After all the years being married, Helen recalled the day she had asked Steve for a divorce one last time! She was forty four and Steve was forty five then. That was twenty four years ago! She was shocked to hear that he said yes this time!
"No fight, whatever you want you can take!" He had said.
She wondered why he had to say 'whatever you want'!? Wasn't everything they owned belonged to both of them? She had worked, too; if not outside of the home, since he did not allow it, she had worked even harder to keep everything in order and raise the children. She had used her own money in the little black bag. The bag was almost about half of what it had been at the beginning. She finally had a figure now. That money was over a million dollars. He was very uptight and stingy with the money he earned from piloting! He wanted Helen to give her a list of every penny that she spent. She had no choice but to go to her black bag. Children always needed things, her car sometimes needed repair, she needed clothes, and they were always giving big parties! He never gave her more money for any of these extras; so she had no choice but to take money from the little black bag. Besides, she also taught some at the same community college that she had taught three semesters. Every time that one of their teacher was sick or on maternity leave, they called her. But all these were besides the point; when Steve gave a positive answer to her final entreaty for divorce, something beyond imagination happened which delayed the divorce again. Helen thought that God was punishing her for something that she did not know what it was.
As she was conjuring up her past while driving to her boss's home, she almost had an accident. She opened the window, turned off the air condition of the car; and lit up a cigarette. She never used the ashtray of her car. Nowadays, it did not matter, since most cars did not have ashtrays. But this was a habit of her even when cars had ashtrays. She remembered even in old days with old cars, she had never used ashtrays and always had her left hand out of the car and let the ash of her cigarette flew away, only for claiming that she never smoked in her car! She did not want Steve to know it; even though they both were smokers! He did not like her to smoke in the house or in the car, yet he often smoked in his car! Steve thought that she was a woman that did anything she wanted without any fear of him or respect for him! She knew as tough as she appeared to be, She had always feared Steve!
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It was suddenly the original nature of Jacob which came face to face with her at the New Years Eve's party! She was there practically to celebrate the end of her college, finding a teaching job, and just being out for once before Steve would come home in a couple of weeks for his second leave. Helen could not stop her smile of seeing Jacob after all these years. She remembered how indifferent she was towards him when they both were sixteen years old and had taken the long ride in the bus from Chicago to Dallas! And later for just a few months that they had lived in the shelter and worked in the same place, how arrogant she was towards him! But now every cover was taken and stripped from her with his presence! Just he being there brought an undeniable happiness to her! the elation shone in her eyes. With his simplicity, she saw the nakedness of his soul without even talking to him. She discerned more clearly than ever the man she truly could love; something she was not aware of it till now!
She walked to the table that Jacob was sitting with three other men. There were no women with them. She was drinking a martini. The chiffon part of her dress kept catching under the tall heels of her shoes. She was not used to wearing high heels since she had run away from Roger's home. Even those days sometimes she took her shoes out until Roger saw it and had ordered her to put them back on. As complicated as everyone believed her to be, she was a very simple woman. It took her a while to walk to Jacob's table with her long dress, high heels, a glass of martini in her hand, and a jeweled small purse with long gold chain hanging from her shoulder.
To Be Continued
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