Neda blurted these words out, and then got up from her chair and without eating left the room.
The Spilled water could not be put back in the jar, as Sima's pregnancy could not be hidden anymore. Father's attitude became much harsher than before. He became less communicative to others, specially Neda, than before. He had a right to another child, he thought. Nobody had an authority to object that; he had a privilege to his first wife's money! Mehri had no validity to ask for some of that money for their son's education. He had a lawful and moral claim to get married again; and no one should complain about it. He had a right to give his daughter into a marriage, almost arranged; no one had a say in it. He had earned his position as a man to be angry at her return. She did not have any right to tell him that his action had affected her for the rest of her life. So life, death, second wife, eternity, ruining one's daughter's life, cheating one's wife from her money, not helping one's son to get education, were all simple matters for anyone like Jalal, who had capability enough to do them. What he had conquered with enfolding arms, silently with no solitude, like compassion holding its breath, was only darkness for others.
That afternoon, Mehri told Neda:
"I don't understand you! You don't act like yourself. I know you still have not recovered from your pregnancy and child birth..."
Neda cut her mother off. She retorted, kindling like a fire at once:
"Don't you care that your rival is pregnant? Don't you care that they took my baby away from me and dad is going to have a baby? Don't you care that he wanted to get rid of me? Now, I'm back, weaker but wiser, more thoughtful yet still dependent!"
Mehri looked into her daughter's face. It was a new face, so delicate in its newness, in its glowing perplexity and dread! She put her arms around her daughter's neck and Neda buried her face on her mother's bosom. It looked like peace, just a simple peace, as Mehri stood folding Neda quietly in her arms. She noticed later where they were standing exactly where Neda had stood only several months back and looking with fright at the bloody water running down her legs. But for now it was peace between mother and daughter at last. The old, abhorrent hostility between them had gone away finally; Mehri's soul was strong and at ease.
They found out that Sima's baby was due in November; that meant that when Neda had given birth to her Ariana, Sima was pregnant. Neda thought and told her cousin, Maryam later when her mother was also in the room:
"Now perhaps dad after losing her grandchild to Mansour, after Sohrab leaving for draft, and after he had lost his love for me and mother, is not to blame for wanting to hide this baby from us as long as he could. Now he's going to have a baby younger than his grand child!"
When Neda was younger, she had always thought that father would be always with her, from then to now and later, and follow her to the end of earth where ever destiny would send her. She conjured up that once father had told her:
"You're always be my baby. I never let you go or marry!"
She was twelve years old then. Now her heart heaved. Now she could not find that place with her father, their special place, as her father used to say.
Sohrab's absence, finding out that soon she would have a half sister or brother younger than her own Ariana, her mother's return to moaning and complaining, Sima's increasing power in the house, and father's unapproachable ways, added to Neda's growing pain. At this point she did not want anything but her own place and leaving this place and everyone. If her father would help her financially at the beginning, as he had done to get rid of her a only a couple of years back, Neda thought she was able to do it. She did not have her diploma yet, but now she had a contract for a book of poetry. The advance payment and the royalty of the book would pay for her living if she kept things simple. Besides Maryam, her cousin had a decent income, too. Her first book's name, she decided would be "ARIANA".
To Be Continued
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