Odyssey... ~{} 36- The Legend of Predicament

She buries her face in her hands and bursts into a frantic weeping. Meanwhile the belt of her robe opens and her naked body is completely exposed. She does not even notice that. Her hands are still on her face. Her fear and misery are mounting into a long pinnacle. The apex of her panic attack is like a meridian one reaches at the time of the intimacy. The Captain Helps her to lie down on the sofa. Except her black color underwear, she has nothing on. The embroidered blue and white robe is open and falling off her shoulder. Farhad runs to the bedroom and brings a blanket to cover his mother. Besides that act, when Farhad returns to the hallway and stands next to Mario and Sylvie, not an eye lid is moving. The world rings in her ears like the sound of so many howling animals, echoing in the far fathomless spirit that she has just lost; making forgotten memories to rock, and confused fears to wake; fear of hunger when they reached America, fear of Revolution, fear of void, fear of immigration, fear of losing her career, fear of attachment, fear of detachment, fear of living, fear of dying, fear of annihilation, fear of falling in love, fear of betrayal, fear of Hamid, and the paralyzing fears of everything, everywhere, and everyone. Hamid is dead! Sam is dead! Mom and dad are dead! Will she see them again? Will she hear from them again?

A motionless horror of loneliness grasps her. She sees herself standing alone and apart watching the world, a world that fades away, disappears; a world that used to have shadows and dreams, poetry, and creation. The Captain lays his hand on her face and says something; but she does not hear a word, a sound. She is gone, too, staggering through the shadows and reaching blindly through the darkness. Her soul dissolves into pathos. An unknown heat rushes through her head, and she falls unconscious, travels to where Sam is but can not reach him. Road blocks are everywhere. Again she sees the ship with so many windows and loud music she has seen in a nightmare some while ago; she sees all the dead ones standing in a row and bowing to her. They are all bones and no skin, but she recognizes them. The music is loud, but this time she can not hear their words like the last nightmare she has had. Her mouth is closed and dry. she is talking but no voice is coming out. She decides to join them.

A week later when Hana is released from hospital to be in Sam's funeral, her body is all black and blue of hitting herself in her entranced state of being. Her arms are all blue of the injections to find her veins when she was fighting the demons and evils in her stupefied predicament; and her spirit and soul are learning to be in a forbearing stoicism. She is like an animated corpse herself to go and put the corpse of her son into the ground. She walks without looking, talks without thinking, and listens without hearing.

Farhad and Sylvie help her to dress for the occasion, Sylvie put a soft make up on her face. She does not fight or object them. Sylvie tells her that she looks very pale. She listens but does not understand what Sylvie is saying. She lets them to pick her outfit, shoes, everything. The outfit is a black suit, one of her own design for the designer that she works. When Farhad helps her to get dressed, she does not even know that she is all naked in front of them. Mario is decorating his car with American flag and wreath of flowers. They are waiting for him to come home so they all go for this difficult task. Farhad is crying. Sylvie is hanging to him to comfort him. Hana is sitting on the sofa and is waiting, and waiting...

To Be continued