Neda slowly got used to staying in bed more and longer; and less with her family on the first floor. In her girlhood room, she contemplated, reflected, and felt sorry for herself. Nonetheless, she did not want to be like her mother. She knew that no one could put the spilled water back into the jar. This pregnancy seemed like a prison or a cage. The jail to her was the baby, who now moved, kicked, and brought her strange sensations. She thought about the life of her mother, herself, even Sima, and the lives of all the women in her country. She was puzzled about Maryam, her cousin, whom on her wedding day, the groom had not showed up. All these women were stripped out from their God given freedom and right! Lack of education, not knowing, and allowing the men to act as their superior and even guardian, had made women this way, weak and submissive. In her sick bed, she thought that she would change things for herself when everything would be settled. The women's subjugation had begun so far back and it was so perfect for men that no one seemed to object it anymore, or to recognize it. it was an abysmal abyss that separated women completely from men. However Neda knew all these at her very young age. She did not want to be that way. She knew that she was as smart as any man her age or even older. As she thought about these issues, she wondered if she understood all these at her age, why other women did not know them; and if they did, why they did not do anything about them?! Why could not they all bring their thoughts and actions together and demand their rights and equalities?
These concepts disturbed her tremendously. She still could not trust Sima completely; therefore, Maryam, her cousin, who visited her often became her confidant and sympathizer. There was something about Sima's friendship that made her uneasy. As kind as she was to her, Neda could see streaks of deception in Sima's behavior with her. She even thought that Sima was spying on her; and that is why she had gotten so close to her, so she can tell her father about her. Neda needed all the love and kindness at this point of her life; and Sima was ready to give her all those without a question! But Neda's intuition was never wrong. She knew that Sima truly liked her, but she liked her life with her father better; and if her father wanted her to spy on his own daughter, she would do it. The fact that a beautiful woman like Sima had not married till her late twenties, and then she had married an older man with a wife and children was an unanswered question that everyone was curious about it. Her family was not very well off. She had become the Queen of Jalal, her twenty years older husband, and the house. She was able to take the place of the first wife with no problem. And Jalal bought her everything she wanted. Her cousin, Maryam was safe.
It was in one of these visits that Maryam revealed the greatest secret of her life to Neda, the reason that her fiance did not show up on their wedding day. Learning about it, Neda was astonished but not to the level of being shocked.
Maryam's secret confirmed her idea of women's subservient in their country even more to her. Maryam had exposed herself to danger for elating and exhilarating herself from boredom; however, that reverence had ruined her life only because she was a woman.
*-*
To Be Continued
No comments:
Post a Comment