In love, there would be no such thing as more or less! Helen loved her children; she could not say that she loved her daughter with one kind of love and her son with another! But she also loved her first born, the son of Jacob, whom she had never even had a glimpse of! He would be four years old soon, she thought. "Is God punishing me for the murder of Mark with the Roger's hand and because of me? Is he punishing me that I didn't tell Jacob that we had a son together, and perhaps gave him the opportunity to raise his son?"
Christopher was a calm child, nothing like Elizabeth, much easier than her. Helen had much more peaceful time to breastfeed him. He would suck on her breast with his hungry eyes! He became mommy's boy from the moment he was born. "Oh, if I had not caught by Steve and went ahead with abortion, how terrible I would feel now?!"
Although Steve was happy that they had finally had peace at home, he did not like the fact that the children, specially Elizabeth had become much closer to Helen than him. He kind of accepted Chris's attachment to his mother, since he was a baby and Helen was nursing him. However he had recalled the days that Elizabeth ran to meet him at the door when he came home from his three or four days work. Now she was always in the nursery with mommy and little Chris. That was how she called her little brother!
Helen knew as long as she nursed Chris, she would not get pregnant, even though her doctor told her that there was always possibility of getting pregnant while nursing. However, she did not want to be tricked by Steve again! There was this new thing which was called IUD. When Chris was six months old, she went to a doctor, a different gynecologist, someone that had never seen her, so Steve would not find out about it. She had the doctor to implant an IUD in her uterus. She still had a lot of money left in her little black bag. She did not have to use the money that Steve gave her for the household expenses. She did not have to use her real name or her insurance. This secret she would keep for herself for ever!
Her connection with her children was so strong and beyond measure that she had a hard time to share them with Steve when he was home! She told herself once:
"Some women love their men for their depravities, I hate mine for his goodness!!"
Steve began showing his true jealousy and disgust towards Helen. He blamed her for lack of interest of his children towards him. Once he picked up Chris. Suddenly he began crying so loud and out of control that Helen ran from the kitchen.
"What did you do to him?" She asked him.
But before he was able to answer, Christopher raised his little arms towards his mother and said: "Mama, mama!" These were the first words he had ever spoken! It was sudden and unexpected. He was about eight months old now and compare to Elizabeth, Helen thought that he was slow in saying words like Mama, or Dada!!
To Be Continued
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