Odyssey... 5- Solitude

Dallas-

The Summer is here. The graduation is over; and Hana watches her sons lazily move around, as she did many years before.

Tehran-

The hot summer after the successful graduation from high school, for Hana was boring and depressing. She had passed with grades that it was not possible to be any higher, and had made it as the number one in entire country, with her name printed in local papers all over the country. (The exams for graduating from high school in Iran is uniform both in the day that is taken and in the material for each exam. All schools in the entire country are under the Ministry of Education; therefore the lesson plan, exams, where the teachers work, if they transfer, they all come under that ministry. For example what they teach in Tehran is exactly what they teach anywhere else. The teacher who works in Tehran can be transferred to another city with or without her consent and carry her years as a teacher with her for the sake of retirement.)

Grandma and her two sons, Reza and Asad had finally moved out from their house. Reza, Hana's older uncle, had found a job. Combined with Hana's dad's help and Reza's income, they had rented an apartment close by. The relief was much greater for mom and dad. Hana's sisters and brothers, as usual, got on her nerve and did not leave her alone for a minute. Hot summer, dry nature, and laziness what she knew the best that Summer. She stayed in he room almost all day and lay on her bed. She quited reading, writing, and going to Behroz's home to participate in their SECRET SOCIETY. She was not certain if she wanted to go to college or find a job. Something that had been so important to her before, did not seem to matter anymore. She refused to talk about her future plan to her parents.

Some time passed. It was the middle of the Summer- a hot sunny day full of burning rays. In he room, lazy and unfeeling, she looked through the crack of the door to the hallway. She saw a faded shadow there which gradually became whole. Suddenly she recognized Saeid. As she could not believe that image, she rubbed her eyes for clarity and looked again where she had seen Saeid's reflection. No, there was no one there. She fell into a great sadness. All of the sudden, she realized that for the entire month she had only thought about Saeid. It seemed as though his existence had become a part of her entity. She wondered: "What is he doing now?" Although occasionally she had seen Behroz, she had never asked him about Saeid. The exasperated tension to see him, hear from him, made her to think about going to Behroz's home. She could not stand any longer the painful darkness and unawareness of that separation that they had forced upon themselves. She was dressed in five minutes and was ready to leave the house. Her mother, curious, watched her as though she had not seen her for a while.

"You're finally leaving your room! Where are you going?"

"To grandma's. I want to see Behroz."

"Good, You're normal again."

Hana smiled for she felt more abnormal than ever; even when she ate even her food in her room. She questioned her mom's credibility in her mind. "Mothers supposed to know how their children feel!" How could she judge her daughter's state of mind so poorly?! "I'll know how my children feel when I am a mother."

In Behroz's room, all the members were there but one, Saeid. She did not dare to ask; nonetheless she impatiently wanted to know about his whereabouts. While the tree young men warming up in their philosophical discussion, Hana was thinking of a plan to ascertain about Saeid. How could she ask that question without raising curiosity? A simple remark of Safa gave her the chance:

"We thought you never come back, getting ready for KONKOR (The big exam in entire country for entering university)." He said.

She thought for a moment and then said: "I wasn't going to."

"So I was right. We lost two member." Behroz, her uncle said.

"Two members!?" She thought to her self. "Now is the time."

"Two members? Why two?"

"You and Saeid. " Mehran, another member said.

"What happened to Saeid?" She asked casually.

"Oh, we don't know. He didn't come for a while; and then we heard that he's joined army for his draft." Behroz responded.

Hana's heart began pounding. Not being to control herself, as her boiling blood rushed to her head, she held the arms of the chair to stop herself from falling. As smart as Behroz, her uncle and even the others were, they all knew the disappearance of her and Saeid at the same time were connected. However, Behroz, her uncle, wanted to find out the secrecy behind all these.

"May be you guys home early tonight." He almost ordered his friends. "I like to talk to my niece. I haven't seen her for awhile."

Safa and Mehran, without asking any question left; while Hana was ready to hear the big interrogation. She was not sure how she would answer.

