Secrets- `~~`Chapter Five

By the time Thui came to the conclusion that she did not need any men, even Chean, she learned she was pregnant. That knowledge hurt her tremendously especially having in mind a plan to change her life. She was the house keeper of this American, the old man, who had a house in Vietnam because of a strange love, or something that Thui did not know about, for her country. She had already learned enough English to communicate with him. He also loved to teach her while always this teaching was combined with flirting and touching her. Thui called her dog. "All men, young, old, or ancient like this one , are like dogs, all they want from women is to get them to bed." She always told herself about this old man and all men in general. But this old man was her ticket to America. He was a retire military man that his wife had passed many years earlier. He had grown up children and grandchildren in America. He had been both in Korean War and Vietnam War. He spent six months of the year in Vietnam and the other six month in America. when he was in Vietnam, he did not mind to use young Vietnamese girls for his entertainment. He paid good money, and all those girls, who were poor, took advantage of it. However, he could not do the same with Thui. She was smarter than other girls and she had a plan. She would allow him to kiss her on the cheek or touch her hand but nothing more. She wanted to show him that she was not like other girls; she was decent and moral. Now being pregnant would interfere with her plan, her dream!

Very soon, her mother noticed her morning sickness, and confronted her. Thui told her the truth about being pregnant and her boyfriend Chean. Her mother almost ruined all her plans when she insisted on that they should get married.

Thui had no choice but to tell Chean about her pregnancy and about her mother's idea that they should get married. Secretly she wished Chean to deny her; and he did. Having no job, this seventeen years old boy did not know how to take care of a wife and a child, even if the wife continued working here and there. Thui pretended that she was very angry and sad. She told him nasty words. But in reality she thought about her dream: "If he agrees, I'll find a way out of it, If he doesn't, I'll be content." She never saw Chean again, except a few times in passing which they acted like two strangers.

Meanwhile the old American man, Harold, was in America and he was not due back for another six months. He never spent his Summers in Vietnam. Thui had the key to his house and was employed by him to keep up the house, specially considering the extreme humidity and population of insects. She knew how to do that. She had to air the house everyday so there would be no mold anywhere and she knew of this method of how to get rid of insects. She used gasoline on the front step of the house and in the back of each window. She would repeat that twice a month.

She estimated by the time the old man would return, the baby would be already born, and she would think about it then.

In that six month, she learned more English, studied American History and some even American Literature; and most especially a perception of the connection and cohesion of man and his boundless aptitude. Nevertheless, with all the dedication she had for her plan, she hated her growing body. Sometimes she looked at her rising stomach with an animal-like look in her eyes. Those occasions were among the very rare times that tears rolled down her angry face.

She was not very much aware that the basis of her life was changing. However for the little consciousness she had of this transformation, she contemplated how best she could allocate herself to this change. The hot and humid summer came, the insects returned, and she remained detached, fat, and mystified. She spent most of her time in the old man's house, even slept there.

Then one day in September, when the early sunset gave her the indication that Summer was about to end, she felt renewed again. she moved around the old man's house in a way as if she had come to a very important decision. The baby was due to be born in a month; and the old man was to return in a little over a month.

She liked to see how the grass turned yellow, how the leaves turn brown and fell to the ground. She walked far, ignoring her back pain, where she could see the boundless beauty of her country. Walking, she thought about how to bring the old man to marry her. This thought for her now was life itself. If she could make this man want him badly, she felt, then she would be able to escape from the poison of poverty. To be with Harold probably would be another slavery; but only for awhile, only up to the time she would get to America. For her, America was the complete vision of life; and to get there, anything, anything, even deception would be warranted. it seemed as though all the longing for being in America were concentrated on her graceful, pregnant body, and in her evil, dangerous mind.

To Be Continued