Their engagement was not without quarrel. Neda had ideas that Mansour did not like. At his age, without knowing that he was set up by Jalal, he had chosen Neda for reasons of his own. First she was very young; and he believed he could shape her character in any way that suited him best. Second, she was almost pretty, if it was not for her slender and girlish body. Third, she was from a good family, a very well respected family which was very important to him. She was unassuming and shy, so he thought. Marrying an insecure girl was important to him; and above all, in recent months she had gone through a lot of turmoil at home because of her father's second marriage and she had witnessed her mother's capitulation to this new situation. Mansour thought all these would make her to yield to him entirely; would make her to look at him as his hero, would make her to worship and admire him fully; and most of all would revere him, only him. His imagination created all these occurrences on this young girl. He found her to be a perfect wife for himself. What he did not know was that beneath the skin of this shy and diffident girl laid a tiger of woman, who was nothing like her mother.
Mansour, of course had his doubts, too. There was another side to this measured girl that truly bother him. She constantly talked about the mediocre culture they lived in and especially the way women were treated. She also talked about her goals and dreams. "I'll be a famous poet one day." She had said that to him so many times that if he heard it one more time, he would probably leave her.
Each evening when they saw each other, before proceeding to almost familiar tone of their conversation of the evening before, he would ponder on the question: "will she be commendable or obnoxious tonight?" And Neda would ask herself: "Will we be friend or enemy tonight?"
In his opinion, her ideas about life were beyond a woman's capability; however internally he knew that women like men were able of understanding and creating. But he did not want that kind of woman for himself. He had his doubts about this whole thing; nonetheless, even in their constant disagreeing, Neda was always lovely. He hoped that things would be different when they were married and she would settle down like her mother or his mother. Acting more like a teacher to her than a fiance, one evening he told her:
"You must consider the society, your family's status, my feeling before soaring to sky with all your dreams!"
Neda, who was never without an answer, retorted:
"You want to put me in a box; but box has doors, and I can go outside. I've gotten to a moment of my life that I pick my ideas and poetry over pleasing others any time! I want to live my life fully. I don't want to fall into shallow existence that sometimes hypocrites like you would impose on me."
To Be Continued
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