Dallas

To Be Continued

Odyssey... 4- Graduation ()()()

T. Square was a big compound with many activities- bus stations, bakeries, barber shops, apartment buildings, bazaars, and so many other things. The Squares in Tehran are nothing like pizzas in Italy or malls in America. Hana, horrified, was in total affliction. How could she find him in that big place? In fact, she was terrified by two things, not seeing him, or being seen by other people who knew them. She was certain that the nosy people of that area, as it is in their custom, would report to her family even before they would get back home. She visualized tragic scenes at home, her mom's weeping eyes, and her dad's extreme outrage; nevertheless, the fact of sneaking and doing something behind their back gave her a sense of bravery and courage. Drowned in her thoughts, she heard her name. It was him, the one who had set her in fire and brought her the best gift, love.

"Let's go, we don't want to be seen here." Saeid said with his soothing voice.

While he was leading, Hana behind him could not believe what she was doing. Very soon they were out of T. Square and in the S. Street, one of Hana's favorite place for walking. Her high school was also located in this street, where for the last six years she had walked back and forth to and from home. Tall pine trees on both sides of the street had set a shadowy carpet on the ground. The branches of the trees from either side of the street were connected in the middle as though they were kissing. They seemed seemed like a canopy over a plentiful plain. That street was less crowded and the chance of being seen together was much less. They walked on the sidewalk, where sun forced its rays through the cluttered foliage. As words were not expressive enough to describe the empathic connection between two lovers, they walked in silence.

The branch office of the Ministry of Education was half way up the street. One of the Shah's Castle was located a few kilometers beyond the Ministry building. Hana recalled her previous, occasional wandering on that street, on that heavenly place, when she had looked through the fence into the huge garden area of the castle in search of seeing a prince or princess. She had also thought about the majority of Iranian people who lived in extreme poverty, while the Shah and his relatives had so many castles.

They would be in their destination soon and everything, their secret date would be over. They both knew that; but none wanted to do anything about it. She terribly desired that Saeid would offer to walk more or at least would talk to her; but she never spoke her true wanting.

"Well, this is it. I must go in now." She said while was chocking with tears.

"Wait, just a minute." He said in a more dead voice than alive.

Hana lapsed into an eloquent silence. She could not make up his face because of the mist in her eyes.

"What do we do?" Her voice was barely audible.

Saeid, extremely emotional and agitated, began walking. She was mystified and was not sure what he meant by walking away from her. Did it mean, leave me alone, get lost, or follow me! Shocked and terrified, she dragged herself behind him. He walked to an alley, and then another one, and another one..., while she staggered behind, not being sure anymore where they were. Finally, distressed and perplexed, she called him. Her voice was trembling.

"Where are we going?"

Hearing her voice, he woke up from his dreadful thoughts.

"I am sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I was carried away by my emotion blindly. Please forgive me." He gazed at her with a long, penetrating look, as though he would pierce her through with it.

"You haven't done anything wrong. Why do you want me to forgive you? You just acted strangely. You scared me." She babbled.

Silence again governed while they both were standing there, in the middle of an unknown alley, looking at each other. Saeid's unusual behavior gave Hana an awkward feeling. She did not know what to do or say.

"Do you want to talk?" Hana finally asked earnestly.

"What can I say? This is not going to work."

A cold thrill suddenly ran down her spine to hear his hopelessness.

"Let's talk. I don't know what you mean when you say this is not going to work." She began crying and tears glistened on her cheeks.

"Those who had never gone through hard time never understand." He broke in, pale and gloomy.

"I know what you mean. You're talking about my family, don't you?" She said, looking into his eyes with a searching glance. "If you knew what happened to my dad!" She said those in her speaking mind; but to him, she added after a moment of silence: "You just have to wait and see what happens."

"Wait, wait, I waited all my life for now, for you, do you understand, do you?" He cried out in despair.

"Isn't it too soon for us to jump into a desperation like this?" Her voice trembled and somewhat weakened by the emotion of helplessness.

