As Neda was thinking about the seven months of marriage, she found herself not having enough energy to smooth out her apathy with Mansour. Even her pregnancy could not appease their opposing views, yet it increased them. "You are a cold woman." One time Mansour told her; yet she wanted love and kindness since according to him, she lacked them. The fight that had grown by the day was the reason she was sick not pregnancy. That is what the doctor told her when with Sima's insistence, the two of them went to the doctor two days after she had moved back to her parents' home. Neda and Mansour belonged to two different worlds. She was full of feelings, despite what he had told her. She was uneasy and scattered minded; and he was practical and ordinary. The divorce had to come.
Neda was completely aware of the complexity of her situation with all its details. This apprehension was involuntary; she had not learned it anywhere; she had not been told about it by anyone; she had not confronted it before. However, she assumed that her mental burden and the process of clearing it was only unique to her. She never imagined that other people around her, like her family, were also engulfed by this complicated situation that her marriage had caused. No, their difficulties could not be in the same order as hers was.
There came a new anxiety in her tortured soul that she was conscious of it, from her moving slow, from her constant pain of her lower back, from her heavy breathing, from her high blood pressure and from the twitching of her face and eyes. Around her the family seemed to have no will of their own, although they all knew the ground of her depression and physical sickness. Each individual seemed was compulsory infected by her distress. At this period, Neda could not listen to the heart beats of her family. She only felt the violent beating of her own heart.
Nobody told her anything; nevertheless, she knew that something was being done about her condition. She wondered how her father could act on her behalf without her knowing it. All she learned was by eavesdropping and hearing bits and pieces that Sima, her mother, or Sohrab told her. She knew that Mansour would be in their home Friday evening to discuss the terms of the divorce with her father. It was Wednesday. It was exactly a week since she had left her apartment. Her father had already sent his workers to empty the apartment and remove everything he had bought for her. They put everything in an extra room on the second floor which they used as a storage room.
She was not able to go to her night school anymore. Her doctor had forbidden her of moving around too much, or being by herself alone. The doctor told Sima that Neda had a very small uterus; therefore, she would face difficulties carrying the baby to the full term and delivering it naturally. To save her and the baby, the doctor had ordered complete rest. Mehri, Neda's mom was first offended by her daughter's trusting her rival, Sima, and second by her choosing her adversary as her confidant. Zari, her sister- in- law, told her:
"I guess if you don't feel sorry for yourself all the time, then Neda would come to you for advice not Sima!"
Despite the doctor's order, Neda moved around the house gingerly. Her mother seemed nervous and worried, however, Sima told Mehri in a very amenable manner:
"I don't see anything wrong in her moving around as long as nothing happens to her mental state!"
Sima recognized that emotional disturbance most of the time was worst than physical pain. Zari also Told Mehri:
"Put your envy aside if you love your daughter. If Sima and Neda are getting along, let it be. Neda is closer in age with Sima than with you. Besides they look at each other as friends."
Mehri had to think hard and serious about these guidance from all around her before she would accept them. But her acknowledgment was all in her head not in her heart.
To Be Continued
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