JUDAS KISS- Sixteen- The Agreement ✺ ☏ ☗ ☘ ☤ ☪ ☘

"tell me what you want!" Steve immediately talked about dividing their assets, or that was what Helen thought!

"I don't want anything. You keep everything. Just leave me with my children!

She said with no fear of him. She knew this time the divorce was for real!

"Are you joking? My children!? You're dreaming! No way!!"

It took them six months to settle. Meanwhile, Helen moved out of the house and rented a small, one bedroom apartment. Steve's girlfriend, Nancy had already moved in the house!

They at last agreed that Elizabeth and Christopher would stay at the house with their father because of their school; however, They could see their mother and spend time with her anytime Helen wanted. Helen thought this was a better arrangement, so the children's lives would not change dramatically and they could go to the same privet school. Besides Helen Liked Nancy, Steve's girlfriend. She was very good With the children; and the children liked her, too! It was down to the middle joint custody.

Helen refused to get half of the house or any of their belongings. She refused alimony which by Texas Law, she was eligible for it. Steve was shocked by Helen's generosity. He was also amazed that how she would make a living without any job or help from him! Nevertheless, she found a job very quickly; it was not the teaching that was her dream career, but it was the assistant or secretarial position to this well- known designer. She still had plenty money left in her little, black bag; but she was finally able to work. Helen just wanted to get out, to leave, to be free, lastly!

Caterina, was agreed to stay with Helen until she would be school age; then she would live with her father in the house, so she could go to the same privet school that her older siblings had gone! During the day, that she worked, Nancy baby sat Caterina.

Helen's lawyer told her that she was crazy that did not want any financial assistance or half of their belongings, since she had a right to them as the community property!

"What is the matter with you? I've never seen any woman like you! Most of the time women take their husbands to the cleaners in divorces. You're so strange!"

Helen laughed at her lawyer and said lastly:

"But I do want one thing! It is a long story!"

She told her lawyer about her first born, the son she had had with Jacob!

"What I want is to know who were the people who adopted him and how I can find him! I know Steve has all the information. They all locked in his safe!"

Steve, at last, agreed to share the adoption information with her. Elizabeth and Chris stayed in the house. Their lives did not change; their school did not change. They had seen the fights between their parents. Now, they saw their mother everyday; but they lived with their dad and his new wife, Nancy!

Helen went every morning to the house to drop Caterina, and to take Elizabeth and Chris to school. Nancy picked them up every afternoon; since Helen was still at work. When she got off work, she went to the house and picked up all her children. She spent the evening with them. They normally had dinner with their mom. She made sure that they did their home works. Then she took them to the house. Steve still had the same schedule. The little Caterina was now two years old.

Now Helen had the information that she had desperately wanted for the last twenty years! She knew where her first born lived, who his parents were. Would she use those information? She was not sure! She had searched for her first born, the son of Jacob, all these years; now that she knew where he was, she was not sure what to do with it!!

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Sixteen- The Agreement ✺ ☏ ☗ ☘ ☤ ☪

How could it be? How was it possible? "Oh, God, not now!" Why didn't she think of something when the doctor removed the IUD? On the other hand, she never thought, that at her age, she could get pregnant!

The pregnancy delayed the divorce. Steve refused to go ahead with the it since she was pregnant. In fact it brought him much closer to her for the first time after over twenty years of marriage!.

For Helen, it was a nightmare, it was the worse news. At her age, right at the time that Steve had at last agreed to a divorce, this should happen! How many women her age would get pregnant? She had never heard of one! The doctor said there were many. The feeling of despondency that had seemed dead in her since Steve had agreed to a divorce, revived itself more and more; sprang out and took possession of her heart. She figured by the time the baby was born, she would be forty four years old.

The doctor called it, "high risk pregnancy". Even though It was against her religious belief, she told the doctor:

"Is it high risk for which of us, for me or the baby?"

The doctor looked at her with amazement and after a few seconds of thinking said:

"For both!"

Helen immediately said: "Then it does call for an abortion!"

Steve was with her. He looked at her with the strangest gaze ever; so did the doctor! But it was the doctor, who said:

"I don't believe that you said that! It happens all the time. Any pregnancy at your age, or even younger, like in thirties, is called high risk! It doesn't mean you should have an abortion!"

Steve looked at the doctor with thankful eye; specially when she said that there are new tests could be done to make sure the baby was okay and had no def act!

The high risk pregnancy was one of Helen's easiest one. The only thing that was a little out of extraordinary and happened at the end, was the baby, a girl, was born twenty days earlier than due date; not even called to keep the baby in the hospital. They named her Cathrine. She was born on September twelve, 1986, one month short of Helen's forty fourth birthday.