"Your family never accepted mine. That is a fact, isn't it?" He said with a great roar of laughter.

"I don't understand! Why are you doing this? There is nothing between us; and you act as though it's the end of the world."

"Oh, God, I'm shocked. I'm injured. Can't you see or feel my pain? How can you say that there is nothing between us; all those looks, glimpses, ... Can't you see how much I love you, Hana?"

Hana, overwhelmed by her and his emotion, knelt down on the ground. He touched her shoulders and helped her to stand up.

"I'm so sorry. I never wanted to upset you." He began acting like himself.

"I must go now. You can go with me if you wish." Her voice was weakened by an extreme sorrow.

They walked back through the unknown alleys. Shortly, they found themselves in front of the branch office of Ministry of Education.

Dallas-

Hana finds herself kneeling down on the floor, as she did many years ago. Her entire body trembles of remembering that first and last date with Saeid. The memory of that lost love has remained with her ever since. Her tears flow; and she writes:

"When the tears flow,

From the sooty cloud and woe,

When the azure color sea,

From anger howls savagery.

But what is storm, what is cry?

A silent night for lonely to get by.

A man sings in the farm-

A sad song of lost charm.

The other lonely is me on earth;

Who opens a storm of tears with hurt.

To Be Continued, with Chapter Five, Solitude

Odyssey... <><>4- Graduation

Blissful and terrorized, Hana crept silently to her room and closed the door. A dim pillar of light flickered through the crack of door. It looked like a column of dust. She could actually see all the very small dirt in that round light. Dizzily, she lay down and drowned herself into the very first feeling which followed by dreadful thoughts. Tomorrow she would secretly see Saeid. How long could she see him like that? She knew her parents, and even her grandparents and her uncle Nabi would never approve of him. They had always thought Saeid's family beneath them and not in the same class. His side of family were mostly merchants and hers were landowners. Even Saeid's father's business where also Saied worked, its land belonged to her grandfather and through him to uncle Nabi. She thought who created the class in their society? In the brawl of her good and bad thoughts, she fell asleep hungry, hopping to dream sweetness. Enchanting fantasy of her dream might change the culture she and everyone else lived in.

As she was slowly drifting into a heavy sleep, she felt her body shaken by a natural cause like an earthquake. She opened her eyes; it was her mother standing by her bedside and calling her:

"Won't you have dinner?"

Her mom, seemed to her, standing far, very far, somewhere in space. She thought she was dreaming. There was a mist before her eyes and she did not remember where she was. Gently she rubbed her eyes and finally she could see her mom in one piece.

"No, mom, I'm not hungry."

"Did you eat at grandma's?"

"No, yes, I... don't remember!"

"What is wrong with you? You don't act like yourself!"

"I don't know. Just leave me alone."

"What kind of talking is that?"

"Mom, please..."

"Is it for tomorrow?"

Hana suddenly jumped out of the bed. "How does she know?" She thought."

"What about tomorrow?" She said it to her mom with reservation.

"Your diploma!"

"Oh, yes, I am just nervous."

"Well, then I go with you."

"No, mom, I'm fine. I come down in a minute to have dinner."

Dallas-

Hana wishes to bring back those days only to answer her mom truthfully. Ironically she never told her mom about that day. Now that she is relieving her past, she tries not to be only a provider for her sons but also a good friend; so they can come to her for advice and talk to her without any reservation or fear. Strangely she does not know how to get out of the mother's shell and become a friend; or to be both at the same time. "You can tell me everything!" But when they do, she gets upset; and sometimes depressed. Hana realizes not only she has lost many years of her precious life for not feeling close to her parents at tender teenage years, but also she is about to ruin her sons' lives because she does not know how to gain their trust. Nonetheless, she is certain of one thing- she knows her shortcomings and mistakes. Perhaps with that understanding she can overcome the custom that fused to her entity. By relieving her past, she seeks the knowledge her parents lacked.

