In this Sunday morning, as Diana vacuumed the living room, she remembered Vickie's birthday, the last of her birthdays that they had shared with her. Vickie had some of her friends over. The spiteful, wicked boyfriend, who has caused their separation, was there, too. Even though Jacob always told his wife people do things on their own volition, and no on could force them to do things they did not want to do, Diana believed that their daughter left because she was so much under the spell and influence of the boyfriend. As she was cleaning the bag of the vacuum cleaner, she recalled the embrace, when her hands clasped around Vickie's neck. Her daughter's head was pressed to her chest and then it was this absolute silence which was interrupted only by the sound of Diana's weeping, as though she had known this was the last birthday of her daughter she would see. That day, her eyes that had never left Vickie, revealed more than tenderness or motherly love; there were also this forbidden sorrow in them which mingled with fright and awe; nonetheless, she had her sort of gentle approach which was the characteristic of Diana according to people who knew her.
Vickie released herself from her mother's embrace and with a gesture of disgust told to her friends:
"My parents are never than a step away from me." Her face wreathed in a fake smile; and then she continued:
"This gives me an uncomfortable sense to shut out myself from them. If I want to say something to my mother, even before approaching her, I can hear and feel her dismay or sigh. Then I forget why I was going to her or what I wanted to tell her!"
Diana and Jacob looked at each other with bewilderment.
"I wish you had some respect for us especially when we have people over. I don't think your friends talk like this to their parents." Jacob's response to his daughter's uncouth remark was masked with a stifled smile, obviously wanting to end the squabble.
But the quarrel continued until the day Vickie left and never returned. What a change since then! If the husband and wife's relation had occasionally undefined, now became completely determined. Now they were closer to each other than ever. Now they shared more than a daughter, they shared the same kind of misery, the same unanswered questions, and the same reminder that nothing was for ever. At the beginning of Vickie's disappearance, when they both constantly talked about her, the memories of her childhood, and sweet moments, Jacob agreed with Diana when she said:
"Why can't we live like those first, sweet, undying moments of her forever ? Where did we go wrong? What was our mistake?"
"Jacob replied with an indefinable poise, covering his face with his hands:
"Here we are sitting next to each other, as we were before, as a fungus grows in a tree. It's only always me that stays with you, and you with me faithfully and forever. Children are like birds. When their wings grow, they fly out. Have you noticed how my father stayed with my crazy mother to the end; and even my mother with all her idiotic attitude respected my father?"
He removed his hands from his face and then hugged Diana in a manner of so much kindness and passion than ever.
~*
This Sunday morning when Diana walked to the yard, it was five in the morning. Jacob was still in bed. It was a magnificent September morning. Small motley clouds stayed suspended like cotton in the azure color sky; the dew on the leaves looked like clear beads and shone like silver; and the moist earth glowed in the blue and rosy color of dawn. She sighed while sitting on the chair of the patio and started a cigarette. Her emotions were entangled in her mind, and tears rose in her throat. She thought: "How terrible it is to love and not to be loved in return." Every minute of her life had been wasted in a deadly waiting since Vickie's leaving them. She had yearned ever since that Vickie would enter the house as nothing had happened one day. Her feeling was even worse around the holidays. At that moment, the entire of her life and her daughter's ruined life startled her. In that glorious morning, she laid her head on the arm of the chair and quietly wept. As usual, after crying she felt better; and went back inside to prepare the house for their party that evening.
~*
To Be Continued
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