UNFULFILLED- Sixteen- ☀☀☀☀The Will

One day Neda asked Kasra to draw a will for her. He was confused by it, but not so much. She was only thirty one years old, He did not know how to do it, so he did some research. Neda asked him to keep it silent. "I trust you with every thing, Kasra!" Nothing about her surprised him. So with a help a lawyer, he made a will for her. Neda knew if something happened to her, according to law, everything she had which she had earned it herself, would go to her father; since specially she did not have a child, even though she had a child; because no place that child ever was registered in her name. It was never recorded that she even had given birth.

Kasra, wrote the will with the help of the lawyer exactly as Neda had asked him to. He did not question her, he did not ask her the reason, He just did it.

She willed everything she had or would have after her death from the royalties of her books to Aria, her nephew. That seemed the right and normal thing to do. Kasra full heartedly agreed with her. She picked Both Sohrab and Maryam as the executor of her will and also the guardian of Aria as long as he was a child until he would come to the age. But she did one more thing that made Kasra's eyes as wide as they could get with surprise. She willed the house she was living in to Kasra. She knew that he always admired this house. He had been a renter all his life. He had dedicated himself completely to her, not only editing, but all her other need. She left all her clothes, which now she had plenty, and many of her personal things, like custom jewelry to Goly, her Secretary, Goly. She had heard her say numerous times, every time that she went for a formal even or an interview:

"Oh, this is beautiful!"

Maryam and Neda used to be the same size, but after the birth of Aria, Maryam had gained some weight which she had a hard tome to lose it, being almost every evening at Neda's and eating her coking. Neda's cooking was like another art for her. The things she created mostly in her mind, were not the traditional Persian food, but like her poetry were her creation. Kasra told her:

"You're so generous, you're giving me your house!"

"You deserve it. Without you, I would not have a home or any books!"

"What about Mayam and Sohrab? " Kasrs asked. " You've given everything to Aria but not to them!"

Neda laughed, her hands locked on her back.

"The reason they're not in my will is because I have eyed a house close by and we're closing it next week in their names. So normal of her, yet so secretive.

For her no hypocritical thoughts came to debase the purity of her nephew, Aria, with his simple soul, led astray sometimes by a passion she had never known at her childhood. Sohrab and Maryam were her soul mates; Aria was her one pure love; and Kasra was an irreplaceable friend. She did one more thing. There was this orphanage by the Caspian Sea she visited often, and helped them financially. She set a pricey monthly payment for this orphanage which Kasra would be in charge of it. That is how much she trusted her friend. None of her companions knew that she was already involved with this orphanage and visited them at least once a month, and gave them money. Every time that she traveled North, to go there, she filled up her car with presents for every child in that place. She knew them by name, age, their grade. They all called her Aunt Neda. It used to Be Mrs. Neda. It took her along time to teach them that she was their benefactor and their aunt.

Kasra from now on was even more happy and devoted friend to her. He still wished to marry her, but he knew that would never happen. Before, he had thought that Neda was taking him for granted. Now he had proven wrong.

He thought he knew everything about Neda; but he never knew her intense search for her daughter, or her orphanage friends until the will was done. Every so often she would tell him:

"Buy me a ticket. I'm going to ..." He knew these trips were not to the orphanage, since she always drove there. It was only three hours drive. He never found out the purpose of these hurried travel, without announcement, without even telling Maryam and Sohrab. He was even suspicious on one point that she might have a lover somewhere, but why different cities! But no, that was not the Neda he knew. If she had a lover, she would tell him; that was the kind of person she was. He never was able to connect her daughter and these trips together. Her daughter subject was never brought up. It was a forbidden matter in Neda's household. It was even like a taboo. Kasra was even surprised that a woman like her, so sensitive, such an artist, such a great aunt to Aria, would never mention her daughter's name, to no one, not even to her brother or Maryam. This one issue about her puzzled him tremendously. When he read her poems, he would see someone with a broken heart, but as smart as he was, and as much as he knew her, he could not put all these signs together. In fact this was the subject of Sohrab and Maryam's Private conversation, too. Sohrab was confused like Kasra, but Maryam said to him;

"She hasn't forgotten Ariana; it's just this is just something so painful she does not want to talk about it. She wouldn't allow it!" Maryam was right. In her poetry, Kasra read her soul, the soul of a lost mother or lost daughter. However not talking about her daughter surprised all her companions.

