When the time comes, shortly after their return from walking, for Sam to leave them, Farhad and Sylvie hugging Sam. The three of them are crying uncontrollably. Mario is standing a little in back and waiting for his turn to say goodbye. Hana is sitting on a rock by herself. She is not crying. She does not know how she feels or thinks. She is just numb. Should someone look at her at that moment, they can not read anything in her face or her aura at all. She looks but she does not see, she listens but can not hear, she speaks but her voice is dead. When Mario finally comes ahead and whispers something in Farhad's ear, the two brothers and Sylvie open their arms and free themselves from the long, agonizing hugging and sobbing. Sam walks towards his mom. She does not move, No one knows that she can not. She just sit there and look. Sam kneels down in front of her:
"Are you okay, mom"
She, as though, is waken up from a frightening nightmare, suddenly sees and hears and speaks:
"I'm fine, sweetheart."
"Mom, please don't do this. I don't want to remember you this way. For God's sake, mom, please take a hold of you. I'm not going to death chamber, I am just going to Persian Gulf. I'll be back before you know it."
Hana finally stands up and hugs her son. There is no tears, no emotion there. She is like a piece of wood hugging her son. She is as dry as a piece of wood. Farhad comes and separates mom from Sam. Mario and Sam hug each other, a fatherly hug. Sam breaks up for him:
"Take care of my mom. I am worried for her."
"I will, Sam. Don't worry. You take care of yourself son. Be careful."
"I know; and one more thing you guys don't wait for me for your wedding. If I am not back by then, just go ahead and get married."
"I want to but I don't know about your mom; you know how she is."
"The first thing I do, when I get there, I write her a letter or call her and ask her to marry you for my sake on Valentine's day as you have planned."
~~
Back in Dallas, Hana thinks about taking a couple of weeks of vacation. Her despondent feeling frightens her of not being able to perform as usual in her new position as the supervisor in the company she works. Mario thinks that is not a good idea.
"You're better off working these days. Staying busy keeps your mind occupied from all these turmoils."
She thinks about what he says and finally agrees with him, since Farhad and Sylvie think the same way as Mario does.
The same day that Sam takes off for the Persian Gulf to participate in Operation Desert Storm, When they return home, Hana finds a contract from a publisher in her mail box. How strange! Should she get this contract in a different time, it would be the happiest moment of her life; however, things are very different now. Achieving this was not easy. Hard work and persistence have finally paid off. Mario, Farhad and Sylvie are overwhelmed by this news and they congratulate her for this very difficult accomplishment. Mario, in a very pleasant way, says:
"Can I sign your contract as a witness, Hana? You'll be a famous writer one day and I want to brag that I signed your first contract as a witness."
Of course Hana agrees. She needs two witnesses and Farhad signs as a second witness. She keeps a copy of her contract for herself and mails the original copy to the publisher the next day. According to the cover letter, the target time for her book to be published will be the Summer of 1991. Hana wishes that she knew about this one day earlier, so she could tell Sam about it! However things never go exactly the way people want them.
Every evening after work, Hana is glued to television to watch the news about Persian Gulf war. Her television is set on the twenty four hours news channel. As she hears the repeated victory of American advanced fighter planes with the allies' help, she begins to feel a little better.
"Saddam can not do a dam thing against us." She thinks. "We're powerful. We're not like Iran after Revolution, weakened and worn out." Then it comes the news of Iraqi's Nuclear Airplanes. Even though the news is hazy, it frightens her. She knows that Saddam is capable of doing such thing if he can not confront the powerful American Fighter Aircrafts.
Torn between depression and pride of her son's involvement in defending the interests of the country they all have adopted, she goes on with her normal, everyday life until three weeks later after Sam's departure. She gets a call from Sam in Dhahran. In fact, she has been contacting the agency which helps families of the soldiers to know about their loved ones everyday; and they repeatedly tell her that there is no casualties in American part.
As Sam's voice comes from the other side of the world very unclear and hazy, she indulges the pleasure of talking to her son and knowing that he is all right. However, the conversation is very short because of the sudden disconnection. She does not have the chance to rain her son with all her questions about his safety.
She refuses Mario's offer to celebrate the New Year eve in a hotel. How can she? However, Farhad, Sylvie, and Hana go to Mario's home that evening. This is the first time after Sam's departure that she is not in her own home. The entire evening she is so uncomfortable that everyone notices that. After dinner, which becomes the admiration of Farhad and Sylvie that what a good cook Mario is, Farhad finally asks his mother what bothers her. She says:
"What if Sam calls? I need to go home."
Mario does not argue. Farhad thinks that he is such a wonderful man to put up with his mom, and Sylvie regrets that they have to go since she loves Mario's back yard.
The party breaks up way before midnight; and they all decide to go to Hana's home and carry on the rest of the evening there and wait for twelve o'clock when 1991 begins.
Even though Mario and Hana's relationship grows much deeper and they become closer in many ways, their intimacy becomes less and less and slowly disappears completely. As Mario is very understanding and sensitive man, who has only one goal in this relationship, to please Hana and to give her a good life, he does not mind this new way at all. To him, intimacy is not only a man thing or a one way act, but it is a mutual understanding, love, sharing, and take and give. When Hana apologizes for her recent coldness, he hugs her gently and says:
"Listen, honey, I'm not an animal. I understand. I'll be the same way If I were you."
As Hana's life may create envy for an outsider, for this foreign woman has a son in service which is very honorable act, has another son in college and soon to be married to a very nice girl, has a supervising position in a very well known company, has a very respectable and rich fiance, who can have any woman he wants but has chosen her, has a book soon to be published, and more to come, to her, it lacks something more grandiose than anything else she has known, the present of her younger son to witness all these, and her constant worrying for Sam's safe return home.
Her concentration is so poor these days that every time she tries to write, the words scatter and disappear in her mind.
"When I try to put the words on the page,
They scatter in the wind with rage.
Only one line echoes in my head;
Inquisitive eyes, all of a sudden, and dread."
To Be Continued
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