Odyssey... 38- Other-Half, Lila

Hana arranges her travel plans a few months ahead. For the first time, she decides to do something nice for herself so she can prove to the good doctor that she has learned "SELF WORTH". She buys first class ticket. The price is a lot different, but she is certain that the comfort level would be priceless. She begins shopping for her son, Sylvie and the baby. She has this intuition that the baby will be boy. Soon they will know. Sylvie's doctor has done a sonogram last week, but he said that he could not say since baby's back was shown. Hana has always had this instinctual perception that most of the time has been true. Since the return of Rita from Italy when she heard the news of Sylvie's pregnancy, she is positive that the baby is boy, another Sam, just like her mother's situation. She believes it can not be any other way. She concludes that her Sam is about to be reborn, since the baby is due in May, the same month Sam was born. Her job these days besides going to work, is shopping for her family and the baby boy clothes and toys. Two months before her departure, Farhad calls her with a news that she has already known it.

"Mom, the baby is boy. Doctor told us yesterday."

"I know it sweetheart!"

"How do you know, mom?

"Never mind. How is Sylvie? I know Rita is already there. When does her father come?"

"He is coming a few days after you."

"What are you going to do with all these people in your small apartment? Rita told me that you have a very small place."

"Why are you asking? I hope you're not planning to stay in a hotel!"

"Oh, no, no, I won't be any where but where all you guys are."

"How do you feel, mom? I know you were sick."

"I'm fine . It was some kind of stomach virus." She does not not want Farhad to know about her starving herself to death. Rita has promised her not to talk about it even to her daughter.

"Mom, one more thing I want to ask you! Is it okay with you if we name the baby Sam?"

"What else can you name him?"

As for the first time Hana using her vacation for enjoyment, one thing gradually begins to prick her like an old wound. Is she going to be able to return to America after being with the baby for three weeks? She really wants to raise the baby, just like her mother, who raised her babies so she can work and go to school; nevertheless her Independence is very important to her, is part of who she is. Without that, she would lose all sense of her liberty and self reliance. In the last session she has had with Dr. Barbara, she discuss this with her.

"I agree with you hundred percent. I am sure they will return to the States one day. They will not stay in Italy for ever. You can go there couple of time a year. You can help them financially so they can finish their college faster, but living with them or close to them and becoming a baby sitter will take your sense of freedom and independence. You'll be miserable. You know it and I know it. That is why you're talking about it."

"You right Dr. B. As much as I want to be with the baby, my situation with my mother is very different. I've been working and supporting others for all my adult life time. You're right. Helping and becoming a baby sitter are two different things."

When Hana leaves Dr. Barbara's office, the good doctor says to herself:

"She is cured now."

The day of the reckoning arrives. She goes to the airport three hours ahead of her flight. Soon she will see her family, the only ones that are left or care. In a few days she will be with Sam again as though her life is repeating itself. As her flight number moves up on the screen of the monitor, she goes back and forth outside to smoke cigarette. At one point, she thinks her watch has stopped working. The paranoia returns. She asks a few people for the time and compares it with her watch. She knows that her watch has not stopped. She goes outside again.

Sitting on the bench, while a warm breeze of April moves through her body, she smokes while conjuring up and dreaming. Her life to her, is like a story that getting to its end. In fact, she has told Lila, her other- half, that this must be the last chapter since after this she wants to do the writing herself and she wants to live a privet life; therefore, she does not need her anymore. As memories appear in the circle of smoke that coming out of her mouth, she suddenly smells a familiar scent. The furrow between her eyebrow deepens. While she searches with her eyes for the one his cigar smoke at one point gave her so much pleasure. She can not believe what she sees. Mario is standing there, right behind the bench she is sitting, smoking his cigar and watching her.

"What are you doing here, Mario? Did Valery tell you about me being here?" Her voice does not show any rudeness but it is sweet.

"No, she didn't. I am going to Italy. I needed to get away for a while. " He sits next to her on the bench.

"Really! I am going to Italy, too. I'm going to be a grandma in a couple of days."

"That is wonderful. There is no joy better than having a grandchild. What time is you flight?" He is overwhelmed with rapture.

"I am flying at seven."

"Oh, my God, we'll be in a same plane." He says joyously.

"Where in Italy are you going?" She asks.

"I'll stay in Rome for a few days and then I am going to Roccamontepiano, Abruzzi, a village that my mother was born. I want to be with my cousins for a while. I always find peace there. Where in Italy you go?"

Hana pictures a village with kind people who live simple life.

"I'm going to Rome and then to Florence with a train."

As they are comfortably sitting next to each other on the bench, she devours the aroma of his cigar realizing how much she has missed that smell. The silence falls while Mario looks at her, who has aged so much in two years. He remembers their passionate and eternal love. He has never stopped loving her.

"Can I sit next to you in the plane?" He says it in a way that sound more like begging."

"I'm flying first class."

"Me, too!" Mario says it with a sweet smile in his face.

"I haven't gotten my boarding pass but they have assigned me seat two.

"Mine is four. But I am sure we can arrange to sit next to each other specially after how much we have paid for our tickets."

"Let's go in and get our boarding passes. We can ask for two seats next to each other."

"Oh, Hana, I like that."

*

To Be Continued