"How can she forget?" they all would say amongst each other. Once Maryam said which Sohrab finally agreed with her:

'I understand her! Her daughter is a very a painful subject and a very private matter to her!"

To Be Continued

UNFULFILLED- Sixteen- ☗☗☗ ☗The Will

"Are you okay? What is the matter?" Kasra was understandably concerned.

"Can you come here now?" Neda's breathing was heard heavy from the other side.

"Now!?" He questioned her. He knew what all these meant; on the other hand, he also knew that her mood might change by the time he was at her home!

"Now! I want you to hold me. I am so lonely!" Then she added:

"Be silent when you come. I don't want you to wake up Aria!"

Kasra did not have any objection to this offer. It had happened before. He knew of her ups and downs. He had entered Neda's home in the middle of night a few times. He always had the key.

He was there in thirty minutes. Neda heard his car; but she did not want him anymore. She did not know how to tell him; nonetheless, she had done it before. Kasra read her mind by just taking a glimpse at her. By now he was used to her whims and impulsion.

She remembered the times she had with Mansour. The only way she could go through Mansour's wanting her was drinking wine. They both sat on Neda's bed. Kasra brought a bottle of dry, red wine, Neda's favorite, and two glasses. They began drinking and talking about her work. He slowly and surreptitiously began touching her naked legs which were showing through her open robe. Then he removed her robe. Suddenly the shadows were deepened in the bedroom. Her radio was on and a soft song, one of her favorite which was called "Kiss me", and Vighen, again one of her favorite singer was singing it. Kasra turned off the lights. He knew her very well, never in light. The music in the radio grew stronger and turbulent, where the singer was saying, "for the last time", and then soft with entreaty. That was how she felt, like that music, "kiss me for the last time", while Kasra made love to her. The shadow grew deeper. The music filled the room. It floated out into night, losing itself in the silence of the upper air; and then... all of the sudden stopped.

Neda could not understand herself. She had called kasra to come, but like the days of her short marriage, she had to drink wine, she had to listen to music, so as not to hear his breathing, or any other sound from him, she had to concentrate on the words of the song and tell herself what stanza would be coming next, she had to have her room darkened. She had Kasra at her home almost every night, and she would call him just that one night that he was not there, and then she treated him the way she did, not a lover, but like some one that forcing himself on her.

She did not want to offend Kasra, whom she had waken up in the middle of night. She remembered that she had told him on the phone:

"Bring me to the mood!" Kasra did not need that announcement from her. That was the only way she could go through it; nevertheless, she seldom reached the climax. this particular night, she did not have to pretend. Often times she had to. He had become an expert to know Neda in and out. He knew what had happened to her in past; but it took an expert to find out how was it possible some one could need something so bad and a minute later could not even stand it. Sometimes Neda would tell him:

"I think you know me better than myself!"

So Kasra had learned to edit her books to her satisfaction, to bring her to her to the ultimate pleasure, the way she wanted it, a thrill that sounded more like an animal cry than a woman's occasional gratification. Neda remembered that how shy she had been at the beginning to ask Kasra about these intimate issues. But now that a few years had passed from the first, she was not shy anymore, as long as she drank wine, the light were off, and the radio was on.

They both smoked afterwards; even though Neda had forbidden herself to smoke in bed.

She slept peacefully that night. When she woke up, Kasra was not there; Aria was laying next to her. She turned around and kissed her little nephew.

To be continued