Maryam did not answer him. The hatred between them was natural. She was also suspicious that Jalal, Neda's father, had planned all theses to get rid of his daughter, the only one person who made him uneasy about his second marriage. Maryam had no proof, yet she knew it was true.
She ran outside to the yard without saying another word to Mansour or looking at him. The workers were still cleaning the yard and the rooms. All guests were gone except a few close family members. Neda was still sitting on the bench in the dark with her knees drawn into her chest. The only light there was just the regular light at the top of the entrance door to the building. Where Neda was sitting was compete darkness. A few men were clearing up the rented tables and chairs and stacking them and putting them in a corner for the truck to come tomorrow and take them. Maryam looked and thought about what were left of a very fancy and expensive wedding!
She quietly sat next to Neda. They did not speak for a while. Each was engrossed in her own thought. Then it was Neda, who first began. She was not crying anymore. It seemed as though her tears were dried out.
"I can't continue. My heart has to struggle to beat!"
Maryam put her hand over hers and gently massaged it; and then she hugged her. Their hugs were sweet and gentle. it was something they both needed. Maryam was looking for words which not only be wise, but also be soothing. She knew that she can not lecture her cousin even though Neda was younger and less experienced. One of the traits in their families were stubbornness- regular and phony talk would do none of them good. She should say things like a very sincere cousin and friend she was, not like a mother or an aunt. They were friends that knew many things about each other, not everything.
"Listen honey, we see our lives from only our point of view. We don't consider the other people's feeling. We..."
Neda suddenly cut her off:
"Why you say we while you're only talking about me?"
"Because I'm like you..."Maryam said with a pale face that was invisible to Neda in the dark of night.
"One day I tell you what truly happened on my wedding day, but not now. That is why I am saying we. But if you prefer I just say you. When you consider only your point of view, you become a weak person because only feeble people think about themselves and not others. I am like you; and look at me, I am the one that advising you. But think about your poor parents, especially your mother. What is going to happen to them if they find out? Then how would you feel? Unfortunately sometimes we must make sacrifices in life. I've done my share; now it's your turn.
"How do I feel?" Neda quizzed her cousin.
"I'm not sure. But I know you don't feel good. I know you want everything turns to the way they were before. I know you don't want to be married! I agree with all of them, yet you have left yourself no choice."
Neda listened earnestly. Her cousin described her state of mind so well and so correct that she was amazed. No wonder that she liked Maryam.
"You're refusing what you've accepted." Maryam began. "Don't refuse only for the sake of rejecting. You think by denying, you gain power. But what you don't know is that going through it, is also a form of dominion. You can be stalwart by tolerating this life that you've chosen without anyone influencing you. You can keep your personality. Mansour can not change you and make a slave out of you; or as you say turn you to a housewife, not if you allow it." Maryam knew that at this point she was not sure of what she was saying. Earlier she had come to the conclusion that Neda was set up by her father.
To Be Continued
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