As I continue writing Hana's story, something strange is happening to me. I am losing my power, ability, and my thinking. Occasionally my hands get numb and I can not hold the pen. One time my mind went blank completely and I could not recognize my surroundings. As my eyes sight are becoming weaker everyday, I can not see what Hana does or goes. As my brain fails to respond, I can not discern what is in Hana's mind. It seems to me that I am sick of a terrible , fatal disease. I guess the end of me is coming soon, I assume, and all I have left to do is to finish the story I have begun, my joint story with Hana. I have been the aggressor in our mutual life while she has been submissive. With my help during her life up to now, she has been able to live a double life, to fantasize when things were unendurable, and to have an imaginary friend to write to or talk to. Now she is gaining power and I am losing it. As I am fading away, I only have one more desire and that is to end this book. I do not know how the story will end, not yet; however, I am going to beg her to give me a little more time to complete this task with the last strand of energy I have left. When the light of day time appears, my weakness progresses; therefore, as I choose nights to write, my eye sight diminishes. I remember the time I hated Hana's habit of staying awake at nights and keeping me awake, too. She has always told me that she is a night person. Now as I grow older, I want to sleep at night like any normal human beings and to be active at day time; but as I said the light of the day weakens me even more and I must complete what I have begun, her story, her creating me, her suffering, her tribulations, her joys, her falling in love, her disappointments, her nightmares, her immigration, and now her new adventures. I am Lila.
I see her back from her date with Mario. I know how she enjoyed the opera, but I also know that she broke her promise to herself and got intimate with Mario again. Just look at her. How different she looks; how happy she looks. I guess since she really did not have any teenager years for the style of life she lived and the crowd, that big crowd in her house, which made her to be always depressed in her closet- like room, now she wants to act like a teenager. Just look at her. She is murmuring a song. I've never seen her this way. I think now is a good time to talk to her. She is in a good mood. Just look at her the way she is getting out of her clothes and putting a nightgown on instesd of a pajamas. I must talk to her now.
"Hana..."
"It is you, what do you want?"
"I must talk to you."
"Oh, please don't ruin my mood!'
"That is why I want to talk to you because you're in a good mood."
"All right, Go ahead, just be quick. I need to get some sleep."
I don't dare to tell her that she could have come home a little sooner instead of one in the morning; but I know my limits.
"I want you to give me some energy. I am dying and you know it. Let me just finish your and my story. That is all I want. Does it mean anything to you that I am dying?"
"Oh, come on Lila. You act as though you really exist."
"I do exist. You created me. Now you completely ignore me. Haven't I help you a lot?"
Hana goes to a deep thinking which means a deep furrow between her eyebrows, and then:
"You're right, Lila. I could not have survived without you. I do anything for you."
"Thank you." Lila says while disappearing without any manifestation.
{~}
To Be Continued
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