Tehran-

She spent the longest, sleepless night. Forcing her eyes to stay open so she could think. The dismal light of the high beam in neighbor's yard made a way into her room through the door that she was never able to close it tightly. She paced he closet- like room almost all night; and finally a dawn of rapture arrived into her every existing nerves when she saw the orange sun in fire rising. By now, she was out of her room and standing in the turn of the stairs in front of the window where she could see the neighbor's garden. It was a dawn of a new day, and perhaps a new beginning.

{}

Saeid in his room thought about every solitary day that he had lived. The room was filled with his cigarette smoke. He finished a whole pack before dawn began changing the order. Trying unsuccessfully to solace himself by forcing good thoughts into his mind, there was only one line kept echoing in his brain: "If we can't have each other, I will die!" He had never known a girl like Hana. He remembered the time that they were much younger. Then, he had never envisioned to have such a feeling for that tiny, arrogant girl. Now things were different. That tiny girl was an attractive, intelligent, and sensitive young woman, who had stolen his heart.. A spiteful exasperation trembled him and he angrily threw his fist into the air. "Why, why?" He could not be optimistic by knowing stories about the arrogance of Hana's family. His relationship with Behroz, Hana's uncle, was a different story. They had gone to same school and graduated at the same year. Besides, Hana's family could not accuse him of having feeling for another man. As his anger was increasing rapidly, he tried hard to let go of bad thoughts. "This morning I'll be alone with her. I tell her how much I love her. I know she loves me, too. They say a woman in love is capable of doing anything she wants." When the dawn forced the darkness out of his room, he shaved and went to bathroom to take his shower.

{]

To Be Continued

Odyssey... 4- Graduation {}{}

Dallas-

After all these years, Hana still postpones taking charge of her life. She thinks when the day of action comes, her double wins her over and she can do something about this wretched life her sons and she live. Despondently, she assumes that the day of taking control will never appears to her sight without the help of her double. The anxiety and fear of her own thought shivers her; and the concept of living this life for ever frightens her.

As her sons are getting ready for their finals, she tries to provide a peaceful ambiance for them, as her parents did for her many years ago. Strangely they do not have much of studying or homework, as she did in Iran in their ages. To her frenzied insistence, her sons tell her that they study at school. Not being able to believe them, she calls their schools for a meeting with their teachers. The teachers of both schools confirm her sons' true remarks.

"We give our students time to do their homework at school."

Hana is not sure which system is better, here or there in Iran. One thing she knows well; it is not up to her. She conjures up her hard work and days and nights of studying.

Tehran-

With all the fear that Hana had had, she passed the final exams successfully. Her endeavor, staying awake, and studying thousands of pages of text books over and over should finally come to a sweet result in a week when she would get her diploma, a piece of paper for twelve years of her life. The night before achieving that great success, her friends in the Secret Society noticed her nervousness.

"What is wrong, Hana?" Safa, one of the member asked her.

"I have to go to The Ministery Of Education tomorrow to get my diploma. I am scared."

"Why are you scared? You're an excellent student." Saeid said gently.

"I don't think I did as good as I used to."

"You always say that. Why do you want to be number one all the time?" Behroz, her uncle, annoyed, said.

"I don't know; I guess I don't want to disappoint mom and dad."

"Don't worry! I bet you'll do great tomorrow." Saeid's gentle voice gave her an easy feeling. She smiled for the first time that day.

When at seven she was ready to leave, Saeid got up, too.

"Where are you going so early?" Behroz asked him.

"We have company tonight. My sister and her children are visiting. I haven't seen them for awhile."

Behroz gave a knowing glance at him; as though he could read his mind. A transient warmth slid into every veins of Hana. Was Saeid's reason for leaving early only a story? "He wants to talk to me." She ran down stairs and was about to leave when her grandma in the kitchen took a glimpse of her.

"Why are you running? What is the rush?"

"Nothing, I just want to go home and ..." Suddenly she saw Saied was going out. Completely confused, she said: "Grandma, I have to go."

She closed the door behind her with force. In the alley she looked around to see Saeid. For a moment she went blank by disappointment. A bleak emptiness filled her heart. But when she saw the slender shadow of him behind a tree, she breathed a long sigh.

