This post is not for children and may be offensive to some!!!!!!!!
Father held his head up and muttered: "You're small and pale!"
He touched Helen's face with his rough and coarse hand. The construction work had made his hand crude and chapped. Helen felt something inside her burning and cutting her heart in to pieces! When she felt that he had removed his hand from her face and touching her in places that her mother told her many times, "Never allow a stranger to touch you there!" But father was not a stranger! Her body began to twitch; but her mother had never told her that fathers were not allowed to touch their daughters in those areas. She knew that her sister, who shared the room with her, was awake. Charlotte told her that she knew all about it. There was envy in her voice as if she was saying: "Why you, not me?"
Father moved his hand up and down her little body. She liked everything he did to her except the kissing. Her father's breath smelled of tobacco. It was a harsh and nasty odor. She told him once: " Dad don't kiss me. I don't like it."
"Come on, honey! you're my special child. You know that, don't you? Don't be like your mother? It all begins with kissing!"
So Helen learned that she was not the only one dad kissed; that her mother did not like it either!
"But dad, your mouth smells! I don't like it!"
"Don't think about it. Think about the privilege you have that your father loves you so much!"
So she tried to convince herself that kissing was part of father's love for her. She agonized over the sharp and pungent odor of tobacco, yet she tried to think about the special love her dad had for her.
The real intimacy did not happen until she was ten years old. Her father had begun to come to her bed when she was eight years old. He always satisfied himself by different means! The day she turned ten, her mother backed a birthday cake for her and invited some families and friends. This year party was better than years past. Charlotte was very envious. Her crying and acting up all that day proved to mother that she was just a little eight years, jealous girl, who envied her older sister so much. She promised her that when she turned ten, she would get a birthday party even better the one for Helen.
That night, Helen waited for dad to come to her bed. After all she had turned ten. He came a little later than usual; after taking his clothes off, he threw himself on the bed, next to her and said:
"Your mom wanted me. Everyone wants me; but I want you! Isn't that an honor for you?"
"Yes, dad!" Helen's voice was soft and shaky. She added: "Do you do these things with mama, too?"
"Sometimes! I have to. If I don't, then she might not let me come to you!" He kissed her deep and long in her mouth. Then continued:
"Because today was your tenth birthday, we're going to do something very special tonight!" Helen wanted to know what "very special" was. Charlotte, on her bed, was listening. Her being upset all day, carried itself all the way to bed. She began crying silently and thought to herself: "Why always Helen not me!"
Dad lay down next to Helen and began kissing her. She had forgotten about the pungent odor of the chewing tobacco which she had always complained about it. She recopicated and kissed her dad back. It was a delight! that was dad's description of being with her. He touched her and asked her to touch him; so she did. All of the sudden the room lighted up. He sat up, but the light went off at once. Both Helen and dad saw it was mother, who had turned the light on and off and was leaving the room.
"Was that mom?" Helen asked.
"Who cares my love. She won't do anything. " He continued his kissing and touching. Slowly he began undressing his daughter.
"Dad, you never did this! I don't like it!"
"Oh, sweet heart, you will, you will... I bet Charlotte is so jealous now. I know she is awake now. Let's ask her. If you don't like it, I can go to her!"
"No, no, dad, it's okay!" But dad called Charlotte anyway:
"Do you want to come here? Have fun and loving with us?"
That night the two sisters slept with their father. They competed in pleasing him. They did everything he asked them to do. To them, this was love, love of a father to his children. Being special, he made them to kiss him and to kiss each other. He had both of them that night. They both cried of pain. It hurt them a lot. Their mother listened to the whole thing behind the door, and did nothing!!!!
✔
To Be Continued
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