The foolish preparation for wedding destroyed all the happiness for Neda. Yes the absurd anticipation, things had to be bought, the invitation had to be sent out, and that pointless and laughable wedding gown that in no way Neda could convince her mother for something simpler. Mother was in control of something, and her words these days were final.
Father, who had had a very high hope for his favorite little Girl, Neda, at this point, truly did not care one way or the other. He was just spending the money and would give Mehri as much money as she wanted. Father did not care that Mansour did not have money to pay for Neda's wedding gown, or pay for the wedding (as it is customary in Iran). Why didn't he care? Neda was the only one who made him ashamed of what he had done! He still loved Neda, but he wanted her out of the house; and marriage was the only way! After many years of a boring life that had become like a routine, now he felt alive, good, and blessed. For not losing all these great feelings, he did not care that his daughter was about to marry a man twenty years older than her with no money, no real job, and no real education. His reason was: "Mansour has prospective. He is a good man. He'll take care of Neda, and would be able to bring her down to earth." He truly believed that Mansour had potential to provide a good life for Neda. He just needed to help them out at the beginning. Jalal was of the opinion that Neda's marriage would not be a momentary impulse by her or Mansour, but it would be an even that would last for ever. He had already forgotten that he had set all these himself' or perhaps if he thought that it was not him that brought them together, the matter would be forgotten. When all the commotion in his house would be over, he thought, his new normal, yet exciting life with Sima would be back. He thought his first wife, Mehri, was so submissive and needy that she could not in any way annoy them. And about his son, Sohrab, he knew that he did not care one way or the other. The only one who was giving him an uneasy inclination was Neda. She would be gone in short order to her own place. He even rented an apartment for the bride and groom and paid six months rent in advance. This one, he said was his wedding gift to them besides the usual entire household furniture, a bedroom suit, and of course the cost of the wedding itself. Nevertheless, he told Mansour that he needed to find a real job, and to finish his college, and to provide for his young bride to be.
"I'm helping you guys now to start, because I know you're made for each other; but you must do it yourself in short order!"
Yes, the ludicrous arrangement for wedding caused that Jalal to talk more to Mehri, his first wife, than to Sims, the second one. However speaking a few words occasionally to her had its own exquisite charm. Some days, not even one word was spoken between the two of them, but they enjoyed each other completely by analytic and penetrating use of looking at each other and by hearing each other's voice when talking to others. They told each other more by not speaking than when they spoke. Jalal could see in Sima, in sparkling light in her eyes, in laughter of passion and satisfaction that she showed in her face without even being aware of them, in her natural firmness, in her certain contentment, and in the movement of her body, more than when he was in bed with her and touching her. He knew that she was not offended or upset since he could not spare some time for her during the day because of the foolish preparation of the wedding.
Mehri, on the other hand, had not forgotten her pain. Her mental suffering was an incurable suffering that she had to endure until the last day of her life. She had never had what was given to Sima in a very short time by her husband. She had given money, business, and the way of life to her husband; Sima had given him light, passion, and life. She could not compete with that. She knew it was not possible to cure a broken heart, as it was impossible to collect spilled water from the ground. She was conscious of the degradation specially these days that many family members had filled their house for the wedding anticipation. Every look, any hint reminded her of her humiliation even though none was referred to her. She told her sister- in- law one day while wrapping candies in the white net and making a bow at the end of it:
"What I feel is completely sickening and harsh. It is hard to say what it is. It's much more worse than depression. I feel like all the virtue in me have vanished, leaving me only atrociousness."
To Be Continued
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