They began walking in silence. Hana's home was just a few blocks away, not enough distance to talk and discover all those hidden glances and palpitations of heart in each other's company. He finally began the conversation:

"Would you like me to go with you tomorrow to get your diploma?"

She blushed while lowering her head as though she wanted to learn mystery of the earth.

"I love that."

"What time?"

"Ten o'clock,"

"Where do you want us to see each other?"

"At T. Square,"

"All right,"

"Tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow,"

He walked ahead of her and disappeared.

Dallas-

Dating, Hana thinks, is American way for young men and women to meet and get to know each other before marriage. "What a beautiful custom!" Back home, especially the days that she had no control over her feelings for Saeid, what seems so normal in America, was an evil act in Iran. Dating was not accepted by neither families nor society and religion. Girls married men their families had chosen for them with closed eyes. Sometimes it worked out and they fell in love later; nonetheless, mostly it did not; and those women and even men lived a life of misery and endurance beyond belief. Should the old fashioned fathers found out their daughters secret dating or meeting a man, not only they would become outrage, occasionally they went for a quick decision and found a husband for their daughters to end a shame that had never existed. When Hana recalls how daring she was to see Saeid, a pale smile blossoms on her lips. She introspects more of those days.

Tehran-

"How come you're home early?" Saeid's mother asked him.

"I'm tired." He hastily answered his mother and went to his room. There, he sat on his bed and gazed into space, completely motionless. He was drowned in so many unresolved emotions and thoughts that he did not know which one he would solve first. Only one word echoed in his head, "LOVE". He sighed in despair. He knew Hana's family never liked his; even though they had been neighbors forever; and he had been Behroz's friend since childhood and they even went to the same school and graduated at the same year. He damned his luck. "Her parents will never allow her to marry me!" A coquettish glimmer of sunset forced itself through the crevice of the cotton curtain. He stared at the gleam that gradually faded away. It was a dark night; and he felt that obscurity in his entire body and soul.

{][}

To Be Continued

Odyssey... 4- Graduation

Dallas-

Good old days, sneaky things, acts that in American Society would be normal! Nowadays, her sons do not have anything to hide; they just do it. Television, schools and even parents teach them to do it. Those days young people in her country were not supposed to see or know too much; or learn about the pain of their country and community. They would go from one darkness to another. That knowledge was for adults, leaders, who were corrupt, and people who wanted to sacrifice everything to send their messages across.

Tehran-

Hana's grandparents' home was only a few blocks from hers, which made it easy for her to go there everyday after school. She went straight to Behroz's room, where the young men were waiting for their competitor. As their discussion sometimes warmed up with flames and other times cooled off with breeze, Hana enjoyed every second of her time with those scalars (in her opinion). She normally sat on the only chair while the four men sat on the edge of Behroz's bed.

Hana had known Saied as long as she remembered. They were from the same town, same street, and same neighborhood. Her parents and grandparents knew his. Now that Hana was seventeen and Saeid was twenty, things were different. Without speaking a word, she knew Saied loved her. This time was not her imagination. She saw it in his eyes. She recognized it in his gentle tone of voice. Around him, she felt hot, cold, uneasy, relaxed, and bewildered; and she knew he felt the same, since there was a special empathy between them. They did not speak their thoughts and feelings; they did not have to.

When the heated discussion rose to its height, the drape flew inside of warm May wind, and mouths dried out of continuous arguing, she relaxed on her chair with an absolute confidence that she was accepted by her scalar friends and enjoyed the respect they had for a tiny girl, with shoulder length hair, and small everything. Whereas her size, Saied was tall, slim, with an olive color skin, and attractive mustache above her narrow lips, and of course a big nose which was inherited from his ancestors.

