As the hot summer of Dallas was showing its stony face, Anna realized that there was no reckoning with life. Everything was dominated by sunshine, as she was full of blood of life, and planets were woven green and gold shimmering juice. The naked truth of life was more than her comprehension. She thought dizzily, as she walked in the midst of the intense rolling of sunshine. It appeared to her as if the splendor of her vision and ambition were being ablaze in this overwhelming forge, abandoning her like an awkward dying tree from thirst.
Strangely, Joseph was feeling much better, like a calm before storm; nevertheless, that temporary good feeling was not an unknown symptom to her. She knew by experience that most terminal patients transitory would feel good at the end. It was a horrifying sensation for her and a pleasant one for him. She strove not to show her tremendous fear to her husband. For the first time in the last six months, he felt like walking to the back yard. He had yearned so much for their ardent discourse.
There, where a soothing breeze traveled from the fruit trees into the gazebo, he asked her to bring a bottle of wine and two glasses, as they used to do in the beginning of their marriage. She was reluctant to do so, but how could she take away one of his last desires; to be within his own creation, the gazebo, out in the nature, having conversation, drinking wine, and smoking his cigar. He never liked the rules that tied people to do things which caused no harms to others.
That evening he was a teacher again, his normal self. In the course of the conversation, both forgot that he was sick. His self showed no agony. Sitting on the wrought Iron chair, she like old days, put her feet on his lap and he began massaging them. As wine slowly warmed their blood, they relaxed and drowned themselves in the discourse while rocking their chairs. He was himself again, his natural self that she adored about him. Nature cooperated with them and stars shone and full moon was in full bloom.
"It's an epuhoria to be here again. I've forgotten how the yard looks like." He seemed happy.
"I'm so glad that you feel better. I've missed this, too."
"You don't sound enthusiastic. What is bothering you? Are you worried for me?"
"Nothing bothers me. I'm fine." Her voice was saddened by her emotion of fear which she wanted to believe it was happiness. But it could not be hidden from him.
"Tell me, sweet heart, why are you sad? Are you scared? What is holding you to be happy? Look at this beautiful sky. Enjoy it. Who cares what happens tomorrow."
She stayed silent for awhile. He could not see in the dark her cloudy eyes. He knew well her sensitivity and the things she had faced in her life.
"You're a strong woman. Don't let your emotion destroy you. You are a fighter. You've always been a fighter. See what you've accomplished in your life!"
Suddenly her silent sobbing changed to a roar of uncontrollably cry. Wine was affecting her resilience. He stayed unspoken for awhile and let her cry. He understood that all her past experiences and the one year of his sickness had taken their toll on her and finally breaking her. After she had no tears to shed anymore, he poured more wine in both glasses and Anna started a cigarette.
"Dueling in past is robbing the present. You need to put all those behind you. You're safe with me. This is the least I can do for you after all you've done for me. I know my situation is not an easy one. I am so lucky to have you to go through this with." His voice sounded euphonious. It was like a harmonious symphony.
To Be Continued
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