Neda was using baby talks in her dreams with Ariana. Her daughter understood everything that she said. At the beginning of these dreams, she had complained. "I'm not a baby! Don't talk like this to me..." But slowly and gradually she came to accept her mother's baby talk to her.
These all started after the death of her father and the suicide of the old doctor, as if some warning, "Danger, danger!" On this special dream, the night before Ariana's phone call, her daughter sounded very concern for her while saying her good byes. " I'm worried for you mother. You must forget about me. I'm not going to come to your dream anymore!"
Then she said: "This is the last, mom. This is good bye!" She was silent for awhile. Neda even thought that the dream was over when Ariana said after a long pause:
"Mother, you're so unhappy!"
Neda thought: "How strange! She is calling me mother for the first time. She shows care and distress for me. She does not condemn me!"
Then she introspected in her dream world why that particular night the dream was so different than other nights.
"I must go now, mother." This was, Neda guessed, the third time that she had called her mother, and all three times in this special night, in this distinctive night. She had never called her anything. Was she dreaming or was she making up all these things?
"Don't go, not yet!" Neda begged. She touched her daughter's face in the dream; pushed her away a little so she could look at her better. She was not a child, not the eight years old child that the dreams of other nights had portrayed. She was a woman, looked so much like her, taller than her, the same type of hair. She was almost identical mirror of herself at the age she had given birth to her. Ariana seemed to be in a hurry when she finally disappeared.
Life had never been this forlorn and disconsolate for Neda when she woke up that morning. She was depressed every morning thinking that she had to live another day; but this special morning her distress was beyond any one's imagination. It seemed to her that everything was falling apart. Her dream of the night before, seemed so real, so tangible..., or perhaps they were games her mind were playing with her every night and last night particularly! She was not sure if they were her creations or they were real dreams, so, real, so touchable, so... Last night's dream was bitter sweet. That dream was trying to tell her something, announcing some kind of news to her. All the memories of that mental picture, or perhaps a delusion came crashing down back in her mind. They were extremely vivid and alive as though they were not dreams at all. The law, this shattering, fathomless and abysmal law of the land that at one point Kings and Queens and Cultures and Civilizations ruled it; and now had changed because of a dark religion which had stolen her child from her. Three men, who were supposed to protect her, had cheated her of her God given right as a mother; money had changed hands; father had sold his daughter and therefore his soul; doctor, who had forgotten his honor and his oat; and a husband, who had exchanged her for a better model! Oh, how terrible! And now these dreams had become like an added horror to punish her what the three men and the dark religion had done to her!!!!!
To Be Continued
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