When they lowered her father's casket into the depth of the earth, Helen was thinking about the discussion they had had only a few months before his death. She wanted her father to confess to what he had done to her and her sister. She had tried it with her mother many times; but each time she accused her of lying. She took a weekend and went to Chicago. Her parents still lived in the same house that she was raised. This trip was unannounced! She rang the bell. Her mother opened the door. The unhappiness of seeing her daughter behind the door glared in her face.
"Oh, it's you! you didn't call?!"
"No, mom, I didn't. I won't stay long. I must talk to dad!"
"Not again! Why don't you let go of all these lies you've made and even influenced Charlotte to say the same thing?!"
"Mom, you know I'm not lying. Let me just come in. I'll leave tonight. I won't be long! Aren't you at least happy to see me after all these time?"
She saw her dad coming down the stairs.
"What is all these noises?" He still had the same tone of voice as if aging had never affected him. His voice was exactly as it was when he was purring love words on her ears eons ago.
"Helen is here." Mother said in an abrupt, incisive intonation. She stepped back so Helen could come inside. She did not have any suitcase or bag with her.
"She is not staying long. She is here for the same old stuff!" Mother said with a derisive smile in the corner of her lips.
Helen helped herself and sat on the old love seat they had had since she was a little girl.
It was a cold wintery days. As usual wind was whistling. Snow had fallen the night before and it was expected more bad weather to come. Mother went to the kitchen. It was late in the morning. The house felt cold, damp, and old like its occupants. Dad sat across from her, putting one leg under the other. He had had a bad back for a long time. He always said that sitting this way helped to ease the pain in his back.
"So, how you're doing? How are your kids?" He said it in a way as though he was saying : "What the hell are you doing here?"
"We're all fine! I'm here dad, for the last time. I want you dad, for the sake of my sanity, once and for all confess to what you did to Charlotte and me! My therapist tells me that your confession will help me to heal! I..."
At this point mother came to the room.
"What are you guys are talking about?" Her head jerked furiously.
"The same old stuff that she doesn't let go off! She's come all the way here to get a confession from me! can you believe that?"
"Oh, my lord!" Mother said frowning slightly, and then continued:
"Why are you making up all these stories? Why don't you leave us alone?"
"Mom, you know it, too. You saw it many times. You just went along with it because you didn't know what to do, how to live on your own?! What kind of mother are you? I know you saw it more than once; and then ran out of the room!"
"You just stop it now! leave us!" mother showed her exasperation in a way that Helen had never seen.
"No, I won't leave until he tells me what he'd done to Charlotte and me!"
"I've never done anything to you two. You're just crazy. You're making all these things up. Look at Charlotte, four marriages, five kids, now I heard she is doing drugs and stuff. And you no better than her. Do you want to tell me these are all our faults?! You two are just awful and embarrassing to us!"
On the way back home that evening. Helen thought that she would never get a confession from her father or mother!
Watching they threw dirt on her father's casket, put an end to all these! Now coming back from burying her mother, the affliction of her childhood would stay unsolved for ever. How such a suffering could end now?
✍
To be continued
No comments:
Post a Comment