"When you have your baby," Maryam told Neda: "may be you and I rent a small place and live together, get out of the rule of our parents!"
Neda loved that idea very much. She did not want to marry again either even though her case was more understandable than Maryam's. She would be a divorced woman soon. Perhaps an older divorced or widower would marry her; but Maryam was a woman who had disgraced herself without being married.
With that goal in her mind, The rest of Neda's pregnancy would become a little easier, even though she did not know how Maryam and she could persuade their parents for becoming independent.
Friday came. Would she be allowed to be in the room when her father and Manour would discuss the term and condition in which her divorce would be conducted? She doubted it; nevertheless, she prepared herself for it. She talked to her mother, brother, and Sima that she wanted to be involved in her own destiny; that she wanted to be in the room where the two men were making decision about her life! But she did not say anything to her father. These days no one, even Sima, dared to approach Jalal. He was like an angry tiger. He had intentionally given his daughter to a man, a nobody, a near-do-well man. Now she had returned sick and pregnant. His plan for a peaceful life with Sima had not worked. He told Mehri, his first wife, one morning before going to work:
"What kind of mother are you? Why didn't you teach her not to get pregnant? Do I have to do everything here?"
Mehri had nothing to say. Everyone was blaming her for Neda's unfortunate life. But she knew that she had not taught her daughter anything about married life; so she even blamed herself!
That evening shortly before Mansour arrived, Neda went to father's study. The sight of that room overwhelmed her with memory of the days that she had sat on his knees and he read her; or she went to that room without her father getting angry at her and took any book she wanted. At this moment that she opened the door and entered the room, she was paler than ever. It looked as if life had gone from her face.
Jalal was smoking his pipe and drinking something. His head was bent into his chest with both his arms on the desk. Neda saw a desperate man not her father. He had aged since her return.He raised his head and looked at her, but really did not see her. Guilt of what he has done, was so overwhelming that he could not look at her. Neda waited inside the door for a few second and since he did not say anything, she finally said:
"Dad, I want to be present when you talk to Mansour!"
Jalal finally saw her. He also heard her. Now he looked at her with contempt.
"Haven't you caused enough headache for us?
Neda's eyes welled up with tears. She did not care that her father was angry or contemptuous towards her. Now that she knew the story of her marriage for sure had been a set up by her father, she was not afraid of him anymore. She said:
"Dad, it is my life. You got rid of me. Now I'm back. You can't stop me.!"
"Do as you wish! I am so sick and tired of all of you."
He was bitter. He was tired; but Neda was not about to give in. Her own father had ruined her life and now he was angry at her because he had not achieved his goal which was getting rid of her. Her own mother had completely ignored her since she was mourning her own life. Before leaving the room, she took one more step. Now she was in the room not in the door way. She looked her father straight in the eyes and said:
To Be Continued
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