Caterina was a beautiful girl, a little small built; but even as a baby, which was always hard to know, since babies would change a lot she looked like Helen. Everybody said that she was the mirror image of Helen. It was love at first sight for both Helen and Steve, and even Elizabeth and Chris!!

When Caterina was one year old, Helen stopped nursing her. Then she brought up the subject of divorce to Steve:

"We just have to do it. I've been asking for a divorce since the beginning of our marriage. I had no idea that I was going to get pregnant Again!"

Steve was barely home. He still had the same schedule. On his three to four days off , he spent most of his time with this new, now openly girlfriend, Nancy; a woman twenty years younger than him! He did not hide it from Helen, or lied about it. She knew up to the last detail about Nancy. She had even been to the house a few times!

Now in fact he was happy to hear that Helen brought up the subject of divorce. But he was not a type of man that go through a simple and friendly divorce. Everything in this union had been unfriendly and traumatic!!

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Sixteen- The Agreement ✺ ☏ ☗ ☘ ☤

Then it came a period that besides the headaches, Helen began having very heavy periods; sometimes two or three times in a month. Pain was unbearable. She was even concerned that she might have some from of cancer!

Lastly she went to to see her gynecologist. But before this she heard a news that shocked her, yet made her happy to her innermost core! Steve told her finally that he would agree for a divorce. But the children should stay at the house since they went to privet schools. She knew that Steve, as horrible as he had been to her, was a good father, and would not let the children suffer because of divorce.

As she drove to the doctor's office, she thought that she would not ask for any financial help from Steve because of the divorce. Just letting her go after all these years was the greatest thing he was doing for her. She still had plenty money left in her little black bag; how much, she did not know. She told herself: "I'll get a job, anything at last, doesn't matter what! Oh, God, at last!"

She was now forty three years old. Her best guess for her heavy bleeding was that perhaps she was going through menopause. But the doctor told her otherwise:

"Your bleeding is for the IUD you have. It's been there for many years. We need to remove it."

She suddenly remembered that how she had another doctor to insert an IUD in her after the birth of Chris without telling Steve. At the time she did not want to be cheated by Steve and get pregnant again. But still she had heard women her age go through female climacteric. She brought the subject to doctor's attention.

"There is a possibility; but we won't know until we see how you do now that I removed the IUD. If you still are irregular, then in a few months I'll do a hormone test on you and we go from there!"

The heavy bleeding stopped. She had one normal period. The divorce process was going almost smoothly! She was happy at last. She was at last gaining her freedom back from all these men in her life who had used her in different ways but none in a good way!

She went to the doctor both for follow up and for not getting period for the last two months now. So her guess of going through change of life most likely was correct. After examining her, the doctor told her the shocking news:

"You're pregnant!!!"

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Sixteen- The Agreement ✺ ☏ ☗ ☘

Days, weeks, months, and years came and then they disappeared as though they never existed. One day Helen realized that she was forty years old. She was still a very attractive woman; she had gained a little weight which was not bad at all since in her thirties she

had been much too thin. The maturity brought up all her beauty, in and out, to the surface. Even Steve would sometimes tell her:

"You turn heads. You get so damn prettier everyday. I've been hooked on to you for this one reason all these years!"

Steve still would not let her to work. This was a puzzling thing for her. The only thing she could think of was that perhaps Steve thought the man who fathered her first born, was someone from work! She knew as time passed, finding a job as a teacher, which she loved, would become harder for her, someone who had taught only three semesters in her twenties; yet she knew that there was always other positions which she could get hired for. She always looked at Sunday Papers for jobs; even though she knew as long as she was married to Steve, it would never happen!!

Elizabeth now was a spoiled thirteen years old teenager, who looked much older than her age. She was totally daddy's girl now. Steve let her do what she wanted. Helen did not approve of the way she dressed, short skirt, open neck, ... She wore make up, like a woman. Mother and daughter fought all the time. Helen had transferred all her fights and agers with Steve to fights with Elizabeth. Steve always defended Elizabeth even though deep inside she knew that Helen was right!

Christopher was ten years old. He was hers, always hers! He was her life. Nonetheless, she had no idea few years into the future, the influence of some bad friends, and knowing how miserable her mother was, would change her Chris, that he would drop off from school, that he would make a mess out of his life!

