"I've never felt that lying to you was a good idea, but everybody else thought otherwise. They all said what is the sense of telling you what really happened to Uncle Behroz. You know I had to go along with it. Grandma specially made us swear that we never tell you the truth. She said that you'd already had a miserable life with that evil husband of yours. You know I had to go along with it. I don't think lying to you, specially they way grandma insisted, was in a malicious way but it was for a good reason, since we all knew how close you and Behroz were to each other. The family didn't want to hurt you as they all knew that you had enough hurt and misery of your own. Now after so many years, after passing of grandma, and because I knew you'd never believed the car accident story ( we should have made another believable story like cancer), as I've read in your letters constantly, 'Tell me the truth', I feel It is time to write to you and put an end to your long ambiguity for his death. Behroz committed suicide. He was found one morning on his bed dead. He didn't leave any note or words behind. He took his life with arsenic."
Hana can not read anymore. Her hysterical sobbing fills the room. To her, Behroz did not die seven years ago but right now. She has never healed from the scar his death caused her; nevertheless, that old wound begins bleeding as though she is injured at this precise moment. Behroz, her lovable, intelligent uncle, her best friend, the one who introduced her to deep thinking and reading, poetry and writing, and a person that she trusted more than life itself, is dead. He did not die seven years ago, but right now when finally all these long obscurities come to clarity. He preferred to end his life rather than living in an environment that was not conducive for a genius like him.
Hana spends another insomniac night in her room, but this time is not for her own wretchedness but it is for Behroz. She ponders to put herself in his place in the moment he acted on his final decision. While tossing in bed, getting up, smoking, and walking in her apartment, not only she finally knows and understands, she also realizes that she would have done the same if she did not have any children. As well as she knows Behroz, she is certain in that moment, he had felt an extreme sense of hopelessness and helplessness which turned to an exaggerated, yet hidden courage against himself while thinking nothing in life had been what he wanted to be. He had swallowed that bitter poison either because he did not have the skills for enduring the life anymore or he was tired for enduring life as long as he had.
At breakfast, Farhad notices his mother's swelling and red eyes.
"What is it, mom? Have you been crying?"
Hana is not sure if her son will understand her painful mourning for her dead uncle, who died seven years ago; nonetheless, she must answer him.
"I had this letter from Mina!" She stops. Tears flow again.
To her surprise when she tells her son the reason for her sorrow, he not only understand but he empathizes with her as well. As young as he was when they lived in Iran, he never knew the depth of his mother's closeness to Behroz; nonetheless, he has learned by his own observation how precious a real friend can be. He knows when a friendship begins at childhood, it is always more meaningful. After Hana is calm or appears to be, Farhad, who has waited since yesterday to know about an issue, asks her:
"What is your relation with Mario?"
Hana, as though something hits her on head, becomes disoriented while thinking: "How does he know?" Then she recalls Mario and Farhad's talking with each other. While trying to hide her nervousness, she says:
"Oh, he is Valery's cousin. I met him in Valery's birthday once."
"No, mom, you met him twice. It is all right. You can tell me."
"What do you want me to tell you? I don't have any relation with him. Why are you asking?"
"I think he is very much interested in you. I find him very intelligent."
She is very surprised of her son's discernment while she is not sure if that statement is true or is a trap to make her talk.
"Yes, he has told me. He wants us to be friend, but I don't!"
"Why not mom? You need a friend. You were just talking about uncle Behroz. He was your friend more than he was your uncle. Now that Valery is married, perhaps you'll see less of her. I don't see anything wrong with that!"
She does not believe what she hears. she recalls their conversations over a month ago, when Farhad's resistance for her to have a female friend cost them some weeks of hostility. He has finally come to understand that his mother is a human being, too; and besides taking care of his brother and him, she also needs to have a life.
To Be Continued
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