Days followed nights. Sohrab and Maryam came to Neda's apartment often in the evenings and for dinner. Neda turned out to be a good cook. Kasra, her editor, was almost there every day and evening. He had become very close to Neda. Their friendship was more than editor and a client, especially for Kasra. Some nights that was real late, Kasra stayed and slept in Sohrab's old room. They had no intimacy. They would if they wanted to but they did not. No one ever asked kasra about his life, parents, if he had any sisters or brothers, his education, how he got to the editing business, or where he lived. Those were not the things they cared to talk about. For Neda, her publisher had sent him to her, and that was good enough for her. One evening when Neda saw Maraym so happy in her little life and big marriage, she said to her:
"What happened, Maryam? I thought you never wanted to get married!" When she said that, for some strange reason she blushed like a rose of spring.
Maryam took Neda's question seriously and began defending herself:
"I don't know. I thought so, too. But when I got to know Sohrab, how could I not love him, or marry him? He is the best!"
Sohrab waved his hand with a loud laughter to show that he was not the best. Maryam continued without hesitation:
"What about you and Kasra? Are you two...?"
Neda cut her off before she was able to finish:
"No, no, we're just friends, aren't we Kasra? He is so valuable to me. I need his help. Someone has to organize me and that is him. Besides he is very good in editing all my mistakes; and believe me I do have a lot of them. He can figure the things that I write all over the place better than me." Neda looked at Kasra for affirmation.
"She is right. We are not made for marriage. We can be together from now to eternity and not be married." He paused for a moment and then continued:
"You, Neda has broken all the rules at such a young age. That is why among all her fans, she also has many enemies. I don't think she cares what people, even her own family, say about her. She does what she wants as long as she can create; and if a day comes that she can't create, then it doesn't matter anymore." Kasra widened his eyes and exhaled a soft stream of admiration for his boss and friend. Sohrab's face wreathed in smile:
"That is my little sis all right. I knew it from beginning, from the time that she was a little girl!" They all laughed.
They were days that Neda was happy without knowing why. She was delighted to be alive and breathing; she was ecstatic when her whole being was one with sunlight, the colors, the fragrance, the copious warmth of sunny days. Time like these, she liked to wonder alone to strange and unfamiliar places. She would find many sunny, sleepy little corners, so perfect to dream and to be alone and unmolested. She wrote the "THE SUN OF TOMORROW" in one of these deviated outing:
★
"The color of dusk wraps around sun.
A lonely tree in the vast lawn
Craves water and find none.
◎From the gloomy sky flees light
Towards the far horizon with spite.
Rain of light pours of red tulip of night.
◎The gray night opens its wing
To carry life on its wing.
Wild wind run and swing
◎To a silent humming, cities retire.
On the roof of night, stars inspire.
The wine of moonlight, I desire.
◎It is midnight and a cloud in vast sky
Abuses the moon with its threat and sigh;
And the old crow mock beautiful butterfly.
◎In the bosom of this night, I get a surprise.
The glow of your eyes becomes my prize.
Like sun of tomorrow that I never despise."
★
After everyone was gone, almost always when she was not in high spirit, she felt depressed rather than being soothed. Just a while ago, she had laughed, drank wine, smoked and had fun with the three people she dearly loved. A little glimpse of domestic harmony which had been hers for a few hours, gave her no regret, no longing. It was not the condition of her life that shockingly elevated her; but it was the hopeless dream of finding her daughter; and she could see her life but an alarming and hopeless weariness.
To Be Continued
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