Steve still had the same schedule; three or four days work, and the rest of the week off. On his days off, he still went to bars and got drunk. During the last ten years, Helen was certain, that he always had had a girlfriend, a one night stand, a mistress, short affairs, or long affairs! But she did not care! She did not care for anything but her son, Chris, and her son with Jacob, whom she did not know anything about his whereabouts, or his adoptive parents. He was fourteen now. Oh, how much Helen wanted to know him, to see him, to touch him! But she knew what she wanted and wished for was impossible!

All these years, she had not figured out the combination of the safe that Steve kept all the legal adoption document there. Not once he made the mistake that Roger had made!

The old headaches were back with vengeance. The doctor told her that his best guess was stress and migraine. She never told the doctor how Steve had made her life miserable because of the birth of her first son. She never told him that she wished he divorced her and left her to find peace at last!!

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Sixteen- The Agreement ✺ ☏

At this moment, being drunk, having a good time, with the two men in the house, one her husband, the other her lover; she truly could not bear either of them! She despised them both for the very thing they were proud of; and that part of them in egotism

with themselves, their highly- strong temperament, contempt and disregard for everything coarse and unsophisticated!

She watched with horror the greediness in which some men ate and drank. She tried very hard not to let them see that she had noticed!

The last to leave the party, were Jacob and his wife. It was three in the morning. Their goodbyes lasted ten minutes while the two men talked about their works; and they promised each other to get together again; and Melisa kept reminding Jacob that they needed to get home and send the baby sitter back to her home!

Helen spread herself on the bed at the top of the bedspread with her dress, jewelries, and shoes still on. She fell asleep instantaneously. Steve came to the bedroom, began shaking her.

"Get up, change your clothes!" But Helen had no will or energy left to get up, to change, to remove her make up. She was completely worn out of the long day and night and the two parties! Drinking excessively had not helped her being so tired!

One week passed from the party. Jacob called everyday. She refused him everyday!

"I told you it's over. Didn't you believe me? You're married, I'm married. We've made a big mess out of our lives! For God's sake, leave me alone!"

The inevitable end of everything confronted both of them for the first time with such an irresistible force that Jacob, who knew she was right, had such a hard time to be refused. Helen told him on the phone that his wife was a beautiful, classy woman, a wonderful mother! She told him that she knew all about Mr. Holland's plan, who was trying to save his investment, Jacob, after all he was a business man; and to save him from the demon of his self righteousness; and he needed to accept it! The last phone call came. She told him:

"If you don't stop calling me, I tell your wife that I'm the one who tried to ruin her marriage!" She really meant it. She was tired of all men, Steve, who would never forget her mistake, Jacob, who at this point, she was sure of it, just wanted her for sex and old memories!!!!

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Sixteen- The Agreement *

The party was a success. People talked about it for a long time. Helen played her role as a hostess very well. She acted in a way that no one could suspect there was anything between Jacob and her! She began feeling comfortable in her red dress that she hated it when she had put it on.

All the women in the party complimented her dress and her beauty. Evidentially, Steve's plan to show her off as a loose woman did not work.

Melisa, Jacob's wife, was wearing a black, velvet dress. It was a very simple, short, and strapless dress. She was also wearing a black velvet stole with red satin lining around her shoulder. She wore her hair in a French twist. Amongst all the women, Melisa and Helen were the prettiest; and Jacob had both of them.

Helen was sure that Melisa did not know Helen was her husband's mistress; even though she knew of his adultery.

The dinner was served; but people decided to take their plates and sit in different places in group of two- three, or more. Helen noticed that Steve, Jacob, and John, the friend who had had the accident, were together the entire evening, talking, drinking, laughing!. She, herself, drank a lot, although it was her tactics not to drink too much when she gave a party!

Since Steve had told her earlier offensive things again, she decided to act the role of what Steve had called her! She was sexy and flirtatious. She swished her red chiffon dress when walking, began to feel comfortable in her low cut dress that showed her wide, beautiful back and her cleavage in the front! She noticed that Jacob's eyes followed her everywhere; but she had made up her mind that night to break up with him. She thought to herself: "Even if his father- in- law forced him to come to this party, he could had done something to refuse it!" If he truly loved her the way he always said he did, he could had found a way not to come to her home and befriended her husband!

In her drunkenness, she believed that at one point, Jacob loved her for who she was; but as he had become a powerful lawyer in the law firm, and had noticed that most of these successful men had wives and a mistress at the side, he had also changed; and Helen had become just an affair, just a mistress, not a true love that she had been before! She believed that the childhood crush, the love of that New Year's Eve party did not exist anymore. It was now all about having an affair. But she also knew that she had always loved Jacob! Now this love had changed to a love with disgust!!

To Be Continued