Every evening, walking from school homeward without knowing truly the torturous, tragical streets of Tehran in future for the change of regime, or where much heavier and weightier sorrow than hers had been happened under the stars in past, Neda looked around and still did not know what she was searching for! She looked for anything to give her an answer; any sign to show her a way, something pleasing; but she knew that she could not find that one thing. If she did, if she saw what would enchant her, she most likely recognized it.
She had not seen Sohrab for seven months. Sima had a baby Girl. They named her Mina. She said Mina rhymed with Sima. How appropriate! She claimed that she had lost a sister named Mina at very young age; that was why she chose that name for her little girl. No one really knew about her past life and the reason she had not married at a younger age. Neda was certain that her dad knew it. Father was like a toy in Sima's hand, especially since the baby was born. What ever Sima said was like a word of God to him, particularly now that the old man had a baby.
Mehri for some reason or no reason at all, fell in love with this new blood in their home, baby Mina, the child of her rival. This happened right away. Very soon, Mehri turned to be a baby sitter or a nanny to baby Mina. Again Neda suffered to see her mother's low self esteem. She saw everyday that her mother became lower in her role and higher in her lack of personality. Sohrab heard about all these by one of Neda's letter; and father, oh father again, he was so proud of having this baby, so beautiful, so much like Sima that he could not stop talking about it. He was not ashamed to show his pride to anyone but Neda. At this point Neda knew that father would not resist if Neda asked to live on her own and with Maryam. On the other hand, she knew because of egoism and the society, he could not allow such thing no matter how much he wanted to. He could not get rid of Neda through another marriage since he knew that Neda would rather to kill herself than marry again. Neda and Maryam had broken a wish bone together that none of them would ever get married.
Life was terrible in that house. She hated that life; she hated her new half sister; she hated everything. If she could not have her own child, she called it, "stolen", she did not want to love any other child. Sima called her in front of everyone jealous. Neda said that she was right.
She caught her mother and Sima were talking about her one day in the kitchen, while mother was warming the baby's bottle in a pot of boiling water and Sima was standing with her hands at her waist.
"You know Mehri, Neda never touches my baby. After all Mina is her sister!"
"Come on Sima! You know she is busy with school and all these writing she does. I don't believe you should think that way about her." Mother said in a soothing way.
Sima looked at Mehri frustrated and said:
"I don't think she would have made a good mother anyway. All she thinks about is her writing. Ariana is better off with her dad and step mom." Sima's tone of voice was bitter.
"Stop it Sima! That is not a right thing to say! What choice does she have? Besides how do you know how she feels? How do you know if she made a good mother or not? She never had a chance!"
Obviously Mehri did not like Sima's comment about her daughter even though by now the two rivals were like best friends; but not to Neda! Sima was using her mother, while her mother was thinking that they were friends. Father had peace at home between his two wives especially since he did not see Neda very often because of her school.
"You know what I think Mehri! I have figured it all out. She is jealous that I have a baby and she doesn't!"
Neda left her hiding place and ran upstairs to her father's room where all those books of his had introduced her to the world of writing and poetry, and the love for literature. Father was dozing behind his desk with his pipe in his mouth and his hands on a thick open book. Neda'a sudden entrance brought him back from his slumber and trance. For a moment or two, he looked at Neda through the haze of his stupor. Then suddenly he said:
"What, what, what is the matter?'
"I'm moving out dad." She said it matter factly.
Jalal was now completely out of his lethargic world.
"What did you say?'
"You heard me, dad!'
"How dare you to speak even of such thing?'
"I dare because you ruined my life! I dare because you made my mother a servant to your second wife! I dare because you stole my mother's money! I dare because your wife calls me jealous and not a good mother..."
"Ho, ho, ho, stop! What are you talking about?" He banged his fists on the table loudly.
"Go ask your sweet wife. You have made my mother to listen to Sima's description of me for a piece of bread. You have used all her money and then vomited on her. If she wants to live like this, that is her business, but I don't!"
To Be Continued
No comments:
Post a Comment