All her life, Neda was accustomed withholding thoughts and emotions which never voiced themselves in her writing. They had never taken the form of struggle. They belonged to her and were hers alone. She contemplated about the conviction which she had a right to it and it related to no one but herself. This new place was rented in Sohrab's name, since single women could not rent or lease unless they were old, grandmothers, widowed with older children and grandchildren. Here for Neda freedom was so heavenly that she could not stop thinking and then talking about it to Sohrab and Maryam. Why did she have to go through four years of despondency? To get to this freedom she had gone through a child that she could not see, and a dishonorable badge of divorced woman that she could not change! Wasn't that strange?
Their income was almost adequate. Neda's from the sale of her book and magazines, Maryam's from her job at the beauty parlour. Sohrab yet to find a job. He had worked for his father, had gone to service, and at the moment he had no job or perspective. But the two women loved him so much that they did not mind to pay his share, too. He had the greatest fight with his father before moving out. Jalal told him with all the anger that he could gather in his voice:
"Don't you ever come back here or the store anymore?"
Sohrab answered with a derisive smile on his lips:
"With pleasure!"
They parted. Mehri and her sister- in- law, zari, the two mothers visited them a few times a week. Life for them had become also easier by their children leaving them. But no way they would admit that to anyone especially their children! Besides, now the two mothers had some place to go. Mehri was almost jealous to her daughter for her courage; but she never mentioned it. She wanted to stay in a good relation with them, so she would not lose this freedom of leaving her home to go their home for visit. The two fathers, Jalal, and Mehri's brother, Maryam's dad, never went to see their children.
After they settled down, and when Neda got an advance for her second, upcoming book, she gave the money to Sohrab so he could go to the two years college of teacher training for becoming a teacher. He always wanted to become a teacher. He loved to teach and that was what he would do when he would graduate. So this was not out of desperation for him. Now he was a full time student. Maryam's job was full time; but she was paid only commission. She left home early in the morning and did not return till late in the evening. She had to work real hard to make good money. Her only day off was Friday, the holiday in Muslim countries. The apartment was Neda's during the day. She worked at home. Her writing became more clear, and mature. She used both free style and old style in her poetry. The publication of her second book was imminent. She had an argument with her publisher about the name of this book and they finally agreed on "SECRETS".
Now that she was free, she openly smoked. She had gotten into the habit of smoking after they ripped her baby from her; but no one knew about it in the other place. In this place, no one objected since both Maryam and Sohrab smoked, too. There was some strange connection between her smoking and writing which made her poems so much more cultivated. None of them minded to have a glass or two of wine with dinner. Not long after moving out of the claws of their father, they lived their lives entirely free.
To Be Continued
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