Chapter Eight,}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Passages

In the center, the brightest pearl is always set;
In the essence of the mind and heart.
Passages from one heart to other have met.
Crossing without obstacles from start.

And if there is no barrier or wall,
Why do we need doors or locks at all?'

In illusion we see sunrise;
But it is the sunset in a gray day.
Feeling sad, I cry, I despise.
But as I look around, I dismay.

Who is not sad or in blaze?
Who is not foggy or in daze?
*
In the dark room, on the floor, Anna was sitting, hugging her knees. As her eyes slowly became accustomed to the dark, she saw the shadows of her imaginations in the light. She thought about all those empty years. A haunting vision of the other half of life, the motherhood, the womanliness, the care taking symbol, the exalted, splendid, and amenable other half captured her. She suffered by her own thought and remembered her miscarriage. She never got to know what the motherhood was all about. That Strong part of her stayed undiscovered for ever. It was with the bitterness of the world turning in vague or the universe moving aimlessly and exasperatedly through the darkness that she thought of those visions. "The world is a very lonely place." She said that repeatedly and aloud. "Now I am in worse prison than ever." She felt numb, heard nothing, saw no shadows, and sensed no sensation.
Joseph's health worsened after that night out in the gazebo, as she had predicated. Vision of bliss slipped away unfairly. She pondered over the abyss of desertion she was caught in its web while clenching her teeth. The lifeless world seemed unreal; and as she conjured up a vision, a life, she felt anguish and anxiety were creeping. "I may as well go with him." She thought. "How can I bury the second man that I've ever loved?" But immediately she investigated her feeling. The love she had for Joseph was very different than the love she had for Steve. This one was a mature love and understanding; the other had been an escape, a transient passion of youth. Thought and feeling that she would not like to bring onto the surface, hammered her like many inquisitive eyes and she drowned herself one more time in them.
*
Festivity was over; good times and easy life were not around any longer. When Shahzdeh had said that after six months he would not send money to Aria, Anna had thought that he might change his mind, but he did not. The brawl began between Rosy and Aria when he suggested that they both needed to get a job.
"Why do I need you for if I have to get a job?" Rosy broke in rudely.
"Is that why you married me, my money?"
Rosy shuddered but she turned her back to him. She had showed her real self to her husband, something that Anna knew from the beginning.
Anna volunteered to give half of her money to Aria; however that was not enough for the extravagant life that Rosy was used to it. Aria went to his sister apartment unannounced one Sunday afternoon, exactly one month after their father had stopped sending him money. His face was red and his eyes were feverish.
"Rosy left me. She moved out."
Anna knew instinctively of this inevitable outcome. She had been able to unravel Rosy's mind the first minute she saw her.
"Sit down, Aria. It's not the end of the world."
"She never loved me. She wanted my money. She used me."
"relax, I know." You're better off without her."
"How can you say that? I love her. How can she do this to me?"
Anna let her brother to discharge all his anger; and when he was finally calm, she went to him and hugged him.
"Listen, I know how upset you are now. I understand it. I am sure one day you'll meet a nice woman, someone that loves you for you."
"Woman! I'm done with that."
"I know you're hurt now. I don't blame you. But let's be logical. You have a wonderful future. You'll be a doctor one day. Things will change." Her vehement talk brought a warmth to Aria.
What do I do without you? You're my anchor even though I'm eight years older than you. I am ashamed of the way I treated you when you were living with us."
"Don't, that wasn't you. What are you going to do now?"
"I don't know. I'm devastated."
"I hope these things don't interfere with your school!"
"I don't know."
"Do you want us to live together again if it helps you?"
"I don't think so. You need to have a life. You don't want to put up with a depressed person."
"What a sister is for, then? Actually I think it is a right thing to do right now."
"I don't know. I think about it."
He hugged his sister. It felt good to know someone loved him truly.

To Be Continued