Dallas-

Hana has not changed, except a few wrinkles which are the sign of aging, and the furrow between her eyebrows which is deeper than ever. She is still tiny with shoulder length hair. She thinks as a parent, she does whatever it takes to make her sons' lives happier than hers; the best way that she knows how! Motherhood is not about size, it is about dedication and love. She is certain that her parents were as devoted as she is with the difference that their over protective love were sabotaging her self educated and accomplished mind. She tries very hard not to stifle her children with her love as her parents did to her. As she raises her sons, she also grows with them equally to understand today's society and its demand. Her parents did what they knew the best, and she does what she believes it is necessary. Why didn't they let her choose the direction she was aiming at? On the other hand, how could they? Besides was her direction a right and sane one for her time and where she lived? However, they did not know any better. Nobody, neither society, nor culture, nor religion had taught them any better. She comes to understanding that she has forgiven them; and feeling sorry will not take her back so she can repeat her life and lives it the way she knows now. As she is confused by the ambiguous questions, she looks around and finds no one to answer her doubtfulness. She is married, but she does not have a partner. She just learned that by American law, she has been raped for the last sixteen years since she married Hamid. In her mind, she had always thought that sex is only for men; and for women is only a duty. Now, here in America, by watching television, and talking to people, she realizes how this God given, moral pleasure has taken away from her by the simplest thing, ignorance. Digging inside her soul, she thinks of the possibility that her innocence and being naive, perhaps have taken away this great need she was taught to ignore. Sheltering in the fancied world of books, probably, has been her escape for not facing the bitter realities she knew and could and would not do anything about them. Her love for literature is the only thing Hamid could not take away from her. It has stayed her property. Rolling in bed, she tries to remember more about that sweet, short, and lost love.

Tehran-

That day they talked about Russian literature; and the young men were amazed by Hana's understanding of the era of the novels they were talking about.

"I didn't know you've read so much!" Saied said while a blush ran into his bony cheeks.

"I told you that she is well read." Behroz, her uncle, responded.

Hana shyly lowered her head while breathing heavily and said:

"Well, I always read, if it is not my school books, it is novels that Behroz gives them to me to read. Books are my friends."

"She played with books when she was little." Behroz supported her remark: "My sister and brother have nine children all together, and I chose her to become my protege, because she did have the potential."

Even though Hana was overwhelmed by the discussion, a strange sensation and pleasure immobilized her body. She was happy that her uncle talked about her with passion. However, she felt as though Saied's eyes were piercing her through without looking at her, or she looking at him. Every evening around seven Hana had to leave and go to her home. If she stayed longer, which she wanted to, her parents might not allow her to continue her daily visits.

At home, studying for final exams, her thoughts went back and forth from science and history to two black eyes, bony cheeks, and black mustache. An unspoken love opened its petals in her untouched heart and with its expansion, she felt an alien wonderment that she had never experienced. When nights came, she rested on her back with her hands clasped behind her head and stared in dark to an unknown place. She felt numb and no thoughts at those moments passed her mind. It was just blank. This new feeling, however, did not stop her of thinking about future. What did she want? Was it marriage and family, or university, working, and teaching? Unaware of what life would be for her, she spoke her thoughts as Scarlet did in GONE WITH THE WIND:

"I think about it tomorrow."

Dallas-

To Be Continued

Odyssey...4- Graduation

As the end of school year gets close, Hana understands that her sons will walk to a new chapter of their lives. Farhad moves up from junior high to high school and Sam steps up from elementary school to junior high. As Hana perceives that every little steps makes a big different in a teenager's life, she remembers herself when graduating from high school. She digs into her thoughts to conjure up every detail of that sweet and short summer, a hot and dry summer, as it is here, in the other side of the world.

Tehran-

The hot summer was just around the corner. The dry heat that brought drought into the souls and spirits of nature and humans. A heat that caused birds to migrate to cooler provinces, and dog and cats to shelter in shades, A fiendish summer that killed the trend, slowed the motion, and raised the laziness. A summer that brought thirsty leaves of trees a tear dried our before it fell. It was just like passengers in desert who would see mirage and tire themselves even more to walk towards a vain hope.

