The thought of the monotonous succession of days and nights made her heart to palpitate with true advance of this passing of time, like a tick tack of the clock. This Nerve racking closeness with Steve for someone like her that had been alone for the last three years was too difficult to contemplate! The eternal repetition of hours, days, ... Oh, God ... They were so awful! There was no escape from them, no escape at all! All she looked at was the same and yet changed. Since the birth of the baby on May twenty seventh to the day that she went back to work at the end of august, she thought numerous time to end her life! She wished that Steve fought with her, or left home for a few hours; but no, he did not fight, he did not leave the house except when he had job interviews. She could not even cry since he was home and questioned her: "Why are you crying?" She had never seen herself this weak; but for some unknown reason, she had lost that wild nature, the one, who was ready to fight, who enjoyed to fight!
Steve found a job towards the end of summer. He really got what he wanted! A very reputable airline hired him as a pilot, the first officer for their overseas flight. He was very lucky that he was beginning as a very high rank pilot for his first job after military! He even got the route he wanted, to fly to Western Europe. He did some piloting for a few times before he was hired. It was a long process of hiring, but he finally got what he wanted. Helen was tired of listening to his gloating about himself. However she had lost her will to tell him, "Stop it, enough of bragging!" She wished he could start right away so she could have some time alone before she had to go to work; but that was not the case. He was starting around Thanksgiving.
Helen had lost her desire for love making after the birth of the baby. She was not the same sexy Helen anymore. She did not and could not enjoy love making anymore! Steve knew this. He had guessed it; therefore, there was not a day in this period of time that they were home together at home, in this summer of horror for Helen, that he did not approach her for sex; some days more than once. He prolonged it since he knew this way he was hurting her and she could not or would not utter a word, because if she did, then he would say: "Oh, I'm not good enough for you any more." Or: "Are you thinking about your boyfriend?"
To Be Continued
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