember how much you loved her,
Remember how you made that big mistake!
I believed in you, but I became a nuisance!
You suddenly forgot me, got rid of me!
O' daddy, remember that cherry tree,
Which you planted the day I was born!
And when I returned to see you,
Mom said that it died when I left,
And it was chopped down to become a stand for a pot.
O' daddy, remember that you made me marry;
And I returned pregnant and sick.
And you gave away my little baby.
O' daddy, how can I let you die,
Even though you killed me long ago.
You ruined my life to have a life for yourself
But we're from same root, same blood.
I can't hate you, is that strange?
And now I want to protect your son,
Who became my dad, my brother, my friend!"
✍
Early in the morning, Neda called Sohrab and told him what the doctor had told her the night before.
"I know this is a huge burden on you, but we must save our father from this misery. When you sign, just think it is me that is signing."
Sohrab was obviously very upset. No one would like to do something like this especially to his own father; even though he had betrayed both him and his sister. But he knew that Neda had made a right decision; he knew it was the right thing in his mind, but his heart overruled it.
To Be Continued
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