However, that summer had special heat for Hana- a heat that did not rise from sun but from heart. It was almost the end of school year and Hana would graduate from high school. Her mind was torn between studying and getting good grades or thinking about a real love that was blossoming in the core of her entity. Yes, she was in love- a silent affection that did not require much talking. She had not written to her friend, Mesa, for awhile, and she was not thinking about doing it either. That was child's stuff; and she was grown now; she needed the real thing.

Being close to Behroz, her favorite uncle, brought Saeid and her close to each other. Saeid and Behroz were the same age, only three years older than her. Besides Mesa, her childhood imaginary friend, Behroz was the only real friend she had. Her parents did not mind her to visit Behroz everyday, since he was her uncle, mom's youngest brother.

In grandparents' home and in Behroz's room, they had organized a secret society. The members were Behroz, and three of his friends including Saeid. They talked about poetry, politics, and literature. First the young men were averse to let Hana in in their society, perhaps because she was a girl and younger. But later when she earnestly asked her uncle to give her a chance, they finally accepted her. Soon they were amazed by her knowledge and intelligence; and that was the time she officially became a member.

Dallas-

To Be Continued

Odyssey... 3- Falling in love...

Dallas-

When Hana thinks how bashful she always has been, suddenly a dreadful truth comes to light. "Perhaps that is why everyone takes advantage of me." She has been shy to say what she wants or what she desires to do, or what she does not want to do. She can not recall even one occasion that she has asked on wanting something- except one, marrying Hamid. She regrets dramatically for not listening to her family. The conspicuous pain of many deplorable dilemma takes her back to the time of reuniting with dad, when she actualized a truth that shocked her for the rest of her life. "Some people are born to just be victims."

Tehran-

In the beginning f summer, mom had arranged a trip to Tabriz to see dad. She was taking all her five children with her. They left Tehran two days after ending of schools. Mom's older brother, Nabi, took them to the bus station. As they had traveled to Tabriz many other times before with dad, Hana had a good idea how long the trip would last. In the bus Hana and mom sat next to each other. The thirteen hours trip brought them close and opened the doors of untold. It was then that Hana found out a secret that mom had hidden from all her children.

After a couple of hours being in the bus, Hana noticed her sisters and brothers were dozing. As sleepy as she was, she tried to stay awake to not miss the most wonderful purpose of traveling besides seeing dad, exploration. Mom seemed very nervous, as she was drowned in her own thought which could not be hidden from Hana.

"What is it mom?'

"Nothing, just..." She began a soft cry.

"Is dad coming back home with us?"

"I don't know, I'm not sure." mom said with the glistening tears in her eyes.

"Mom, are you hiding something ?" Hana held her mother's shaking hand. "Talk to me mom."

Gol stayed quiet for a minute and then broke the shocking news:

"Your dad is in jail." And she burst into a roar of hysterical cry.

"What are you talking about? How? Why?"

"Just keep it low. I don't want the kids know about it!"

"What happened, how long?'

"Two weeks after he left, the creditors found out where he was..."

Hana impatiently interrupted her mom: "What are we going to do?"

"I think everything will be okay. Nabi is working on it. We have a lawyer. I think they've found his partner."

"You mean uncle Nabi knew about it and I didn't!"

"Honey, I didn't want to upset you. I know how sensitive you are. You had your school and English class. Besides Nabi is my brother. He knows many people."

Hana frowned slightly and went to a deep thinking for a minute. She was hurt of not being told this very important matter; but very soon she understood that how mom had sacrificed all these months in order for her children to have a normal life. She hugged mom and kissed her cheek.

"Mom, I love you. Don't worry, dad will come back home with us."

Gol looked at her daughter with her loving eyes and hugged her. A sweet silence filled the rest of the trip, for there was a special kind of empathy between mother and daughter that did not require talking.

{}

Coming back home from the ten days trip, Hana let dad sit next to mom in the bus. They had a lot to talk about. Hana was busy with preparing in her mind a letter she planned to write to her friend, Mesa, as soon as they would get home.

To Be Continued With Chapter Four, "GRADUATION"