Still being in the street with all those military tanks and trucks and men wearing stolen fatigues, carrying Uzis and Kalashnikov; women wearing full hejab (covering themselves); some black chador, some long, loose coats with big scarves covering their head; some carrying their babies in their arms, some in their backs, while holding the hands of their toddlers so they would not lose them, Neda was trying very hard to get to the other side of the street where there were less crowd. She was in the street, almost in the same spot for four hours when she had a chance to look at her watch. A long time had passed since her appointed time to see her Arianna for the first time after all these devastating nineteen years.
She recalled the phone conversation. She had a hard time to believe the woman on the other side of the line was truly her daughter. She had called her "Neda". "Can I speak with Neda?" That was how she had started. Later in conversation, not even once, she had called her mom. In fact she had called her nothing.
"Can I speak with Neda?"
"This is she." Neda had answered.
Then there was a pause, almost too long of a pause; but Neda did not hang up the phone. As famous as she was, she always would get prank calls; but for some reason she did not think this was a phony call. For some strange reason her heart was beating violently, as though she knew. Finally the heavy breathing from the other side stopped and she heard the magical words:
"I'm Arianna!"
Neda held the edge of the table so as not to fall. Her knee buckled. Her heart pounded. beads of sweat appeared on her forehead. There was no chair around. Before falling, she managed to sit on the floor almost unable to talk. This time the pause was even longer than Arianna's suspension could endure. Finally Neda gathered all her strength and said:
"Arianna, is that really you?!"
"yes!"
"Is that really you?" She said it again this time crying, growing suddenly animated.
"Yes, yes, it's me. I'm leaving Iran. I tell you when I see you how I found you." Arianna's voice trembled with emotion. A long silence ensued. Neda felt tormented and oppressed.
"How can you leave? Airports are closed!"
"We found a smuggler. I don't want to stay here. This is not my country anymore!"
Neda shuddered and went as white as a corpse.
"I don't blame you! Did you know that I am your mother?"
"No, my mom and dad never told me about you!"
Now she was crying hysterically. Neda could hear her weeping. Her eyes widened and she exhaled a soft stream of grieving.
"How did you find about me?" Neda was finally able to bring out those words from her mouth.
"It is a long story. I want to see you before I leave. My dad doesn't know that I'm contacting you and I want to see you! But my mom knows."
"Can you just tell me some thing? Are you blaming me for this?"
Again there was a long delay. Her silence was painful
"No, I don't blame you. I love your poetry. A lot of times, since I found out, I feel you're writing about me. I write poetry, too, but nothing like yours. My dad makes fun of me. I guess he made fun of you, too. Sometimes ago a friend of mine and I were reading your biography in the back jacket of one of your book. My friend, out of blue, told me how I look like you." She stopped at this point, breathing heavily.
Neda was shaking all over. Kasra came to the room and found her on the floor, looking like a dead person. He questioned her with his eyes. She waved her hands for him to leave her; but he stayed. Neda did not object it. He could hear the conversation , since Neda switched to the speaker phone. She finally asked Arianna:
"How did you connect the missing parts?"
"That evening I told my mom and dad about what my friend had told me. They both went as white as a sheet. They stayed speechless. Then I knew. I demanded the truth. My dad told me about the short marriage he had with you!" Arianna said these as if to her self. Neda cried convulsively. "So she looks like me! She likes poetry!" She said those in her speaking mind.
"Are you there?" Arianna asked her.
"Yes, I am." Neda's answer was inaudible. What Arianna could hear was her crying.
"Please don't cry. I want to see you before leaving."
Neda gathered the last energy that she could find and said:
"When are you leaving?"
"I think next week! It depends to the smuggler..."
"One week!"
"Yes, may be even less..."
Neda began crying again.
"Please come tomorrow. I want to see you. May we smuggle together. Come to my friend's home, Roya. I don't want my father to know about this. My mom knows, but she promised that she won't say anything to my dad."
"Smuggle together?!" Neda fainted at this point. Kasra, who by now knew what was going on, took the phone and talked to Arianna. He got the address and telephone number of her friend, Roya; where mother and daughter would meet for the first time the next day.
To Be Continued
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